ROdown Blog
Meeting people + making friends
School, uni and TAFE are back after the holidays and while a lot of you will already have your routines and friends to hang out with, some of you might have started a new school, uni or TAFE and be experiencing that ‘new kid on the block’ feeling all over again.
There are a few things that can make meeting new people a bit easier, especially if you’re someone who tends to be a bit shy when you don’t know people so well – check out the links to our fact sheets for more tips.
The number one thing for me is making an effort to smile and be friendly – opening yourself up to people can make them feel more comfortable and more likely to be friendly in response.
Occasionally people don’t react the way you hope they might, and while this can hurt, as you get more experience with ‘putting yourself out there’ you learn not to let it affect you as much. If someone doesn’t want to get to know you better it’s their loss!
Earlier this week an Info Bus session with Rosie in the ROtreat forums dealt with the topic of making friends and mid-week special guest Alex Uzice led a discussion about overcoming the fear of rejection in the Features section of the ROtreat forums – there are some great suggestions in there so check them out.
So over to you - what has helped you meet new people and make new friends?
Happy weekend everyone - remember to try out the gratitude exercises this weekend!
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3 Comments
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anna
over 2 years ago
Reply ReportIt can be hard to go past that 'hi, how are you' phase - some of the suggestions in the fact sheets include things like getting involved in regular activities like sport, or art or community college type activities, or clubs or community groups - if you're seeing people for an extended time on a regular basis I guess it's more likely it will feel more comfortable suggesting grabbing a coffee or a bite to eat afterwards.
It can be a challenge - and I imagine particularly so in a country town where people have established groups.
Let us know if you find out some good tips from the counsellor !
Laurenjade
over 2 years ago
Reply ReportI too also love meeting new people and although i am a bit shy i open up after after a few moments and can start talking. However sometimes i find it hard to start and continue conversations, i just dont know what to talk about sometimes.
Im also struggling with maintaining and growing friendships with people that live in the town i reside in. I am a newcomer to a country town and am not sure how to build these friendships. i make the excuse of "they are all in their little groups" and "its not like i can message so and so to go out for a coffee because i dont really know them all that well and would just talk about netball".
I cannot seem to establish and grow relationships with other girls in the town past the "Hi, how are you?" at a party or on the street. I find it difficult finding that common interest and talking point.
So yeh that is about it, i have started seeing a counsellor so maybe i can get some tips on getting better at building friendships!
Ophelia.L
over 2 years ago
Reply ReportI don't think meeting new people is only in an education facility, because we meet new people wherever we are, too...
Eg: relatives, new work environment....you try to make friends with them, so you connect well together and can bond with one another, without having to be so shy and hideaway with your folders or just be the observer.
Making friends is hard, but once you get in the spirit in communicating with other people, you'll think: Oh Wow! I can so relate to these people!
Like, at the law firm where I used to work - I was the newbie and the shy one, but on the 2nd day, I was like crazy....I was really making friends with a few people, except with one haha...she said Im a bitch! Haha! So, that day it made me laugh that I didn't really let that get to me, but I actually approached her and told her, if we're both gonna work together in conveyancing - I aint getting any attitude from you and she was like in the business for like 2 years (I think)! And I just seriously told her that! I didn't care! I guess every one is different really.
For me, if someone pisses me off in the work placement, or at school - Ill just confront them and draw the line to them, that this is where I stand and if things aren't going to work out, than its best to be forgotten about, but later on, me and the person who called me a bitch at work, we were like getting along fine.
I like making friends with people, because its good to socialise with people, but like at work, if Im going to hold a grudge against that person, than its going to cause me distress in the work environment, which is exactly like the education facility. You can't really stay away from your enemies, but be close to them. Wherever you go, your enemy is bound to turn up in front of your face and than you get that weird vibe feeling, thinking: Oh OO...is she or he going to punch me? Like, it's that weird feeling. Or you're most probably going to be ignored. And you can't escape from that.
That's why I always confront the person to clear the air! Because I don't want to go to sleep with stress on my mind :)
I love making friends!
Does that make sense?