Asking someone out

So you’ve found someone you really like and now you just have to work out how to ask them out. Forget all that nonsense about ‘only boys can do the asking’, if you’re interested in a relationship and the other person is too, it shouldn’t matter who makes the first move.

Tips on making the first move

It’s very rare for anyone to be 100% confident when they’re asking someone out on a date, so it’s not uncommon to be seriously nervous. But here are some tips on some of the best ways to approach the first move:

• Avoid starting with the line ‘Will you go out with me’ – This is a very direct question and can put someone in an awkward situation if they’re not sure they’re ready for a relationship. Instead, couch it in more general terms. Ask them if they’re interested in going to see the new movie that just came out or if they want to go check out that cool restaurant that everyone’s talking about. Even just inviting them to join you on a night out with friends might be the best way of getting the ball rolling, as sometimes it's better just to get to know the person before going all one-on-one with them.
• Drop the chat-up lines- You may think you’ve found the winning chat up line, but more often than not, rehearsed lines can make you seem more like a creep than a catch. ‘Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?’ may seem witty when you read it online, but in person it can sometimes result in an embarrassing and awkward silence.
• Be a friend first- Sometimes you need to get to know someone a bit more before jumping into the dating stuff. Show interest in the person that you like and work out whether you like them as a person. If you have a mutual connection, your relationship will develop naturally.
• Beeeee yourself- If you’re crushing on someone big time, the best thing you can do is just be your charming self and not try too hard.
• Don’t be too desperate- Feeling desperate or starting off the conversation with how you can imagine the two of you living in two story house with 6 kids and a Labrador might be a bit too much to start with. Start slowly and then, when you’ve gotten to know each other a bit better, the conversation about what you’re going to name your prospective children might feel a bit less awkward.
• Get a fair read- If you’ve gotten to know each other a bit better and things are looking promising, don’t be afraid to make the first move and ask someone out. At the same time, don’t be afraid to take things slowly. Sometimes relationships take a bit more time to warm up, so don’t rush anything that’s not yet meant to be.

For some more info on relationships and dating, why not check out some fact sheets...

• Serious Relationships (Fact sheet)
• Starting out - do I want a relationship (Fact sheet)
• Single and ready to mingle (Fact sheet)