ROdown Blog
How do you support a male friend?
Being a guy myself, I think it’s pretty safe to say that I don’t really talk to my guy friends about issues that are bothering me.
I’ll talk about what initially comes to mind, but that’s about it, none of the heavy stuff. It just seems… I dunno, something about it just doesn’t seem right.
That stigma that I just mentioned… It shouldn’t exist, and we’re hoping to do something about it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a huge thing like getting a group of 10 or so guy friends together for a few beers and then say ‘right, let’s talk about feelings!’ (how awkward would that be…?), it can be something as simple as pulling a mate aside or going up to them when they’re alone and asking ‘what’s up?’.
It’s these kinds of things that we’re going to be taking a look at on Monday from 8.00pm EDT on forums.reachout.com. One thing to note though, this session isn’t necessarily for guys only.
Ladies, you are more than welcome to contribute, but the session will focus predominantly on males. If you can’t make the session, feel free to check out the following factsheet on what to do if your friend is distressed.
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2 Comments
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Roisin - RO Crew
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportHey there ilye,
Wow, It really sounds like you are an amazing, supportive friend, your freind is very lucky to have some one like you in his life :)
As I don't know you or your friend I can not really give specific advise. It is great that you have assured your freind that you are there for them if he ever need's to talk. This is ione of the best things you can do for a freind who is going through a tough time. If you are worried that you may be asking your freind if they are ok to the point where you think it may be annoying them, then maybe you could speak to them about this.
Have you seen these fact sheets we have with heaps of tips about what you can do if you are worried about a freind who is feeling down, or withdrawing from you? here are the links:
http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/worried-about-someone-feeling-depressed,
http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/when-someone-pushes-you-away
As awesome as it is that you are so supportive for your friend, it is important to remember to take time out to look after yourself. It can be really stessfull when you are worried about a friend but you won't be able to be there for them if you don't make sure that you are ok yourself. This fact sheet has some really handy tips for supporting a freind while taking care of yourself as well: http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/remember-to-take-care-of-yourself-as-well
All the best :)
Roisin - RO Crew
ilye
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportHey,
I've just read through the forum session and there's some useful stuff there but I have a specific question about talking to a male friend (or any really, it's just that in my situation it's a guy) - how do you continue to check up on them and see if they are ok without sounding condescending? As in, I've told him a few times that I'm always here if he needs to talk etc, but I still worry about him a bit and feel like I should take the initiative and ask him how he's doing rather than expecting him to come and talk to me, because I understand that that can be daunting. However, I worry that if I'm consistently asking "are you ok" I'm being condescending, treating him like he doesn't know when to ask for help or like I suspect him of not seeking help when he needs it. Then I worry that I'll annoy him and make him feel like his depression defines him because I'm always referring to it when I talk to him. Should I just treat him like normal and wait for him to come to me if he wants to talk about anything deeper?
Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!