ROdown Blog
Making Friends and Keeping Them
It’s the time of year when you’re about to walk into a classroom, lecture theatre or brand new job filled with scary new faces. You’re worried – are you good enough? You’re frightened – will they be nice? You over-analyse – where should you sit? This could be your seat for the rest of the year. These few minutes could affect your entire year.
Starting a new year comes with lots of decisions, the minutiae of a new world that is most likely to turn out well but a scary possibility of not being just how you would like. So what do you do to make it the best year?
Make friends. It sounds simple as two words on a web page. It can be easy. Think about the sort of people with whom you instantly want to be friends. They are generally the bright and bubbly ones, the ones that can keep a conversation going with you, even if it is just about the weather. These sorts of people behave like they’ve known you for a while, even if they don’t know you at all. It’s a good strategy for making friends. It’s something you could try yourself. Be open but don’t tell your new acquaintance your life story. If you aren’t good at coming up with conversation topics on the spot, here are a few.
Possible conversation topics:
- Sports, whether you play or watch
- The last movie you saw
- Something that has been happening in the news lately
- Fashion
- Subjects you’re studying
- Where you grew up
- Which high school you went to
- Which course you might like to do in the future
- How you ended up at your new job or what sort of things are involved in it.
The most important thing is to say hello and start up the conversation. Most people will be thrilled that you’ve taken the time to talk to them. Plus, most people love talking about themselves. Remembering what they tell you for next time will make you seem like a really attentive and good friend.
After a few successful conversations, hopefully your confidence is boosting and you’ll look forward to heading back to class, school or work. You might not have hit it off with everyone – that’s completely normal. It’s difficult to ‘click’ with everyone. You’re not a failure if you don’t like everyone, nor if some people don’t ‘click’ with you.
Next time you’re in the same class or back at work, try chatting with the people you liked again. Ask them how they are going or if they’re enjoying what you’re learning. Once you’ve gotten to know them a little bit, you might like to ask them if they would like to hang out sometime or if they would be a facebook friend if you both have an account.
Sometimes it can be hard to find time to chat with the people in your classes or in your workplace because you’re busy doing what you’re actually supposed to do! Often it can be a good idea to join a few clubs and societies (and actually participate!) so you can meet more people with similar interests. If you like hockey, join the hockey team. If you like chess, join the chess club!
Most clubs have no skill prerequisites, so if there’s something you’ve always wanted to try you should go for it. There is a very wide range of clubs that you can join through your local community and most of them have quite a few people who attend.
There’s no special secret to making friends and keeping them. Try to start conversations, keep in contact with the people with whom you enjoy spending time, be open to their questions but don’t share information that you don’t want to and most of all, enjoy the adventure!
Now here’s the question for you: How do you find new friends?
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1 Comment
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Doris
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportFinding new friends? Go a bit of hunting, talk to everyone I am comfortable with. Keep in contact with them and hope for the best.