ROdown Blog

I think the breakfast show raised a very interesting question, "When do you become a man?". You know, are you always a man, do you "become" a man?

Yeah that was a really good point!

Hey guys + girls (Yes, that's right...girls too!)

What's your take on Doug's question?

What's a man to you?

For me, a man is someone who is in touch with his feelings and emotions. Someone who can be affectionate and understanding. Someone who doesn't have to act different to fit in. Someone who treats women with respect and who isn't dominant and aggressive.

Basically, to me, a man is someone who is honest to themselves and to others. =)

nicely put Becks :)

Have people been following triple j? Heard any of the drops (short interviews) with well known Aussies?

I heard singer/songwriter Dan Sultan last night on my way home from the triple j studios - was so refreshing to hear a guy talking so openly about his feelings and really opening up the conversation around depression.

Think he spoke about having experienced depression, and how it wasn't him, it was the illness - or the 'blanket' or 'black dog' as I think he referred to it.

He spoke about how his friends and family helped him through it, and how important these people had been at that time.

Really cool to hear guys opening up about this kind of thing, and I guess in a way helping make it seem OK for other guys to open up a bit as well and talk about it with their mates or whoever might be appropriate.

Think you should be able to check it out on the Hack website, although it wasn't working earlier - check it out later perhaps :) 

http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/hack/notes/s2610648.htm

Has anyone heard any of the others?

Becca and Sam here (both girls)
We think a man is...
A biologically determined person and/or someone who identifies with the male characteristics. So - if they were born female but more identify psychologically with the male traits then they could count too - if they wanted to.
We think the male characteristics are:
- High testosterone levels (Sam is a biology student and keeps correcting me :P)

...
We've realised that this is actually a very hard question - I think there used to be a clearer gender divide but now its not so clear. How much is nature and how much is nurture? There are so many different situations that making clear definitions is very difficult. Despite the fact that for so long its just been physicality, its now moving towards a position where (to some extent) you are able to choose your gender.
However, to borrow from the psych literature, there is a certain age when which gender stability is reached - even if that means that you're a girl in a boy's body (or vice versa)
To us, the idea of physicality is really important. By that we mean that it doesn't depend on how you act, its more a combination of what you physically look like but also what you determine mentally.

That's our two cents! :D

For me....a man is someone who respects women, so they can get the respect back.

A man is someone who doesnt intimidate women, take advantage of women.

A man is also who has a heart, and with that heart comes feelings and the emotions, as what Becks said.

A man also is one who is not too high off himself and thinks, men should be the centre of attention.

And also, one who doesnt have to be living for the others in relations to their background belief.
 
To each his own.

So what's a man, what makes a man, what's masculinity, when do you become a man... this has the potential to become very philosophical! :s

Don't forget HACK is on triple j tonight - 5.30pm!

I think a man is different for everyone. Some people might see the masculine figure as man-ly. Others might see the connectedness to a person's own feelings as man-ly. Yet, again, I come back to saying that if a person is true to themselves and to others, then they won't have to fit a stereotype.

Sure, you might have a male who feels more comfortable around women then other males. You might have a male who only feels themselves when around other males. You might have a male who feels comfortable around all sorts of people, whatever the gender. You might have a male who has an attraction towards only females. You might have a male who has an attraction towards only males. You might have a mall who has an attraction towards both males and females. Whatever the category, a male is a male if they truly believe that, that's who they are.

I mentioned this last night in the ROtreat discussion. I think males and females alike, spend way too much time trying to fit in and conform to society's norms, that people forget who they truly are. We are all unique, and no matter what, we will always be unique. We don't have to be what other people want us to be. I know that it's not easy to do, but it's something we shouldn't lose sight of. No matter what, if we are true to ourselves, respect ourselves and respect others, we will always fit in somewhere. We will never be truly alone.

</ End of ranty discussion hahaha. >

Becks

What an interesting topic, especially because I just watched Bruno last night - there's a part where he asked his gay-converter pastor if gay looks or acts different, how do you know if someone is gay and those sort of things.

It's interesting that so far, most of us, on a very general level agrees that a man is someone who is aware of himself - physically and mentally - and also someone who knows how to respect the other gender(s). Whether this is in touch with their feelings like what Becks said, or their physical attributions such as masculinity and anatomy, or like Ophelia said about respecting women (and I think the other genders too).

If we change the 'man' word in that, and replace it with women, it works the same way too.

I believe that we are smack-bang right in the middle of a shift from the stereotypical if-you-are-man-you-must-be-tough-masculine-guy to a more balanced awareness of the sentimental/sensitive side of men. This is the same with women too. And I think this shift is from the whole "gender equality movement" and a progression in human civilisation (maybe!). :-)

Whatever it is, I personally think that in our society, or in my opinion, a person's identity has moved far beyond their gender but what they do or are capable of and those sort of things. But our gender is still part of it and its how we use our manliness that defines our definition of a man.

I am so rambling!

Edited by moderator 8 months ago

I think being a man is as simple as being a genuine honest, nice person, who identifies themselves as 'male'.

Listen out for Hack @ 5.30pm on tripleJ - not long now - 14 mins and counting!

And then check out the ROtreat forums (tripleJ-Hack topic) from 6pm to continue talking :)

Great conversation everyone! Doug + Ehon - great work too :)

Hey Anna,

Have not been following exactly but tuned in this morning and heard one guy talking about his experience of anxiety, he did a great job!

Hey Antria! I didn't hear it all unfortunately - had to run off to open forums - will have a listen now :)

Hey guys,

In case you missed the show tonight you can listen on the Hack website http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/hack/

We had a great discussion on the forum tonight which is now closed, but you can check it out here: http://au.reachout.com/connect/forums/triplej-hack/30-06-09-day-2-man-week-frilly-round-the-edges-when-you-dont-fit-the-male-stereotype

Feel free to continue the discussion here!

Look forward to seeing people on the blog tomorrow for day 3: NO MAN'S LAND: When men can and can't go.

Remember to tune into Hack at 5.30pm then jump on the forums at 6pm AEST to discuss more!

:)

Hey!

Is the tuesday show going to be updated on the J homepage??

I don't get to listen to the radio at that time so I downloaded Mondays show and now have downloaded Wednesdays show, but the Tuesday mp3 is still from the previous week.

i think it important to just b u and nobody else

a man is the basement of the emotion house who said whatever a man should be patient, enjoy and relax charachter