Depression - types, causes + symptoms
Depressed mood or depression
Everyone goes through tough times at different points in their lives and feels down or sad. The term depression is sometimes used to describe the normal sadness or low mood people feel if they've had to cope with a stressful event or problem, such as the death of a loved one or a relationship break-up.
Depression is also the name for an illness that is more severe than normal sadness, lasts longer than two weeks, and interferes with other parts of your life, such as work, school or relationships.
What causes depression or a depressed mood?
Sometimes depression or a depressed mood may have no apparent cause and sometimes it may be caused by a number of factors (by themselves or in combination), such as:
- Genetics or a history of depression within your family.
- Biochemical - In normal brain functioning, neurotransmitters (which regulate mood) jump from one nerve cell to the next, with the signal being as strong in the second and subsequent cells as it was in the first. For people who have depression, the mood regulating neurotransmitters fail to function normally, meaning that the signal is either depleted or disrupted before passing on to the next nerve cell, thus resulting in a lowering of your mood. In non-melancholic depression, it's likely that the transmission of serotonin (which improves mood) is reduced or less active, whereas in people with melancholic and psychotic depression, the neurotransmitters noradrenaline and dopamine are more likely to have failed or be functioning abnormally.
- A stressful event or chain of events such as a family break-up, abuse, ongoing bullying at school, rape, a death, a relationship break up, family conflict.
- Personality style - Certain personality types are more at risk of depression than others. This includes people who tend to be anxious, have low self-esteem, are perfectionists or are shy.
- Having a baby (called post-natal depression).
- Other mental illnesses such as schizophrenia.
Symptoms of depression or a depressed mood
People experience depression or a depressed mood in different ways, depending on the type of depression and individual differences. Common symptoms across all types of depression include:
Mood
- feeling sad, moody or crap
- feeling hopeless or helpless
- feeling numb or empty
- feeling anxious
- feeling guilty and blaming yourself
- unable to feel good or enjoy things that you do normally.
Thinking
- being overly self-critical
- believing you can't cope and that things are out of your control
- difficulty making decisions and thinking clearly
- poor concentrating and memory
- thinking about suicide or ending your life.
Behaviour
- lack of motivation and energy
- crying a lot
- losing interest in activities you usually enjoy
- withdrawing from your friends and family or being overly dependent on them
- increased use of alcohol or other drugs
- losing your temper more than usual.
Physical
- loss of appetite or over-eating
- changes in sleep patterns - difficulty getting to sleep, waking up in the middle of the night or sleeping for longer
- headaches or stomach aches
- feeling physically sick
- lack of interest in sex.
Everyone experiences some of these feelings or behaviours from time to time. However, for people experiencing depression the feelings might be more severe and they do not go away over time.
If you are concerned that you are experiencing depression it is a good idea to see your local doctor or a psychologist. They should be able to help you make a diagnosis and provide you with the support for managing your depression.
Types of depression
There are different types of depression, each of them have their own symptoms, causes and treatments.
Non-melancholic depression
Non-melancholic depression (also called major or clinical depression) is the most common type of depression and affects one in four females and one in six males over their lifetime.
Non-melancholic means that the main cause of the depression is psychological factors, not biological factors. This type of depression usually occurs in response to a specific or series of stressful events and usually lifts when the stressful event is resolved or removed, or through learning and developing helpful coping strategies.
Non-melancholic depression can be hard to diagnose because it doesn't have the defining characteristics of other types of depression (such as impaired mental functioning, physical disturbance, or psychotic features).
Symptoms may include:
- A depressed mood or sadness for more than two weeks.
- Loss of pleasure, interest and productivity in most things, including social activities, relationships and work, school or uni.
- Constant low mood over the course of the day.
Non-melancholic depression responds well to different sorts of treatments, including psychotherapies, counselling and antidepressants, depending on the original cause and your personality.
Melancholic depression
Melancholic depression is a more severe depression than non-melancholic depression and is primarily caused by biological factors. It is an uncommon type of depression, affecting only around 1-2% of the population and roughly the same number of males and females. It can occur on its own (unipolar) or as part of bipolar disorder.
