ROdown Blog
Art imitating life: grief, loss, the ups + downs of life + getting through it
Art
I saw a really great play a couple of weeks ago called Spring Awakening which focused on a group of young people from a town in Germany in the late 1800s.
It dealt with a lot of issues – from young love and friendship to sexual assault and incest. From teenage pregnancy and abortion through to suicide and death. It was pretty full on, but I really enjoyed it - it was real.
There were heaps of young people there – much more than your typical night at the theatre! There was a lot of rambunctious applause, a lot of crying, and some laughing in there too, reflecting the ups and down of life.
Real life
Most of you will have experienced the ups and downs of life. You will possibly have experienced friendship, love and happiness, but you might also have experienced bullying, low self-esteem, the loss of a loved one or mental illness.
Grief, loss + the rollercoaster that life is
The play and other recent events got me thinking about grief and loss, the ups and downs of life, and the massive impact that traumatic events experienced by many of you out there can have on your mental health and wellbeing.
Many of these events can be earth-shatteringly painful. They can change you as a person. It might feel like it will be difficult to move on.
Help is available + you can get through it
There is help out there though, and you can move on from even the most difficult situations. At Reach Out we believe in your ability to get through anything and everything, with the right help :)
Fact sheets + stories on Reach Out that you might find useful
- Stories and fact sheets on loss and grief
- Feeling crap or when life sucks fact sheet
- Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
- Who can help you section
- Help yourself section (fact sheets on building your own mentalhealth and wellbeing, and ...well, helping yourself!)
What has been you experience + what are your tips for others?
What have you found helpful to get through grief and loss, and the tough times in life, and what tips would you give to others to get through these times?
What do you do to bring about more of the happier times in your life?
Happy weekend everyone :)
(Please remember the community rules to keep our community safe - we'd love you to share tips about how to get through tough times without going into detail about your own personal situation. Eg, who did you talk with, what helped, what do you reckon would help other people? Thanks everyone!)
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10 Comments
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Anara
10 months ago
Reply Reportya i no what life having ups n downs, my life was pretty good until about 2 years ago. my mum started to have an afeir and started to get me to be 'mum' around the house. then my rents broken up, a good family died 3 weeks later, i move interstate with my dad, move into new home then about 4 days late we get a call saying a really good friend just hung themselves now that was all last year. life isn't really flash at the moment ether. but i have my friend at least
Counselling Psychologist Sydney
almost 2 years ago
Reply Reporthi everyone. antria i loved your post where you spoke about your own way of coming to terms with grief and loss in the form of past abuse.
what we often see in our psychology practice is that when past trauma and the consequences of it are often grieved for many years later - so it makes sense to leave some room for your feelings about these issues as they arise rather than pushing them away.
Thanks again for your courage to share.
anna
almost 2 years ago
Reply Report@ Antria - thanks for sharing that :) I think it's a really good question - how do you allow yourself to feel without then getting stuck in these spaces? Do others have tips?
My understanding is that with a psychologist's help you can face traumatic events in a safe way - although obviously, as Antria said, recovery following a traumatic event is different for everyone.
If people are interested in how to get help for traumatic experiences I recommend you check out the Australian Centre for Posttraumatic Mental Health www.acpmh.unimelb.edu.au website (they reviewed the fact sheet!) - down the bottom you'll see a link to a pdf booklet which has more info on getting help on p7.
@wsimfu that sounds incredibly tough. I'm glad the therapy has helped, but am sorry to hear you stll experience flashbacks etc.
Have you ever looked into joining a support group? The managing grief fact sheet has some links to NALAG support groups, depending on where you live. It might be helpful to have a space to talk with others about what you're experiencing and how to get through it :)
Antria
almost 2 years ago
Reply ReportHi wsimfu,
That sounds super tough and I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to have that experience. At the same time, it sounds like you have been very resilient through it all! Have you considered continuing to speak to a counsellor or calling Lifeline (13 11 14) to talk to them about how you might be able to communicate your need for support to your family?
Take care and I hope you find the support that you need to get through this!
wdmfu
almost 2 years ago
Reply ReportAfter my husband ended his life nearly 3 years ago, I was told I have ptsd - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. After 2 and a half years of therapy, Ive learnt to cope a little better but I'm afraid the flashbacks, isolation, guilt, fear and horror still live in my head. I understand how lonely it is to be suffering a mental illness.
I live with it daily.
Its good to join and hopefully, someone else out there can talk to me to help me through this.
wsimfu
great to have you in the community wsimfu :)
edited by moderator check the community guidelines here.
Antria
almost 2 years ago
Reply ReportI really like this approach to the concept of grief and loss! Lately I have been thinking about this alot. I've been really blessed in the sense that my life so far has included very few losses to death in those very close to me.
However, I have been realising that there has still been a significant amount of loss and that there is some benefit in acknowledging and grieving this. For example some of the traumatic experiences in my life (such as abuse) have lead to me losing my sense of safety, self-worth and hope for a time. I think the way you put it as earth-shattering is probably true.
I have found it helpful to acknowledge how hard life can be sometimes and to give myself space to feel sad about the fact that I have experienced these things. I found this too hard to do on my own, but with the support of my counsellor I have slowly been able to go to these scary places within myself and begin to grieve things from the past that pretty much sucked! Its almost like for a long time I was feeling really down and having a hard time but I felt like I 'should' feel better and be able to move on. And all the while, I think I was really just needing to be able to grieve and actually feel - because for me thats different to depression (sadness that is).
I find the best thing for me is to not get too 'stuck' in those places, but to have fun, spend time with friends, keep life moving forward but to try to give myself spaces in amongst 'life' to feel what I am feeling.
The hard balance for me is to know how to feel enough but not get to stuck in those feelings and start to get down, I'd love to hear how people have dealt with that!
I think everyone is different and different forms of loss require a different response. At the end of the day though, I think with any of these in the midst of the darkness that can sometimes come with grief and loss it can be hard to imagine a bright future that keeps moving forward...I have found for my own life though that this is certainly possible.
For the record, I really love the factsheets on happiness :-)
anna
almost 2 years ago
Reply ReportI think they are really good points Olliie - loss does not just have to be about losing someone to death.
There can be a grieving process attached to many types of loss, and I think you're right in saying sometimes this can be underestimated by others.
I personally have found the Suggestions for managing grief and working through your grief fact sheets useful - and not just if someone has died.
@Emilyyy <3 sounds like things are pretty tough right now - have you had a look around some of the fact sheets and stories on the site? It might be worth thinking about talking to someone about what you're going through.
At some stage you might find some of these fact sheets on happiness useful too :)
Ophelia.L
almost 2 years ago
Reply ReportHi Emily,
Emilyyy<3
almost 2 years ago
Reply Reporti understand exatly where your coming from...
i feel like hiding from everyone.
i can't see myself being happy in the future.
Post edited by moderatator: please check the community guidelines - thanks :)
Ophelia.L
almost 2 years ago
Reply ReportWhat if no one died, but someone moved on and they're finding it difficult? They still talk to the person at times when possible, but they're finding it hard to accept or move on, and they're struggling with it?