Sex

Do I have to like porn?

Feeling worried that porn doesn’t tickle your fancy (so to speak)? Not to worry – while watching porn can benefit some people, it’s not for everyone. If porn isn’t your thing, there are other ways you can explore your sexuality.

Read this if: 

  • You don’t like porn and you don’t get why
  • You want to learn more about your sexuality
  • You don’t get what the big deal about porn is
  • You feel guilty or embarrassed when you watch porn

boy with headphones using a laptop

How important is porn?

Porn becomes a pretty big deal for some people when they reach a certain age. This is especially the case for people who have just hit puberty and seem to spend 95 per cent of their time thinking about the horizontal salsa.

Watching porn can have all sorts of benefits, like helping you to better understand your sexuality and how your ‘machinery’ works. It can also help you come to terms with your sexual development, and some of the weird things that start to happen to the body throughout those pesky teenage years. Basically, porn can be a helpful way to explore your sexuality, so long as it doesn’t get out of hand or start to bother you.

At the same time, porn isn’t all sunshine and rainbows so it’s completely normal if it’s not your cuppa tea. What you see in porn in no way reflects what happens in the real world; most of it is about as realistic as The Marvel Universe. It’s important that watching porn doesn’t give you sky high expectations of your own sex life, otherwise you’re definitely setting yourself up for disappointment. 

But I don’t like watching porn

Don’t like watching porn? It can be pretty full on and definitely isn’t for everyone - and that’s fine. There are some different reasons why porn might not really be up your alley:

  • You find it really unbelievable
  • You feel guilty when you watch it
  • It doesn’t turn you on
  • You’re not really sure how you feel about your own sexuality
  • You’re embarrassed about it
  • You’re not sure what you’re supposed to do or feel when you watch porn
These are just some of the totally valid reasons for not watching porn. Watching porn can be a healthy exercise, and shouldn’t make you feel guilty or embarrassed. At the same time, if you feel no desire to dip your toe in the porn pool, that’s nothing to feel bad about. At the end of the day, everyone feels differently about porn.

Exploring your sexuality in other ways

If you’re keen to explore your sexuality but you’re not interested in watching porn, there are loads of other things that you can do:

  • Use your imagination. Fantasize about different situations and people and see what you’re into.
  • Get adventurous with your sexual partner. Try different things to see what you like. This could be anything from chatting about new things, to getting freaky in new and unfamiliar places. Make sure you’re both on the same page and respecting what each other is feeling along the way.
  • You can find erotic versions of almost any fiction book these days. Picture this: a steamy love affair between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Not what you had in mind? Do a cheeky Google search to find something that’s more your thing. 
  • Get the facts on masturbation. It often goes hand in hand with porn, but it doesn’t have to. It can also be about learning what you like sexually, and understanding what the heck goes on down there. 

What can I do now?

  • Confused about something porn-related? Swing us a question.
  • Get the facts on masturbation.
  • Don’t be shy – chat to someone you trust about porn if you’re still feeling uncomfortable about it. 

Last reviewed: 17 August, 2015
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