ROdown Blog
Stand up and be counted
During my late years of primary school and early years of high school I was being bullied by girls I called my friends. I couldn’t imagine anything worse.
According to http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/bullying-what-it-is, It was a classic combination of what is known as psychological and social bullying. I realised this after the bullying had stopped by doing research on ReachOut.
Social bullying includes being left out, ignored or having rumours spread about you, whilst psychological bullying is often less obvious or direct than other forms of bullying and can make you feel intimidated or manipulated. Every dirty look, every nasty comment and every time I was excluded I saw my self-esteem get lower and lower.
There were countless days where I would come home from school crying and begging mum to let me stay home. Soon enough I found myself constantly questioning what I was doing wrong and trying to please these so-called friends. I knew I should go and make new friends, but the thought of actually standing up to those girls was terrifying. So I did nothing.
Finally, after four years of being bullied, I found the strength to do something about it. It finally clicked that I would be a happier, stronger person if I stood up to my bullies and made new friends. With my parent’s support I went to the teachers and told them what was happening and that I needed it to stop.
I found their advice really helpful. With their help, several interventions were held where I was able to talk with my bullies about what they were doing. After a couple of months I moved on to new friends. An astounding one in six students report being bullied every few weeks or more often (Cross et al. 2009). So if you’re being bullied you’re not alone and we need to stand up against it. Being bullied can be one of the most challenging situations you will face as a young adult. But there IS light at the end of the tunnel.
Once I stood up for myself and removed myself from the friendship group that was bullying me, I found the confidence and self-assurance I never knew I had. By standing up for yourself you will build up your self-esteem and learn skills that you will use for life. You will also have the opportunity to find new friends whose company you can really enjoy. Here are some tips if you’re being bullied. There are so many great things you can do to help yourself if you’re being bullied. Not only will it take your mind off things for a little while, but you will learn to cope with the situation in a more positive way and maybe find a talent you never knew you had!
So here are some of my top tried and tested tips:
SPEAK OUT: Whether it is your parents, teachers or a friend, talking to someone about it really will help. According to http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/bullying-what-to-do-if-you-are-being-bullied, it will lighten your load and help you to work out how to solve the problem.
WRITE: Writing can be a great way to let out your feelings. Why not keep a diary and let all of those nasty thoughts out? Poetry and song lyrics do the trick too!
EXERCISE: Not everyone’s a fitness freak, but studies show that regular exercise has many positive effects. According to Kraft Foods it can also help manage stress and make you feel better about yourself.
MUSIC: You can listen to it, practice it, or write it yourself. But playing music is a great way to get your mind off things and vent (and your music teacher will be happy too!).
POSITIVE PEOPLE: Surround yourself with kind, positive people who like you for who you are. You deserve to be valued and treated properly! Who do you think you would like to go to for help?
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3 Comments
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Saf.x
12 months ago
Reply ReportThe exact same thing is happening to me at school, right now. Rumours are being spread that i have no idea how started, and girls i have known since early primary school and were my "best friends" have all turned agaisnt me along with this other girl to save themselves and to be "popular"......):
bulliedatwork
12 months ago
Reply ReportThank you for your story and I think you were very brave to confront your bullies and smart in moving on and finding better friends. My heart breaks when I hear about children suffering with bullying. I went through the same feelings 30 years ago and there was no help back then, even parents and teachers used to tell you to give it back to them, but girls bully in different ways to boys and it is almost impossible to give it back in some cases when you are totally isolated. Fortunately now, there are plenty of support mechanisms in place to help kids with this. Its been a long time, but I am being bullied at work by a mob of people who have been ring led by one person who was angry about my getting the job over him, and he has spread things around about me to the point where I am now almost totally isolated at work and I work for the public service. The bullies are protected by the HR people, I keep getting told to do different things, every time I ask for help. I can't prove it unless it is documented over time they said, so I documented. Then they have started to say that I might be imagining it. They have asked me to see a psychologist and asked me to sign a waver so they can get access to my private details from the sessions. They say they want to help me. But I'm concerned they want to use any information they can, and twist it around to use against me. Every time I answer a question the new OH&S person challenges me on my ability to perceive what is happening to me, as though I am some kind of nut case that can't comprehend when people are bullying others. I'm given less and less time to meet my deadlines, I'm put under more pressure than the other workers. The inuendo's about the level of my education, the innuendo's about my competence and one great one about my ethnic background. My manager viciously jabbed her hand right next to my face while standing over me last week. When I asked her to be careful, she acted out slapping me in the face back and forth, too close for comfort about 6 times. When I told the OH&S person, she asked me .. and what did you do?.. she said, okay, what do you want me to do about it? I thought she should have some idea of what she should do, she was hired to do the job, but she pushes the responsibility back to me. I'm worried my manager will start to sabotage my deadlines and make my work even harder than she does. For the following few days my manager kept attacking me over my methods of working and minute details of my job, she started yelling at me and standing over me and I told her I didn't want to argue with her, that I was extremely busy and would explain the technicalities of the process to her.
TheSocialHelpline
12 months ago
Reply ReportThe Social Helpline
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