Symptoms include:
- slowed or agitated physical movements
- slowed or impaired mental (cognitive) processing, e.g. poor concentration and memory
- insomnia or disrupted of sleep
- loss of appetite and energy
- mood and energy worse in the morning (e.g. extreme difficulty in getting out of bed or leaving the house)
- loss of pleasure, interest and productivity in most things, including social activities, relationships and work, school or uni.
This type of depression responds best to physical treatments, such as antidepressants, and does not usually go away on its own.
Psychotic depression
Psychotic depression is a severe form of depression and is less common than either melancholic or non-melancholic depression.
The defining symptoms are:
- more severely depressed mood than other types of depression
- hallucinations (e.g. hearing voices)
- delusions (e.g. extreme or false beliefs of guilt, shame, poverty or illness)
- more severe psychomotor disturbances.
Psychotic depression does not usually go away on its own. It responds only to physical treatments (such as antidepressant drugs).
Depression + wanting to end your life
For some people, a symptom of depression may include the feeling of wanting to end their life.
If you are feeling suicidal, it's important that you keep yourself safe - check out the Wanting to end your life fact sheet for more information on what you can do to keep yourself safe.
Try to remember that thoughts about taking your life are just thoughts. They do not mean you have to act on them, no matter how overwhelming they are or how often you have them. They also don't mean that you will always have those thoughts.
Everyone goes through tough times and experience times when things seem hopeless. It is possible to get through these times by creating your own 'tool kit' of coping strategies, which you can use when you're feeling suicidal or when you feel a hopeless outlook on life.
If you know someone is having suicidal thoughts, encourage them to seek help. Let them know that if you think they will hurt themself then you will have to tell someone. If they are scared about telling someone else you can offer to go with them for support. Check out the If your friend threatens to take their own life fact sheet for more info.
Getting help for depression
There are a number of things you can do to help you manage your depression. Try to remember that this may take time and there may be good days and not so good days. For more information about some of the ways to help manage depression, you may want to check out the Depression - management and treatment options fact sheet.
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30 Comments (Page 1 of 3)
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sunnygirl
10 months ago
Reply Reportthis is all so true.
part of post edited by moderator - please check guidelines
Edited by moderator 10 months ago
FindingHope
10 months ago
Reply ReportHi sunnygirl,
I'm sorry that you have felt depressed.
There is help out there and things won't be like this forever.
Please try and reach out for help if you need it. Kids Help Line is anonymous and free from a landline on 1800 551 800. Alternatively they also have a chat service online and an emailing service but if you are in crisis, phoning them is quickest and the way to go.
You could also seek help for depression from people like a counsellor or a GP who could refer you to the appropriate help, such as a psychologist.
Take care.
-Cassie
edited by mod in reponse to prior post.
Edited by moderator 10 months ago
Laura1234
9 months ago
Reply ReportHi i got refered to come to this site to seek online help as i would rather not go to anyone in person. so i was wondering how to get to the online help part? because i am having trouble getting to it.
FindingHope
9 months ago
Reply ReportHi Laura,
It's great to hear that people are being directed to Reach Out.
It depends what you are looking for in terms of online help. There are factsheets, like this one, in the 'Find' section. There are also stories submitted by other young people who have gotten through tough times and this is also in the 'Find' section. Stories can help to inspire people and help them to realise they are not alone.
We also have online forums where young people can connect with each other.
http://au.reachout.com/connect/forums
Reach Out is not a service that offers individual counselling so if you need to chat to someone like a counsellor, you can go on the Kids Help Line website where they offer an email counselling service or online chat. You can also call them directly on 1800 551 800.
Take care.
Hutto
7 months ago
Reply ReportLooking at this page I think I may have depression =-(. I've been suspected of having it by my family but of course I said wtf and denied it. I came on this website because I have felt a decline in my body and mind. Thanks for all the information I guess I have to talk to someone about it now.
