ROdown Blog
Spotlight on Doug
Who are you?
Doug Millen. 21. Melbourne, and all over. Student. So shallow these words we use!
Where did you grow up?
I come from an Air Force family, so I’m not really from one place! However, the places I’ve lived have mostly been the outer suburbs of somewhere, mostly Melbourne.
What do you do?
As much as I dislike how we define each other by what we do… I’m studying psychology – also lots of time between classes talking with friends! I love to cook, read, taking the dog for a walk and playing the clarinet.I also spend a considerable amount of my time doing things for the Inspire Foundation!
What’s your favourite piece of music?
Oh, I could never, ever have a favourite! I love music, all kinds. Nowadays I probably listen more to the quieter acoustic/indie variety, but in high school I had a metal stage (inexplicably). The best kind of music is live music, where everyone is dancing and singing.
The biggest hurdle you’ve overcome and how you did it?
“I think I’m gay” were the heaviest, most difficult words I’ve ever said. I was sitting in the car with my girlfriend of the time, in the middle of the night. We’d been there for at least an hour, both waiting for me to say something. She knew something was coming, but didn’t know what. It was just one of those things. I hadn’t planned to talk about it then, hell I didn’t even know that was exactly how I felt until I said it. It wasn’t real until I said it, out loud, to someone in my life. The next morning, before I even got out of bed, I told my whole family. Then over the next couple of days I told all my friends. It wasn’t at all a ‘coming-out party’ but, thankfully, it went down pretty OK with everyone. I think maybe that says that I choose my friends well!
I hadn’t planned to come out, I wasn’t even sure that there was something to tell. What I’ve learnt from that experience, of years and years of keeping the secret, is the importance of talking to people, and believing in yourself. You have to be confident that you’re a good person, no matter what other people say – and if you don’t believe that, then trust me, you’re a good person. Sometimes it’s hard being a fish swimming against the current, but it makes you stronger.
Who do you talk to when you’ve got a problem?
When I’ve got a problem, I tend to do a lot of thinking. I actually talk to myself!
I’m also really lucky to have a heap of good friends I can ring up and chat about anything with, who will drop what they’re doing and listen to me, and talk things through. I used to spend a heap of time on MSN talking with friends, talking about everything that was going on! I think it was a big outlet having that at high school.
What’s your greatest achievement?
Well. I’d like to think that it’s yet to come! I’ve done a lot of things that I’m really proud of, once-off things like speaking to big audiences and climbing Mt Kilimanjaro, high school awards and stuff. But I think, truly, my greatest achievement is not being afraid. Not being afraid of life, of doing great things, of doing things you’re afraid of, of saying yes. Jump in: the water is rarely as deep as you think it is.
How do you cope with loneliness?
I remind myself that there are people out there who love me, by looking at photos, or reading old cards and things. Nowadays, Facebook helps with loneliness! My dog is always around when I’m not feeling up to things. I’ll give someone a ring. If it’s the middle of the night a good thing to do is get warm in some blankets, grab a cup of tea and read a favourite book, with characters I love.
Who are some of your heroes and role models?
Wow, I have heroes and role models everywhere, for all sorts of reasons. I think the reason I am who I am today, and the reason I’ll be who I am tomorrow, is because every moment of my existence I know there’s someone I’ve met, or I know of, who has done something better than me. They’ve shown me that it’s possible to be better. But probably some of the most important role models in my life are people who have been the most basic, but the most difficult things – like losing someone, or depression – and have gotten through it, to be happy, inspiring people. These are the people who inspire me to be better so I can make others’ lives better.
Have you ever seen someone like a counsellor, and did it help?
Through my hardest times, I was a bit silly, and never did. Although, somehow, I convinced friends to! I know it helped them so much. Having someone to talk to can make things so much easier. I kinda wish I had when I was at high school. Nowadays I probably wouldn’t mind having someone totally impartial to chat to about difficult things every now and then! A friend of mine reckons it would be good if, in the future, our culture changed so that every 6 weeks or so we went and saw a counsellor, just like we see a GP or a hairdresser. It’s a nice idea… but we’ll see!
What are your goals for the future?
Um… to be happy, and do good! I think it’s important to know what you’re doing now, and what you’re doing next. That way, you’ll always have something to do, and something to move onto. For me at the moment, life changes so much that I can’t, and don’t want to, plan ahead too far – every step I take is determined by the one before it. With life, you honestly never know what’s going to happen, you just never know. I think if I always make considered choices, and follow what I love doing, then I won’t end up wrong.
How did you get involved with Inspire and ReachOut.com?
I’ve been a Youth Ambassador with ReachOut.com for nearly six years. I’ve practically grown up with the Inspire Foundation! I’d been using the site on and off for a while, and one night I happened across a link to apply to volunteer for the website. I did a bit of further research about how the site is guided at every step by young people, and most of the content is either written by, or written with, young people, and I was just so impressed that I wanted to become a part of it. And I haven’t looked back!
What's the most exciting thing you've done as part of your involvement with Inspire and ReachOut.com?
Over the years I’ve done heaps of amazing stuff with the Inspire Foundation – some truly awesome things that I doubt I would have done had I not been a part of Inspire. Just recently I spoke about Inspire’s approach to youth participation at the First International Youth Mental Health Conference in Melbourne. I spent heaps of time putting the session together, making sure that it would really show the conference delegates what working with young people looks like at Inspire - and it went really well. It’s really remarkable to be trusted and respected so much by an organisation, and to have so many opportunities to do great things. I would recommend being a Youth Ambassador to anyone – it will change your life.
What’s the best thing about being alive?
Being happy with other people. For me, it’s that simple.
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14 Comments
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dougsky
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportThanks all, you're the best!
Ophelia.L
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportDougieee ... wow .. i learnt new things about you and I love your greatest achievements. You my friend is v. wise & inspiring :)
Atari - Inspire Crew
over 1 year ago
Reply Report"Sometimes it’s hard being a fish swimming against the current, but it makes you stronger."
Wise words, Doug!
Can't wait to read more of these :D
HailsB
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportDoug - your on my list of admiration.
Liamay
over 1 year ago
Reply Reportdougie you are pure awesomeness! And you play the clarinet.. wow I didnt know that!
ejsaysgrr
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportCooking and reading AND also studying psychology? We have more in common than I thought :P
SamB
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportIn one word: Inspiring. There's this quote by Dr Suess (to which I was introduced by a former YA) that I'm sure you know - Do what you want and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. In many ways, it seems like you embody that quote.
Thanks for sharing your personal story :)
Becks
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportGreat work Dougie! Very inspiring indeed! =)
I hope that these types of spotlights become a regular thing, because I think it would be awesome for YP/ YA's to share a bit about themselves. It creates a real sense of community. =)
JoD - Inspire crew
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportHullo Douglas! Hello All! I look forward to reading more of these :)
Doris
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportHey Doug!
Real cool, it reminds me of what life should be like. Some times one can forget how to live... I like your style, the way you express your self, it is new to me. It would be awesome to know you face to face, hope the opportunity comes!!
Also thanks to Nadine for posting the blog! Very good idea :)
Antria
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportLove this! Doug, I love the pictures, haha! I never knew you played the clarinet!
JowellS.
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportThats Was So Heart Felt Doug!
ryvb3
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportAgreed, very inspirational. :D
Bella.
over 1 year ago
Reply ReportVery inspirational Doug - well done :)