Are you worried about a friend who is suicidal?

Are you here because you are worried about a friend harming themselves or taking their own life?

First of all, good on you for coming here to find out how you can help your friend at what we imagine is probably a highly stressful time for you. If they have told you they are suicidal, you are right to take their threat seriously. Your friend is very lucky to have someone who cares about them so much.

Tell someone – don’t keep it a secret

It is important to contact someone who can help you and who can help your friend keep safe.

Call ‘000’ now if your friend is threatening to kill themselves right now.

Alternatively, if your friend is suicidal but not in immediate danger, it may be helpful to talk with someone such as a counsellor, teacher, or doctor. Another option is to call a helpline such as Lifeline on 13 11 14 (cost of a local call from landline) or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (freecall from landline).

Do you think your friend would be mad if you told someone?

You may be worried about how your friend will react if you do tell someone. It might be helpful to think about it this way: it is better to have your friend alive and annoyed at you (which will probably pass with time) than dead.

Helpful fact sheets

There are a number of fact sheets on Reach Out that might be helpful at this time:

Worried about a friend who is self-harming
If your friend threatens to take their own life
If your friend has taken pills or hurt themselves

Other things you can do now:

Offer your support - it is really important your friend knows that you are there to support them, so that they do not feel so alone.

Ask them to postpone the decision/create a toolkit - your friend may feel like they have to act now, but they can try to postpone that decision. They could also keep a list of other things they can do to distract themselves.

This might include watching a DVD or going to the movies, playing a game, ringing a friend, chatting on msn, doing some exercise, reading a book or listening to music. They can then put this into action when the feeling starts to surface.

Many people report that by postponing a decision to die they found that life did change. They got the support they needed and could move on to a better, happier place.

Remind your friend that thoughts don't need to lead to action - thoughts about taking their life are just thoughts. They do not mean they have to act on them.

No matter how overwhelming they are or how often they have them. They also don't mean that they will always have those thoughts.

Looking after yourself

Even though it is really great that you are helping your friend, it is also really important that you look after yourself at this difficult time.

When you are worried about a friend you might feel stressed or overwhelmed and forget to look after yourself.  It is important that you take care of how you are feeling. Speak to someone you trust, such as a family member, friend or counsellor. You might also want to chat with someone from Lifeline or Kids Helpline to help yourself get through this tough time.

Having time away from your friend can be important and allow you to relax. Make sure you spend some time doing what you enjoy. You may want to play sport, hang out with other friends, listen to music, or go for a walk.

Finally

It's also important to remember that even though you can offer support, you are not responsible for the actions or behaviour of your friend. If they are not willing to help themselves it is not your fault.

Take care,

The Reach Out Crew