Take care!
anna
7 months ago
Reply Reporthey guys - opportunitity to be in a study. Sounds quite cool as it is attempting to find a better medication (if that's appropriate in the circumstances) the first time, rather than having to try lots of different ones. More info:
Interested in participating in an international study with Swinburne’s Brain Sciences Institute + Monash Alfred Psychiatry Research Centre?
If you’re experiencing depression, sometimes it can take a while to find the right medication for you.
iSPOT-D is a large international study to find out who will respond to which antidepressant. The principal aim is to get the prescription right the first time.
You may be eligible if you are aged 18–65 and have already been diagnosed or suspect you have depression.
The study involves two testing sessions (4–6 hours each) and seven telephone check-ins within 12 months. You will also provide a blood sample to the researchers and receive treatment from you own doctor.
Participants will be reimbursed for their time. If you are interested call Amy Gibbs at Swinburne’s Brain Sciences Institute on 03 9214 8229, or Tegan Podubinski at Monash Alfred Psychiatry Research Centre on 03 9076 6589.
Ingy
6 months ago
Reply ReportI believe I have melancholic depression - I was diagnosed as clinically depressed, but was for more than 12 months and only improved after finding the right medications - and my question is this:
Roisin - RO Crew
6 months ago
Reply ReportHi Ingy,
Welcome to Reach Out!
I am sorry to hear about your depression and think it is really awesome that you sought help and that your medications helped you:)
It must be a really scary feeling that those depressive thoughts are returning again and once again well done for seeking help.
I think the best advice anyone can give you is to go and see your doctor straight away! It would be irresponsible for anyone who is not familiar with your medical history or what medications you are on to advise you any other way.
If you would like to talk to someone about what you are going through please do not hesitate to call kids help line on 1800 55 1800 or Life line on 13 11 14.
All the Best
Roisin- RO Crew
KID101
6 months ago
Reply ReportHi, I am a 14 year old, female and I have been feeling really crap for a long time now and I don’t think it’s due to hormones, as it started when I was about 9, and I only started puberty at 12yrs. Looking at this page I think I may have psychotic depression. I know it’s really rare so I’m not sure though. Often I feel responsible for bad things that have happen or decisions people make about their life, I hate people worrying about me because I want them to get on with their own life, but they always say I’m a part of their life and I can’t stop them from worrying about me. Other times when I feel responsible and I tell people I do, they look at me like I’m crazy and they don’t understand how I could possibly be responsible. OccasionallyThe kids at school bully me because I cry all the time, and it feels like my friends don’t notice me anymore. It feels like I’m moving in slow motion and I can’t keep up with everyone else. , I came onto this sight by googling ‘symptoms of depression’ please give me some advice, I don’t know what to do, I got referred to a youth worker when I started crying in class for no reason, but I never tell the youth worker anything, I don’t know what to do, I don’t even have enough energy to try to be happy anymore. Please help me,
Edited by moderator 6 months ago
FindingHope
6 months ago
Reply ReportHey KID101,
Welcome to Reach Out. I'm glad you have found Reach Out, it is an awesome site.
I'm sorry that you are having these experiences and been feeling like this for a long time now. Seeing and hearing things must be really distressing for you.
However, depression and other mental illnesses are treatable and you do not have to live this way forever. You can check out this factsheet on treating depression.
Could you try telling the youth worker a bit about what has been going on? Or write it out, like you have here, and give it to him/her? I know it's scary to tell someone what's going on, but they are there to help you. If you don't want to talk to the youth worker, there are others to go to- check out the Who can help you section of the site.
If you need to talk to someone immediately, there is also Kids Help Line (1800 551 800) or Lifeline (13 11 14). Please give them a call if you are in a crisis, they can help.
Take care,
-Cassie
Roisin - RO Crew
6 months ago
Reply ReportHi KID 101,
Welcome to Reach Out!
I am sorry to hear about everything you are going through, it must be really tough.
You have done a very brave thing by comming on here and posting your story and you should be very proud of yourself for taking this massive first step in seeking help.
Well done you :)
I strongly agree with the advice given by Cassie<3 and really think that you need to tell someone about how you are feeling.
If yopu do not feel comfortable talking to you're youth worker then please viist your GP or call Kids Help Line on 1800 55 1800 or Life line on 13 11 14.
