Coping with final exam results

How expectations and pressure affect you

Expectations and pressure may be a positive influence and help to challenge or motivate you to do your best. However, too much pressure to achieve can cause you to burn out. Depending on how much and for how long, expectations might affect you in the following ways:

Psychological effects

• stress or anxiety
• feeling helpless, overwhelmed or powerless
• feeling down or depressed
• feeling guilty
• a sense of failure or low self-esteem.

Social effects

• family Problems - fighting and lack of communication
• problems at school, uni or work - you may not do as well as you can and make choices that are not right for you
• relationship or friendship problems
• overuse of drugs or alcohol.

Physical effects

• not eating well
• not feeling like doing exercise
• not getting enough sleep
• illness - feeling run down and unwell.

Managing expectations and pressure

Part of being an individual, even when you're a part of a group, involves making decisions based on what is best for you. It means taking ownership and responsibility for what you do and how you think. It may be hard to resist expectations, even if you know they are not for you. Here are some suggestions that may help you manage pressure and expectations better:

Talk to someone outside the situation - Talking to someone outside the situation, such as a friend, parent or counsellor can be a great way of expressing your feelings. These people are also well placed to help you identify expectations and help you work out strategies you might use for dealing with them.

Talk to the person setting the unhelpful expectations - Sometimes the person might be unaware of the unhelpful pressure they are putting on you. When you talk to them, it might be helpful to use a phrase such as 'when you treat me like this, then x happens'.

Challenge and reset your expectations - Sometimes it can be helpful to re-think your own expectations. This may help you decide if they achievable for you. A useful question to ask might be 'What would I suggest to a friend in this situation?'

Have a range of options for the future - Sometimes expectations are only focussed on one outcome and if you don't meet it you might feel disappointed or that you have failed. Usually there are a number of ways to achieve a goal. If you can plan to have a couple of strategies for achieving your goals. It may help to talk to someone you trust about what the different strategies might be. This may be a friend, counsellor or family member.

Get some head space/chill out - Sometimes getting some head space and a change of scenery can be helpful - it's important to give yourself permission to do this regularly. This might include going for a walk or listening to your favourite music, reading a book, going to the movies - whatever works for you.

Express your feelings - Writing down your feelings. Keeping a journal, can be a great way of understanding a situation and reducing the power of expectations. It can also help you think about alternative solutions to problems.

Other ways you might express your feelings in a way that won't cause bodily damage to yourself, another person or your computer might include yelling or crying into a pillow, dancing round the room to loud music or punching a pillow.

Look after yourself - Expectations can lead to a lot of stress. It's important to take time out by doing something that you usually enjoy. Even though you might not feel like it or have time, exercising and eating well can help. Getting plenty of sleep can also help.

Exercise helps stimulate hormones, such as endorphin, which help you feel better about yourself and your life. If you haven't done a lot of exercise before, it might be a good idea to start doing something small a couple of times each week, such as a15 minute walk or 2 or 3 laps of a pool. Visiting your GP for a general check up can be a way of making sure there isn't any physical problem.

Avoid drugs and alcohol - Try not to use alcohol or other drugs (including lots of caffeine or other energy boosting drinks) in the hope of feeling better or forgetting expectations and pressure. The feeling is usually temporary and the after effects often make you feel worse.

 Last Reviewed: 21st February 2008