A sad sibling

Me and my friend had been friends for 8 years. We knew just about everything about each other. We could tell the each other anything at all. When I was with her it was like a different world. But then one day last year sadly and suddenly my brother and sister both passed away through suicide. I was devastated, in shock, and just couldn't believe it. I never thought something like this would happen to me. But it did. Now, having my friend for 8 years I knew/thought that she would most definitely be there for me. But how wrong was I. About 2 months after their funerals she would ask me if I wanted to go out but I wasn't up to it and didn't want to leave home. She would also say to me we'll get together, we'll do this and we'll do that of course none of this stuff didn't happen.

I got so sick and tired of being hurt all the time and always being let down. That I thought it was about time I decided to do something about it. And it made me a stronger person for finally doing it. I wrote a letter. I told her pretty much exactly what I thought of her and how she was reacting etc. I told her that I didn't want to see, or hear, or talk to her ever again. I just couldn't take the extra pain any longer. I sent her the letter. A couple of weeks I got one back. It wasn't very nice mind you. I won't go into detail. But I just know how much writing the letter helped me to get over her hurting me. And for me to stick up for myself and I felt so good after wards.
 
Now a year later I have got the bestest friends anyone could ever want or have. They were my brother and sister's friends. And they will never know how much they have helped me deal with the loss that I have had to deal with. What I really wanted to say was that life does go on after you loose someone. I don't know how or where I'm getting the strength from but it does go on. And always try talking to a friend if you ever have a problem just don't ever give up. Keep trying and Good luck. Enjoy every second of your life cause you never know how long we have on this earth. 
 
I did see a counsellor for about 2 or 3 months and I found that going to her did help heaps. Cause I got to let out my feelings. I am getting through everyday by just doing every day at a time. Try not to think about the next day just finish the first and then think about the next. For a while I was writing poems about my feelings, which helped a lot. Because I can't cry I tried that and it really did help. Now I just need plenty of things to do and so long as I'm always busy I'm o.k Yes, if I needed to talk to family or my close friends I was able to but I don't really like to because I don't want to put my problems to anyone else. So I just write about them. But you will know when you want to talk to somebody. And when you want to do It. Find someone you can trust and tell all you want. Trust me it helps a lot. You will feel so much better when you do. You will feel like a butterfly free, like you don't have to do everything.