I know it can be difficult to open up to people but it is these profesional's jobs to listen and help you , that is what they are there for.
A good place to start may be in the who can help you section of our site (I know Cassie<3 has already recommended this but it's just that good :)
Here is the link again:
http://au.reachout.com/find/getting-help/who-can-help-you
All the Best
Roisin- RO Crew
Mandii
5 months ago
Reply Reporthi im 15 yrs old and i have been feeling really depressed since i was 11. i began cutting myself on my thighs so noone could see it. i hadnt told anyone else about this before my mum found me crying in my room a couple of weeks ago. i told her i had been feeling like this for about a month because i didnt want her blaming herself for not noticing sooner and i also didnt tell her about the cutting. she took me to the doctor and he said that i shouldnt be worried because it has only been happening for a month and i couldnt tell him its been happening for longer because mum was there. im always so tired and if i sleep in i get yelled at because im being lazy. i have started to get up at 6 in the morning but as a result i get tired about 5 in the afternoon which means i miss out on dinner. im so tired of feeling this way on the inside and having to be happy on the outside so noone notices and starts to worry. i want them to live there own lives without having to worry about me all the time. i have seen a couple of councilers but i have only told them a little bit of wats going on because i dont want everyone finding out. im so confused on wat to do please help.
Edited by moderator 5 months ago
FindingHope
5 months ago
Reply ReportHi Mandii,
I'm sorry that you have been feeling depressed and have been self harming for years now.
Could you go back to another doctor and ask to speak to the doctor alone without your mum there? Even though it's hard, it's important to try and be as honest as you can about what's been going on for you so that the doctor is able to get the full picture, rather than just part of it. That way they can determine what's the best way to help you.
It's great that you have been talking to counsellors too. Could you try telling them a bit more about what's going on? Counsellors are meant to keep what you say confidential, unless it is in the situation of 'duty of care.' So it is most likely that it won't happen that everyone will find out what is going on for you.
Please continue to try seeking help, things can get better.
If you need to talk to someone, please also remember there is Kids Help Line on 1800 551 800 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Take care,
-Cassie
Roisin - RO Crew
5 months ago
Reply ReportHi Mandii,
I really am sorry to hear about evrything you have been through and wanted to tell you that I think it is so awesome that you found the courage to speak to you mum about how you are feeling and sought help. Seeking help is not often an easy step to take so you should be really proud of yourself.
Well done you :)
I understand that you do not want to worry your family, but if keeping the full extent of your feelings away from them is stopping you from getting the help you want and need than I think honesty is the best policy. Your counsellors will not be able to give you the best possible help for you if they do not know how you are really feeling. I am not saying that you have to share things that you are not comfortable with but if fear of everyone finding out is the only thing stopping you maybe you could talk to your counsellor about confidentiality at the start of your next session so you know where you stand.
I strongly recomend you take a look at the who can help you section of our site. It has lots of practcal information on all of the different ways you can get help as well as stories written by other young people about thier help seeking experiences. Here is the link:
http://au.reachout.com/find/getting-help/who-can-help-you
If you really do not feel comfortable talking about the way you have been feeling with your family or GP how about giving Kids Help Line a call on 1800 55 1800. The people there are really friendly and are there 24/7 free from a landline. Lifeline is another good number to call on 14 11 13. They cost the same as a local call and are awesome too :)
Have you had a look at our fact sheets on self harm? They have loads of practical advise as well as stories from other young people who have self harmed. Here is the link:
http://au.reachout.com/find/issues/mental-health-difficulties/deliberate-self-harm
I hope some of this information helps :)
Take care
Roisin - RO Crew
Porcelain
4 months ago
Reply ReportHi Mandii,
Marie-Claire
4 months ago
Reply ReportI had depression for 3 years and it went away gradually through last year. i cut my thighs also the whole time and the scars are awful, but i didn't realise someone else must've had the idead to. i've recently been getting those feelings again and crying alot, and i have nightmares everynight so that i wake up almost everyhour. i dream of people dying, or of myself dying, or of being frightened. and i have also been freaking out at the slightest things, my anxiety over everything is driving me mad but i have no idea what to do. i cant talk to my parents because i dont want to worry them, and i dont want them to know about me cutting myself again, but i feel like if i hit the bottom again i won''t come up.
