Anger

Why do people get angry?

Anger is a normal and healthy emotion experienced by everyone at some point. There are many different reasons as to why people get angry. You may have been treated unfairly, feel you have no control over things, be stressed or under a lot of pressure, experiencing body changes which cause major mood swings, be depressed, or just have a personality that has a short fuse. All can lead to anger, which is ok.

Anger can be a difficult emotion to express and manage, particularly because we have often been taught not to show or express our anger. It is not uncommon to feel guilty or ashamed about being angry despite it being a very normal and necessary emotion.

Anger only becomes unhealthy when we express it in a way that hurts others or yourself. Likewise if you bottle it up and don't express it at all, you may find that it will come out in ways that you didn't expect. There are many ways of expressing your anger. However becoming violent is never an option.

Managing your anger

Count to 100: When people are angry they can say or do things that they regret later. If you feel that you are becoming angry, do something to cool down, like counting to 100, and then continue the discussion later.

Leave the room: If the situation is getting to the stage where people are yelling or are possibly even being violent, leave the room and tell them you will talk about it when they and/or you are calm.

Write down your feelings: Like writing poems? Songs? Or just like writing? Great - get some of that anger out using your pen. Write down all your frustrations - this way it doesn't hurt anyone.

Kick a footy: Doing something active like kicking a footy, riding a bike, or going for a run. This will give you a chance to release some of the energy and calm down a bit.

Play videogames: If feel as if you are going to get into a fight, it's better to do while playing a video game rather than doing it in real life. Might be a good way to release some anger and energy.

Play some tunes: Strap on the headphones and play your favourite tunes for a while.

Sit in a quiet place: Go to a park or wherever you feel calm and just chill out. After you feel calmer (have counted to 100 or played some calming music) try and think about why you are angry along with some solutions to the problem you are having. it may be that you need to talk to someone because you can't work it out yourself- and this is pretty common. A lot of people can't work out the real reason why they get so angry.

Talk to a counsellor: There are lots of counsellors out there who are available to listen to you and help you work through your anger. There are even counsellors who specialise in anger management techniques - learning about these can help you heaps. You can find counsellors at your school or local community health centre.

Call Kids Helpline or Lifeline: When you are really upset it could be a great idea to talk with a counsellor over the phone. Kids Helpline (KHL) 1800 55 1800 and Lifeline 13 11 14 are available 24/7. KHL is free from a landline and won't show up on your home phone bill, and Lifeline is the cost of a local call from a landline.  See the fact sheets on teh left hand side of the page for more info.

What can I do if I keep getting angry?

If you find that you keep getting angry or that you are lashing out and regularly becoming violent towards people or things, it may be helpful to speak to a youth worker, counsellor, or your local doctor. Becoming violent is not helpful; you could make things worse or harm yourself or someone else.

Speaking to someone may help you identify why you are getting angry and also help you deal with that cause so that you don't need to resort to lashing out. Check out the Who can help you section on the left side of this page for more information about what a youth worker, counsellor or local doctor can do for you.

Looking for more info....

You may wish to check out other Reach Out fact sheets listed on the left side of the screen. Speak to your GP, ask your local community health centre or the beyondblue Directory of Medical and Allied Health Practitioners for relevant services in your local area.