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Depression

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What is depression?

It is normal to feel down or sad at times during your life. If you have had to cope with a stressful event you may need time to grieve and feelings of sadness may last for some time. The term depression is sometimes used to describe feelings of sadness. Depression is also the name for a group of illnesses, which affects the way someone feels and is characterised by a persistent lowering of mood.

When someone is depressed they may feel a range of things including:·

  • feeling hopeless or helpless
  • losing interest in activities they usually enjoy
  • a lack of energy
  • changes in sleeping and eating patterns
  • crying a lot or feeling agitated
  • high use of alcohol or other drugs
  • losing their temper
  • withdrawing from the group
  • headaches or stomach aches
  • feeling empty
  • feeling anxious.

Understanding depression

Sometimes people become depressed in response to something in particular and sometimes depression can occur for no apparent reason. Some of the things that can trigger depression include:

  • a history of depression within the family
  • a stressful event or chain of events such as a family break-up, child abuse, ongoing bullying at school, rape, a death, a relationship break up, family conflict
  • having a baby.

Depression + suicidal thoughts

People experiencing depression may have suicidal thoughts. If you feel like this, it is important you seek help. A family member, teacher, doctor or psychologist may be a good first step.  

If you know someone is having suicidal thoughts, encourage them to seek help. Let them know that if you think they will hurt themself then you will have to tell someone. If they are scared about telling someone else you can offer to go with them for support.

Getting help for depression

 

Lifeline is now online. If you are experiencing a personal crisis, Lifeline can help.

Click here to access crisis support chat now

 

There are a number of things you can do to help you manage your depression. Try to remember that this may take time and there may be good days and not so good ones. For more information about some of the ways to help manage depression you may want to check out the Treatment options for managing depression fact sheet.

 

For other info on depression and how it might effect you, why not check out some more fact sheets and stories...

  • This content was created by Reach Out Australia.
  • Last updated 01 Dec 11

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30 Comments (Page 1 of 9)

jesanne2011

7 days ago

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I feel ashamed of myself.


Most people I know have lost a mother or even a father, which triggered their depression. Most people I know have been psychically and mentally abused by people they love, which triggered their depression. Most people I know have seen death themselves, which triggered their depression. But, not me.

18 days before I was brought into this world, my eldest sister had passed away due to cancer on the brain stem. It was hard to operate, therefore my parents literally had to watch my eldest sister disappear into nothing, but a sweet angel. I wasn't there to witness it, but for some reason, even though I have never met her, I still speak to her as if we've been best friends my whole life. I love her with the whole of my heart, and I tell her everything. I'd do anything to hear her advice, her voice, and reassure me everything will get better in time. But she won't, and she never will. Every day I have to deal with the fact I'll never meet my older sister, and I'll never see her smile, or watch her breathe. 
However, she's always in my heart, whether I've met her or not.

My brother was alive to witness my sister's death. Because of it, he hardly ever saw my parents at the time, and he has also developed depression because of it. He doesn't speak to anybody about his depression. Instead, he turned to drugs as a pain relief. I sometimes wish I could do the same thing, but watching my own mother cry over the fact my brother killing himself with each and every drug encounter he has... I can't seem bring myself to do it. It'll kill my mum and my dad.

Growing up wasn't easy. I was never popular at school, or even complimented as 'beautiful' growing up, so over these past years I had to make myself believe I was beautiful. Sometimes it's still too hard to believe that I am. I don't feel beautiful inside or outside.
Why? Because I had a best friend, who eventually turned into my boyfriend for pretty much three years. Because of stress, and my past, I had taken everything out on him, and attempted suicide a couple of times in front of him too. It killed him up to the point he couldn't be with me anymore. He says he still loves me, but it hurts knowing he's not with me. I've ruined everything. I should have appreciated what I had, but now it's too late. I can't win him back, no matter how much I try, it's finished. Over. Now, I feel finished with. Over. 
I've been sleeping far too much, and eating far too less, but I don't care. I don't care about a lot of things anymore. I hardly move from my bed, and all I ever do is feel like crying.
I self-harm, to help myself stop crying, and I've done things I've regretted.
I need help, but I'm too scared to seek it. 

danielh

26 days ago

Reply Report


Hey Annelle,

Don't give up! Even when it's hard to see it, there's always a reason to fight. Keep it up! :)

It looks like you're already halfway to finding help. The truth is, often there's no 'good reason' for feeling that way - sometimes it's just happens, other times it's as a result of something that you don't even realise has affected you. Regardless of the reason, the point is that it's there, and the fact that you want to do something about it is a very good thing! 

