Being separated from my mum

Reach Out Youth Ambassador Lauren Pinataro talks about the challenges of living in a different state to her mum and what's helping her deal with it.

I never knew that life could be so hard. Being a teenager I always took things like food, money, clothes and everything for granted. That was until I found myself living without my mum. I've lived without my father since I was 12, so I know what it's like to grow up with one parent. But I never even thought for one moment that at such a young age I'd be living without my mum aswell. Neverthelss that's exactly what happened over a year ago.

My mum moved interstate for work while my sisters and I chose to remain at our home in Adelaide mainly because of school and work. This arrangement has been so hard on both our mother and us financially and emotionally. Currently I work full time on a traineeship wage which is extremely hard to live on when you are supporting not only yourself but your sisters aswell. My older sister is on Centrelink Youth Allowance and my little sister does not receive any financial help.

My mum tries to help us out with money but it's difficult. Everyone has problems but I know mum always tries her hardest to support us. With all of the bills, rent etc that my sisters and I are now responsible for we have all matured drastically. We are the providers, the support and the family and sometimes it is very stressful. I feel like as an older sister I need to make sure my younger sister gets what she needs.

Although eventualy when we all have full time jobs everything will settle down and become easier, until then I feel as though I have lost part of my childhood and teenage years. Instead of having fun and spending time with friends I am working full time, doing house work when I come home and spending my money on the household and my little sister. It's a hard situation to be in but my family comes first and I want to do everything in my power to keep then happy and healthy.

I hope to someday be living with my mum again but until then I keep in touch with her via the phone everyday and sometimes she comes down for visits. I miss her so much but I know that she's away from us to work and make a better life for all of us. Even though it's hard to see that now, I know that in the future this will all be for the good of our family.

Are you struggling with feelings about your parent seperation? Why not take a look at some ReachOut fact sheets on the subject...

• Custody issues in family breakups(Fact sheet)
• Family break up(Fact sheet)
• Separation story (Story)