ROdown Blog
Dealing with Loneliness - Moventure of a Gentleman
Steve Crombie, Mo Bro extraordinaire, has taken to the outback to learn the ways of a country gentleman, and to raise funds for Movember. This is Part Three of our interview with him about his experiences.
When did you feel lonely or isolated on your moventure?
In one of the most remote places in the world, the Pilbara region in Western Australia, it is easy to feel isolated. For the first seven days I was with Bob Cooper my survivalist teacher, but on the final three days Bob left me to fend for myself. Having no one to look out for me, listen to my concerns or provide advice forced me to revisit what I had learnt throughout the adventure and confront my survival situation. There was no other alternative.
How did you deal with the loneliness?
I used to deal with those situations by numbing my thoughts and spending a lot of time stuck inside my head. Chasing the same thoughts around and around. Trying to endure the pain or confusion it was causing until I managed to bury it. But in the Pilbara there was no other option but to face the elements and deal with the loneliness head on.
Back home in Sydney it would have been easy to get sidetracked, keep my mind busy and avoid confronting why I was feeling lonely. Funnily enough it was this time in the Pilbara that I cherished providing me an opportunity to reflect on what I had learnt, what my intentions were and how to approach the solo phase of the journey. The only thing the world can offer you is constant change. You can either learn from it or become a target of it.
What advice would you give to other young men about dealing with isolation / loneliness?
We live in a world with too many choices. It is hard to get a sense of who you are and what you believe in when being bombarded with so many opportunities and opinions. Whenever you feel down and isolated, remember there are many other people in this world who feel the same way. You are never truly alone. Use this time to learn about yourself and being content with your own company. Time alone provides you an opportunity to express your feelings and emotions, instead of tailoring them in a way deemed appropriate by whoever you are with at the time. If you are feeling game, try to be more open with your friends, tell them about your fears and concerns instead of running from them. Connect with others who have similar interests, and learn from others who have confronted their isolation like Virginia Satir
“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay"
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