Don't stay silent. At the end of the day, you have to take care of yourself as best as you can. Sometimes that means just walking in and speaking your own words - find them! - and more often than not just saying it your way will be enough to let it all flow out, and your doctor can find a way to help you. Give it your best shot, because you're sure to be glad you did :)

If you're not sure you're ready to talk to someone face to face yet, there are over-the-phone and online options. Try Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Lifeline's online help service (http://www.lifeline.org.au/Find-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat/default.aspx).

Take care of yourself, and feel free to come back and let us know how you go!

Dan.

Annelle

27 days ago

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I just need someone to tell me how to make this better.
I need someone to tell me what to say when I walk in to that doctors office and have no good reason for feeling the way I do.
I don't want to be this way but I  don't feel like there's any other way. I feel spoiled, I feel ruined, I feel like I'll never be truly happy.

I need a script, for life, for what to say and how to be.
I NEED someone to realise something isn't right, I'm tired of fighting a silent battle.
I'm ready to give up but I don't want to. I want to fight, but I have nothing left.

danielh

about 1 month ago

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Hi Bumblebee,


Thanks for the update! I read back a bit and saw your last comment, it's great that you decided to try to talk to your friend about this.

The way she reacted to you seems pretty normal - depression can often cut you off from even those closest to you, and the idea of getting help seems both unnecessary and not worth the effort. Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do yourself to change the way she feels about this. What is important, though, is that you've been there for her and let her know that you care for her. That can go a long way, and sometimes having a friend to cheer her up - even for a little while - can be enough to get her through. 

Be careful not to let how your friend feels take too much of a toll on you. Dealing with a friend who has depression can be quite tiring, especially when you know that the best thing for them is to get the help that they refuse to seek. In the end it's her decision - try to take a step back and let her find that out for herself, so that you both can maintain a good friendship without either of you feeling as if they are being too crowded by the other.

You sound like you've been a great friend to her through this - keep up the good work! :)

Dan.

bumblebee09

about 1 month ago

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So about 4 months ago I came here looking for advice about my friend.
Just thought I'd update. Slow process.
We often talk about everything, so I didn't find it too hard to start te conversation, she really closed off "I don't know" "hmmm" "whatever" "Just tired, late night" was the responses I first got.
I then came back here, read some stories and factsheets. I found other ways to ask without using the term 'depression'. Her mum has it, and she knows a few people that do, some of which she is very close to. I got out of her, that she doesn't want to be 'an attention seeker', and there was some other things she said about talking to someone. "I got myself into this, I can get myself out". One of our teachers put a note to the counsellor worried about her, but then she was all like "this teacher thinks there is something wrong with me, pfft", " this teacher thinks I have depression, haha bitch", I noticed a small pick up around that time, she had said she was fine, it was almost like she had gotten the help she needed. It didn't last all that long, it was a while latter I noticed her not coping too well.
I am pretty sure she is hiding it from everyone, she told me that I have nothing to worry about & she is fine. I believed her, I let her think it was the truth. I haven't mentioned anything since, and sometimes I catch her down, though she puts on an excuse as to why she 'feels tired'. Though I try to cheer her up, even if it be just for that class, I can't do anymore. Not for someone who won't admit she needs help. (:

Randomness

about 1 month ago

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Hi Taaayleee, 

Sounds like you're going through a really tough time at the moment and it's great that you reached out here. 

If you want to talk to people that know and understand, I encourage you to join the ReachOut Forums (click the yellow tab "forum" at the top of the page). It's a really supportive environment, with lots of people who have been through similar experiences to you, and would be happy to talk with you (but remember to check the commenting guidelines). 

I know you've said you have already been to a doctor, but have you tried a counsellor or psychologist just to talk things through? If you'd rather remain anonymous or if it's easier to access, you could try Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Lifeline (13 11 14). Kids Helpline and Headspace also have online counselling which you could check out too. If it's an emergency and you are feeling suicidal and are in immediate danger and need help straight away, call 000. Otherwise if you are distressed at any time and really need someone to talk to right there and then, try one of the helplines I have mentioned. Maybe you could go back to your doctor and tell them how you've been feeling lately and explain to them how you feel like nothing can get you through this, and they may be able to connect you with support networks and find other ways to help you. 

Look after yourself, 
Randomness

Hightower

about 1 month ago

Reply Report

Hey Rosie.
Thank you for your quick reply. Last night, i wasn't feeling to good. So i tried to ring this girl. The first time she answered, i just hung up cause i didn't know what to say. I tried again later. She answered and i tried to speak but had trouble, i had just said her name as she disconnected. This made me feel worse because i just felt hopeless.

