ROdown Blog
Gratitude is good for you
Recently I’ve been particularly aware of the many things in my life I have to be grateful for.
Last week I had a fun-filled week at the snow. I was grateful not only for a week off work to rest and relax, but also for the healthy covering of snow which starkly contrasted with the ice and slushiness I’ve become accustomed to in the past.
I just rang up my Nana who is 95 today (happy birthday Nana!) and realised how grateful I am for such a strong, generous and wise woman in my life.
Last night I met with friends for drinks and realised how grateful I am for the fun I have with them and the role they play in keeping me sane!
At our staff meeting this morning we sat down and all introduced ourselves on the YA forums, and I realised how grateful I am for the young people who work so energetically and enthusiastically with us.
That’s four things without thinking too hard, and I’m sure I could think of plenty more. It felt good just writing them down!
And that’s what the research says – that people who practice gratitude (or the act of being thankful) and who record things they’re grateful for are more likely to be happier. So it would seem to me we should be trying to find a lot more things to express our gratitude about, don’t you think?!
Even if you have bad memories about the past, it is possible to change them to neutral or good memories through forgiveness. For more info check out the Gratitude and forgiveness fact sheet.
Community challenge
Keep a diary for the next couple of weeks (as a trial!) where you write down all the things and people you’re grateful or thankful for. It doesn’t matter how big or small.
Dr Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of The How of Happiness conducted experiments in her laboratory which showed that people were more successful at increasing their happiness when they wrote in their gratitude journals every Sunday night than when they did it three times a week.
This is an average, so different timing will work for different people.
Why not start by trying to write in your gratitude journal once a week on a Sunday, and then see what works best for you in terms of regularity and timing. The main thing is to keep it enjoyable and fresh and to not turn it into a chore.
Try writing about three to five things or people you’re grateful for before you go to bed, or first thing in the morning, or on the way to school, uni or work – whatever works best for you.
You can record your three to five things either privately in your own journal, or if you like you can share on the ROtreat forums in the Gratitude thread in the Zen Den.
Want a different option for expressing gratitude?
If the journal approach doesn’t work so well for you, there are other ways of practicing gratitude, such as:
- putting aside time to reflect upon the things and people you are grateful for
- acknowledging an ungrateful thought “school/uni/work is boring” and finding a grateful one to substitute it with eg “I enjoy school/uni/work overall – I have new challenges and have good friends there”
- talk with a friend on a regular basis about the things you’re thankful for
- express your gratitude through art
- express your gratitude to someone face to face
- write a letter of gratitude to someone, and either send it or don’t! Studies have shown substantial boost in happiness either way, although the largest boost has been shown when you actually hand deliver your letter of gratitude (Seligman et al, 2005).
Drop back in at this blog post over the next few weeks and let us know how you go!
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9 Comments
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anna
over 2 years ago
Reply Reportthanks everyone for letting us know about what you are grateful for :)
Are there others out there who'd like to share, and to take part in this gratitude challenge?!
For those who've been doing it, how's it been going?
It's been going well for me. I find that when I get frustrated or upset about something, and can so much more quickly delve into that list of things that are great in my life - the people, my circumstances etc - I guess that list is now more readily available!
That's me anyway - what about you?
:)
Cynth
over 2 years ago
Reply ReportHi
I think its so true that we need to be grateful - life is hard but we are all very blessed living in acountry where we have food, water, shelter and freedom. Its so sad that in the year 2009 there are still countries that have children that are suufering from lack of food. They don't have anything and these are children as young 1.
I am so graeful that I have a wonderful family and friends. But most important I have God and I am grateful for everything He has done in my life.
Live each day being thankful and knowing life is a gift.
Antria
over 2 years ago
Reply ReportI though that might be the case! Its kind of different when you are in a research study I guess, because it is more of a chore! What I have found, is that when I don't set a plan (e.g., every night, every sunday) what I tend to do is to express my gratitude when something good is happening or when I feel particularly grateful. So for me its worked best to try to think or something every day because its helped me to realise how much I have to be grateful for in the face of stress, sickness, feeling down etc as well as when the sun is shining and there is pretty much no way to NOT feel grateful!
I think it is different for everybody though - I'd love to hear what works best for other people and why! :-)
anna
over 2 years ago
Reply ReportHave people been testing out the whole gratitude journal thing? How's it been going?
This quote about gratitude just arrived in my inbox:
"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." - John F. Kennedy
Have you found your new-found expression of your appreciation and gratitude impacting on your behaviour?
Interested to hear your thoughts - remember you can share in the gratitude thread of the forums if you feel like it - see link in post above :)
anna
over 2 years ago
Reply ReportAntria - that sounds like a great idea!
I think the once a week thing is more about keeping it fresh and not a chore, but if you and your friends are finding your method engaging and enjoyable, then obviously the every night thing works for you!
It's just that for people in the study, once a week worked best on average.
It's great to hear that hearing other people's things they're grateful for is inspiring in itself - so it's almost like you get an extra large helping of gratitude!
On that note - I'm going to go post in the gratitude thread of the ROtreat forum :)
Antria
over 2 years ago
Reply ReportI find being grateful has had a big impact on my life (for such a simple thing) - though no idea why doing it only once a week makes a difference?
About a year and a half ago a friend set up this thing where she and about 6 people she knows (including me) send an email around every night (or less often if we wish) just listing something we are grateful for that day. It has really impacted me to get into the habit of finishing my day by reflecting on that (if I'm not online I don't email but often still come to think of it). I have found that even on the darkest days there is always something amazing to be grateful for - and when I think about it and recognise it it seems so much more important and meaningful. Its also been great to read what others are grateful for, especially because three of the others who do it have kids, so there are always so many amazing things they do every day!
I highly recommend doing something like that with a group of friends (or doing it here on RO) and just seeing how it turns out. I think the biggest challenge is on the really hard days/weeks but it turns out that is when it matters most!
Becks
over 2 years ago
Reply Report@Anna. To be honest, I don't do it often. I think that's why the last time was so long. Haha. Basically, my mind gets to a point where it is 'full' so to speak, and therefore needs to be emptied. And that's when I reflect. =) It is something however I'm aiming to do more of, because I found it really useful the last time, and would like that to continue!
Becks
anna
over 2 years ago
Reply Reportthat's great Becks - wow - 24 hr reflection! :)
How often do you do this? Is it something you try to do regularly (not necessarily the 24hr part!) ?
It's a good point that we are not trying to deny the things we might not so ungrateful for, but more trying to get into the headspace of thinking more about the good things - because that's what makes us feel good - rather than the negative.
The negative can be either countered by a grateful thought, as in the example in the post, or managed in other ways, such as speaking with a counsellor about it - check out the Gratitude fact sheet for more ideas.
Does anyone else have experiences with practicing gratitude to share?
:)
Becks
over 2 years ago
Reply ReportI think gratitude is one of those topics which people don't think enough about. Sometimes, we all get caught up in our lives, emotions etc, that we forget to stop and have a think about the things we are truly grateful for. Gratitude is an amazing concept, and honestly, it really does work. Only a couple of weeks ago, I sat down and spent about 24 hours nearly, just reflecting on my life, and both the good and bad aspects of it. However, at the end of my reflection and writing time, I realised how much the good things overpower the bad things, and it was an amazing feeling to realise this. So yeah, I'm a real fan of gratitude and reflection. =)
What a great community challenge!! I look forward to contributing what I'm grateful for, and also hearing what others have to say. =)
Becks