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Baby blues

She fell pregnant at fourteen, but when the time came she couldn't give her baby up for adoption. Find out how she listened to her heart.

Brown hair girl smiling
only you can know which is right for you!
When I was 14 I fell pregnant. It wasn't something I set out to do. Suddenly I was faced with a decision that ultimately would change my life.

When I discovered my pregnancy I was given a few choices, One was to keep the baby and bring it up myself, another was to give birth and put the baby up for adoption or foster care, and the other was a termination of the pregnancy.

I chose to keep my baby for several reasons. First up my personal values prevented abortion from being an option. Although I respect women who make this choice, it was not something I felt I could do. Besides, when I discovered I was pregnant, I was actually already 5 months pregnant and too far gone to have an abortion. I had actually decided to give my baby up for adoption, but when I gave birth to him, I realised I wanted to bring him up myself.

Being a young mother was very difficult, I had to juggle school, working and having a social life -which when you're that age is very important!

I ended up leaving the school I was at because I was so discriminated against. Looking back I know I should have been stronger and stood up for myself, but I didn't. No one should ever be placed in a situation, where just because their life is a little different to what society says it should be, that they feel threatened in any way.

My support network

I couldn't have come this far without having support I did. I was lucky because I found a school that was very accepting, I was allowed to do part time school for the first few months of the baby's life and I had teachers tutor me to keep up with school work. I met some really wonderful people at school who never judged me and helped me out when ever I needed it. You have no idea how eager some girls are to baby-sit! It was a lifesaver to know that I could leave my little boy with someone for a few hours while I went to school. The baby's father and I stayed together after the birth and he helped me look after and bring up the baby. He has stood by me through everything and I know I'm very lucky for that.

One thing that made my decision a whole lot easier was counselling. When I found out I was pregnant I decided I needed help to sort out my options and my feelings. So I sought out a professional counsellor. Having that support made all the difference and I strongly recommend it to anyone in this situation!

My life was changed by my decision, but it's not one that I look back on and regret. Although I lost some things, I gained a lot as well. I'm not telling anyone to go out and get pregnant, but I am saying that if you find yourself in that way remember, there are always options and only you can know which is right for you!

If you know a young person who is faced with this situation, remember that they are still the same people, and they need as much support as they can get. Don't judge someone simply because of a decision they have made, because no one ever deserves to be deserted, especially not in a time of need.

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Last reviewed: 26 June, 2015
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