I want to speak to her about my pact, but i don't know how she'll take it. She is a nice enough girl but i don't wanna say something and ruin what I've got. My pact affects me because i swore to myself that i wouldn't touch alcohol or even go near the stuff. It holds me back because i want to stay true to my word. i made my pact without really understanding how much it would affect my life. I didn't think it would go this deep, but it has and im just confused. Cause i really love this girl, ive never had a girlfriend, never actually had any interest from girls. So this girl means so much to me and i don't wanna stuff it up just because of my sense of honor.

I'll try to speak to her about it soon. I should really stop been a wuss and just speak to her.......

Taaayleee

about 1 month ago

Reply Report

I realised I had depression when I was 13 years old, I withdrew from friends, I sat alone and cried myself to sleep. I was in year 8 at this time, and I told no one about what I was feeling, so all of it built up until too many things took its toll and I ended up  attempting suicide more than once.

I am now going on to Year 11, my depression sub sided when I went into year 9 but came back twice as strong mid way through this year. Mostly because of my father and because of a boy who I fell in love within year 8 , but he ended up leaving school at the end of this year (he was helping me with my depression). I ended up self harming myself, it started off as something small, btheir got worse as the pain got worse. I still carry around the scars and I'm always tempted to hurt myself again. I've attempted suicide once this year, but I've been tempted numerous times. I told my mum everything, and finally saw a doctor, but I just feel like there is nothing that can help me pass this. At night, I cry and beg for my life to be taken... I just wish that I could talk to someone who knew and understood.

Rosie

about 1 month ago

Reply Report

Hey Depgirl, 


It sounds like you don't know what to feel, or how to express it at the moment. This is OK, and it's not unusual, but it is important that you ry and reach out to your support networks and let them know how you are feeling. If you don't feel comfortable talking to the people you know, try calling KHL (1800 55 1800) and talk to an anonymous counsellor. 

Even explaining to your psychiatris that you don't know how to explain what you are feeling, or that you aren't feeling much at all is a starting point :) 

Take care of yourself, and be sure to hop onto the forums (follow the yellow tab at the top of this page) or read up on coping strategies here if you need more support.

Rosie

about 1 month ago

Reply Report

Hey Hightower,


It's great you've reached out to talk to others about a difficult decision you have to make. Have you been onto the reachout forums? They can be found by following the yellow tab at the top of this page, and will give you access to a big group of young people who are all there to talk through life's many ups and downs with each other!

As for your current dilemma, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, there is just what feels right for you. Do you think that this is a rule that needs to govern your relationships so strongly? How much is alcohol a part of her life? Perhaps there is a way for her to continue living her life, without upsetting you. I think the best thing to do would be to tell her about your pact, and discuss it with her.. she might have some insight on how you can deal with it together :)

It's great that you are giving it so much thought, let us know how you go!

R.

depgirl

about 1 month ago

Reply Report

I don't really know how I'm feeling right now. The last couple of weeks I haven't really felt anything at all. I hurt myself and I don't feel guilt anymore. I haven't cried in a couple of months because I can't. I have seen so many different 'therapists', some on short-term programs after being released from hospital, and others on a longer-term basis. With most either they gave up because time was up or I gave up because it was getting nowhere. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for 6 months, and she hasn't really got anywhere either, she no wants to change her 'angle of attack' so to speak. Someties I just wonder if it's all worth it. I'm not sure it is because when I was actually feeling the depression life was awful, and now I'm not feeling anything, it's almost as bad and it's not really living anyway. As much as I want this to all go away, I think I am scared to get better. I've got no idea how I can get through this anymore. I can't sleep properly because I can't get to sleep, I wake up, and have nightmares. I dont' want to eat because I don't feel like it and don't like the way I am. I can;t tell any of my family that things are this bad because most of them don't understand, and as a consequence of not saying anything my mam keeps saying tht there's nothing psychologically wrong with me. All of this is exhausting, plus I have an undiagnosed condition on top of this. What am I supposed to do? Please help.

Hightower

about 1 month ago

Reply Report

Hi Everyone.
I need some help. Life has been going pretty good for me, of the past year or so. But lately ive been crying so much and just feeling really bad.

I'm with a mental health recovery group and i went on a camp with them not to long ago. There was this girl there, she's quite pretty. We got along pretty well together. Cause we were the youngest ones there, we hung around alot.

