A fear of the unknown - happiness

By: Emily, 15, NSW

When I finally spoke out about my depression and anxieties and other issues associated with them, I began to realise I wasn't a victim of my circumstances or my emotions - I could control the majority of my feelings if I chose to think about a situation in a more positive light.  But with this understanding came a great responsibility...to overcome a seemingly overwhelming fear of the unknown.  I simply wasn't used to being happy, and felt that the new approach took away my right to feel anything other than happiness.

So I decided to take it slow.  I read all the information I could find on being happy (including the RO fact sheets) and began to apply what I'd learned to everyday life.  I kept a daily diary, filled with all the things that were good in my life and the negative things I could change to positives.  I wrote a list of concerns that I showed to everyone in my support network, implementing strategies to deal with them.  I also became more interested in uplifting music.

I also wrote a happiness action plan for myself.  This included things such as the goals I had set for my life and how I plan to achieve them, a list of my strengths in case I forget them, a reminder of what good friends should be for times when I am tempted to enter a potentially unstable relationship, copies of my most inspirational poetry or stories and more.

All these techniques may not work for everyone, so if they are ineffective for you don't be discouraged.  There's plenty of good information on the Internet about increasing your happiness; it is possible and I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

It is important to remember too that your decision to be happy does not mean it is wrong to be unhappy some of the time. That's healthy. It simply means that you take responsibility for your life and play an active part in improving it.  You still can (and should) seek help when you need to.

So what's next for me? My biggest goals at the moment are to develop healthy relationships, and to be selected for the Reach Out Youth Advisory Board so I can share my experiences (and help improve RO).   

For more info on happiness and positive thinking, why not check out some other ReachOut links on the subject...

• Strengths and their influences on your happiness(Fact sheet)
• Gratitude and forgiveness - their influence on your happiness(Fact sheet)
• Happiness section(Resource)