Hi Marie-Claire,
Welcome to Reach Out :)
I am sorry to hear that you have been going through such a tough time and think you should be really proud of yourself for comming on here and reaching out for help. This shows enormous courage so well done you :)
I undersatnd how difficult it can be to open up to people about how you are feeling but you need to remember that your parents care about you and I am sure they would not want you to go through something like this alone.
If you really are uncomfortable talking to your parents about what you are going through why not try talking to your GP. Here is a link to a fact sheet we have with handy tips to keep in mind for your visit:
Local doctor or General Practitioner (GP)
Another great service to contact if you feel like talking about what you are going though is Kids Help Line on 1800 55 1800 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. These services anonymous and available 24/7 and are really freindly:)
Remember you are not alone in this, there are services out there waiting to help you :)
All the Best
Roisin- RO Crew
Edited by moderator 4 months ago
Porcelain
4 months ago
Reply ReportHi Marie-Claire,
Porcelain
4 months ago
Reply ReportI am going to be depressed for the next couple of days, because I have to start my 148 pages of TICCOT AGAIN! I lost all content related to the book. Everyone is going to be so disappointed that they have to wait until December for it to launch. hopefully theyll understand. It took me 4 to 5 months to edit! :( I am so fucking depressed!!! I want my drink & drink my anger away!!! >_<
Courtney The Cop
4 months ago
Reply ReportOllie
cheer up!! :) just because one thing does not go right does not meen that its all going to go wrong. You and only you has the strenght to pull yourself up to be the bigger person :) If anything you seem to have done a good job at keeping yor kool.
i give you my words of advice (my motto in my life) i hope you understand what i meen, and you choose to make light with my words :)
"it is not what we think we see that matters, its what we fail to detect that throws us off course"
Be strong through your hard time and smile!! every moment is worth the fight. You are important too (do not forget that) all the best, cheer up
-Courtney the Cop :)
Porcelain
4 months ago
Reply ReportThanks Courtney the Cop (cool name btw)
Courtney The Cop
4 months ago
Reply Reporthahahaha thanks :) hope ur weekend was great to :)
i think what also is a big deal besides bullying is threats towards people. i hope your ok :)
Porcelain
4 months ago
Reply ReportHey Courts,
Courtney The Cop
4 months ago
Reply Reporthaha true, i fully agree
hmm? i wonder how a pint of happness can be given and what it looks like...Oh i have a great idea on how we can beat bullies!! im still tryin to make it fool proof though :)
and if making us happy meens loving someone then i LOVE the UNIVERSE!
give some love people!!
xxxx (kisses all round) haha :)
Porcelain
4 months ago
Reply ReportHey Courtney the Cop,
Llama
3 months ago
Reply ReportI've had depression for a while. don't really know how long though. It's really getting to me.
Edited by moderator 3 months ago
Llama
3 months ago
Reply Reportmaybe someone can help me. nothing makes me happy anymore..