After the camp was over, i sent her a letter to thank her for spending that time with me. Cause girls tend to not come anywhere near me, let alone look like they enjoy my presence.
But back to my point, i sent her a letter with a necklace that i made, to show my gratitude towards her. She sent me a letter back. She also put her mobile number in the letter and said that she'd love to hear from me. I sent her a text message later that day. We started chatting and i kinda ended up asking her out. Which is good.

But this thing has been weighing on mind lately and i dont know what to do.
My problem is that a few years ago i made myself a Promise that i would never drink alcohol or date anyone that drinks, because i dont wanna be around the stuff. Yer thats odd for someone my age. (I'm not sure whether i'm allowed to put my age on here, so i'll be vague. im in my late teens. and most people i know around my age drink)

This girl i met has said a few times about drinking. I really really like this girl and would love to take this relationship i have with her further. But when i made that promise to myself, i had full intention of keeping it. Still to this day i have kept true to my word.
But i really love this girl and i dont know what to do. Do i ask her to not drink, so then im not going back on my word. Or do i just end it before it's started. What should i do?

Sophie RO crew

about 1 month ago

Reply Report

Hi isarah...

You have mentioned experiencing emotional abuse for most of your life. This can have big impacts on you and maybe influencing how you are feeling like no one supports you. I really encourage you to check out this fact sheet and this one.

Despite feeling the way you are - you have reached out for help here. That's really impressive and you should be really proud of yourself for that.

If you are not getting the response you need from your family - have you thought about trying a counsellor or someone outside of the situation? You could try one of the numbers on this page.

You could also come and join the very supportive community of young people on the ReachOut.com forums, click here. It is a really welcoming community that help each other out.

Good luck.

isarah

about 1 month ago

Reply Report

I don't know what to do anymore. I can't tell anyone because they all just end up giving up on me. I try mentioning something to my family but they brush it off like its nothing important, like I'm nt important. I've been treated badly most of my life, most of it being verbal abuse. Being used by the ones I loved and being let down by the ones I've trust. 

Why do people get such happiness from other peoples misfortune.. No one seems to care about me anymore, why am I such a fool for giving everyone second chances.. :(

amysd

about 1 month ago

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I self-harm your story really helped me.

 

Moderator edited to remove specifics of self-harm. Please see the commenting guidelines.

Alphabet

about 1 month ago

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Hey Unknown,

I totally can relate to what you are talking about. Depression is crap, it can be so unpredicatable and you never know what mood you will be faced with next or how long it will last.

I also have depression and have had it for several years. At first i could not get help because all my energy was just ocussed on getting through the days and everything was so hard. I guess i hit the point where i realised that it was not working for me and i used online services such as reach out and kids help line to build up that courage to see a gp.

I found the easiest thing to do was to print out this depression fact sheet and hand it to my dr and just simply say that this is my life at the moment.

It takes a while for things to improve but you have nothing to lose, only something to gain. You can get through this and take that hard step of getting some sort of professional help, it can only help you in feeling better.

Take care

unknownn

about 1 month ago

Reply Report

Sophie,
I get so low and I don't know how to control it. I know that there is help out there and everything, I just refuse to go find it or accept it, I don't know why & it's really confusing & annoying me. Yet at times I am feeling so great and laughing and mucking around like I used to, then I crash down quickly, then build up then eventually crash extremely low and find it hard to build back up again. I awake every morning and nothing much is wrong, I'm fine, just over tired and grogy, then I go up & down during the day like a yoyo, but then during night im down as all hell.. I'm trying to find strength to go get help, but I don't have it in me..

Sophie RO crew

2 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Amy, if you need help immediately check out http://au.reachout.com/about/emergency-help to talk to someone.



dabada

2 months ago

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Hey are you ok? what can i do to help?

Amy179

2 months ago

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Help.

Sophie RO crew

2 months ago

Reply Report

Unknownn,
Sounds like your in a really sad place, and that you are really struggling with your feelings, thoughts and moods. Feeling confused like you are can be really hard and it sounds like you feel like no one understands. You have mentioned wanting to disappear and not wanting to continue the type of life that you are having at the moment. Some people that feel this way are also thinking about suicide. If you are thinking of suicide,  remember that thoughts about suicide are just thoughts. They do not mean you have to act on them. Please check out this factsheet now: wanting to end your life.

You do acknowledge that you need help, and you are describing that you are reusing that help again. You have spoken about this before. Hopefully you have found people that do understand here on ReachOut.com, have you watched any of the stores from other young people about their experiences with depression? It's also important to remember that just because someone hasn't been through a similar experience to you doesn't mean they can't empathise with your experience. You just need someone who will listen to you and try to understand.

From what you have acheived on ReachOut.com including the forums so far, you are brave and smart and you need to keep going on your journey. Please check out this factsheet: challenging negative self talk.

Take care

unknownn

2 months ago

Reply Report

I can't do this anymore. I keep struggling with everyday life. & now I'm at another point where I just want it to end - everything to end. To just dissapear from this place, maybe then these terrible feelings, thoughts, moods, will stay here & not follow me?
I'm so confused about everything !
I keep refusing help from anyone. Multiple times this week, my friends have taken to me to a teacher, & I keep saying not to worry, I'm sick of myself. Why wont I accept that I need help or just go get it / accept it? I don't know anymore. I just want to dissappear, I can't find the right balance of anything. I keep ruining friendships, relationships with other peers.I'm being stupid. I cry at pretty much everything - like I have no control over my own emotions. I don't want to continue this f'd up life of mine anymore.... I'm over it. I'm over how stupid, gutless, worthless I am....

Hightower

5 months ago

Reply Report

oh thankyou, i didn't realise.

Hightower

5 months ago

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oh thankyou, i didn't realise.

Megy

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hi Hightower,


You can contact the Reach Out Crew at crew@reachout.com.au. 

Regards,
Megy

Georgie-

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey bumblebee,


Depression or feeling down can happen for a whole range of reasons, and it's definitely possible that for her, family stress is something that is contributing to this. While depression isn't hereditory, genetic factors can be involved, so her mum having depression could also be something adding to this.
There's some more information on the types and causes of depression in this factsheet, which you might like to check out: http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/depression-types-causes-and-symptoms

You might like to head over to the forums, where a lot of cool peeps hang out. It's a really supportive community, and there are heaps of resources on reaching out to friends, helping yourself, calling helplines, as well as lots of cool games and things. We'd love to see you there!
The link to the forums is here:

Remember that there are lots of people you can talk to about your friend, as I pointed out above, and remember to look after yourself too :)

Take care,
Georgie


Hightower

5 months ago

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Hello, can someone from the Reach Out Crew please e-mail me cause i have a question i need to ask. x

bumblebee09

5 months ago

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Randomness & Georgie

thanks for the advice,
is it possible that she is down because of family stress that happened last year start of this year?
and also her mum has depression, could that have soemthing to do with how she is feeling?

Georgie-

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey bumblebee09,


It sounds like your friend might be having a pretty rough time at the moment, but good on you for looking out for her, and wanting to help. It's really important that she has people to support her at the moment, and it sounds like you're a great friend :)

I wonder if you could talk to your friend and she if she'll open up to you about what's going on for her? You could let her know that you're concerned, but that you're there for her, and you want to see her feeling better. You mentioned that you're not sure if she's genuine. I guess sometimes it might seem like it's convenient, but in actual fact it might be that stressful situations are making her feel worse. I think it's definitely a good idea to err on the side of caution, and assume that something's not right, and offer her support to get well again.

It would be really helpful for her to talk to someone who can tell whether she does have depression, and can help treat it. A great place to start is talking to a school counsellor, GP or local health centre like headspace. Maybe you could suggest this to your friend, and offer to go with her if she would like.

If she doesn't feel ready to talk to someone in person, you could suggest online or phone services like Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or eheadspace. They both do web counselling (like instant messaging) which is really great, and lots of people (me included!) have found them really helpful as a first step to getting help.

You might also like to check out this factsheet on helping a friend: 

Helping a friend can be pretty draining, so make sure you look after yourself too. This fact sheet has some great info on keeping yourself happy and healthy while supporting a friend:

Take care, and good on you again for doing such a great job of looking out for your friend.

Georgie

Randomness

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hi bumblebee09, 

Sounds like your a pretty good best friend and that will go a long way to help your friend just by your love and support. Remember that you are her friend and not her counsellor. You cannot do everything for her, but one of the most important things you can do is just to be there for and support her in what is going on. Maybe a good start would be to ask if she has been feeling down lately and ask her why this may be. If she does have depression, it is important she sees a professional about it and you should encourage her to do that. A GP is a good place to go. If you have a school counsellor/psychologist you could suggest she see them. Otherwise you could encourage her to call Kids Helpline or visit a Headspace centre or use KHL or Headspace online counselling. She will probably be really scared about doing this, so you could offer to go with her to see a professional. 

Most of all though, just be a good friend to her. If she does open up about feeling down, encourage her to see a professional. Encourage but don't force. You can tell her why you think it's a good idea, but in the end it's her decision and you cannot make her. 

It sounds like you're a very caring friend, and if you show her this care everyday it will really help her feel better and get on the road to recovery. 

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