Porcelain
3 months ago
Reply ReportLoveIsPainAtItsBest
3 months ago
Reply ReportI was debating writing on here :}
A year or so ago, my family was having issues with one of my older brothers, he was being selfish and basically forgetting us and was always with his girlfriends family. I used to hear my mum and him fighting at night and then my mum and dad fighting because they were stressed out and upset. Then they would be taking it out on us, and i would sit there in my room and cry because i felt torn between my brother and them. I was used to having a big family, I have three brothers (all older) and one younger sister, but when the oldest moved out, he was the one i was closest to, we had never had an argument, it felt like our bonds were pulling away, we used to be so close. Then the fighting started with the second oldest, and the conflict tore me apart, I hate conflict so much, any way and shape. It hurts me so much. Then I let myself feel for this boy, and I thought he was feeling for me too, he was acting it, turns out he was just leading me on, he still is even now, but back then i was more vulnerable so i let him hurt me, and i started to be wary of who i trusted. I can't even trust myself, let alone anyone else. A few months later, another boy but this time, I let myself get too close, and get too attatched, because he made me feel happier and i relied on him to keep making me happy. For a few weeks, it was like we were together but we weren't, he made my heart literally thump really hard, but soon enough, what used to be butterflies, turned into quite literally panic attacks over him. I liked him so much, i didnt want to screw up. SO i was worrying over everything, panicking over the smallest things. I would tremble over things he said, and the way his body language came off. I became paranoid, and it affected my sleep, sometimes i convince myself that i can hear or feel things or see them in my room, or i convince myself someone is going to grab me, or that someone is with me or behind me. Constantly afraid of everything, sometimes it is really hard to be alone or to go to bed, because im scared of the night. This started to happen, and i began to have chest pains constantly, and randomly feeling sick all the time, my heart would thump so hard randomly too, even when we were together, it just got worse. I couldnt even speak to him properly, he took away my capability to speak. It was ripping me apart because i know communication is one of the main keys in a relationship. But i was so torn up about trusting and getting hurt, i ended up getting hurt anyway. It ended, and im still left torn and worse than before. I spent some weeks just feeling lifeless, it has been three months, im still not over it, and it wasn't anything big, but the lead up to it, made me feel happy and secure. I don't know if i can trust anyone anymore, besides my dad :) but how can i trust him even when we hardly ever talk?
I now tell myself, 'dont rely on others to make you happy until you know how to make yourself happy.'
I still find it weird for me to say im most likely suffering with the 'd' word, I still find it hard to even say.. wait it isnt most likely, apparently I am. I say apparently, becuase really I just see myself as pathetic. Sometimes i wish i could just slap myself and get over it, apparently it runs in my family, both sides a lot. My dad used to have and sometimes he suffers but i never knew because he was so silent about it. I guess i get that from him, me and him find emotions difficult, and i can never express myself properly without feeling stupid. My mother suffered around my age, she even tried commiting suicide, but only has told me. My dads mother went through lots of abusive partners and my grandma was admitted to a physc hospital for electric shock therapy, but I guess back then that is all they had or rather all they knew how to deal with it. It is somethign to do with our 'happy genes' we dont have many and when going through adolescence it gets to nearly nothing. hhhhh. I've been to the doctor, I have somewhat spoken to my mother to a point, but i couldn't say everything. I found that it was true i had anxiety also explaining my 'panic attacks' i think.. that is what they felt like. I had to get a blood test also, because I had been feeling so exhausted and lifeless, so tired i felt like crying everyday and I actually felt sick twenty four seven. It turns out im extreme low in iron, but that is alright now I'm taking iron supplements.
I thought things were starting to get better, but lately things have been not so great. Im still not over this guy, because he still makes me panic, and lately it feels as if he is batting me around, and just taking me heart out of my ribcage and hiding it. I find myself always writing about him, or thinking about him and what could have been and then it makes me feel worse. I can't help it, but I do, I feel like i should be punishing myself for being so ... me? I don't know, this whole comment is pointless, I just needed to post it so i knew it was off my chest, because trying to be happy and act fine when you are not, is hard. I don't want to bring others down, and i find it stupid of me to be feeling like this. Im still convinced im just beign pathetic. Sorry, i sound so whiney :/
well thanks for listening if anyone did :)
Wow pretty much wrote a essay.
Porcelain
3 months ago
Reply ReportHi there long post (Sorry, it's unsure who is who on here, as names aren't showing) :)
LoveIsPainAtItsBest
3 months ago
Reply ReportHey there, it is long post girl :} aha
Im glad that i somehow helped you with my long rant of a story haha. What is your heart telling you? That is part of the problem, like the onyl way i can describe most of this (bare with me aha) is that I have two people inside of me. One represents my heart and the other is my mind. And then there is me, so really that is three but this isnt maths :} aha so my heart, it wants happiness and wants love and all this, and as soon as i find something that makes me happy, it is like my mind and 'sense of reason' tries tearing me down, I pretty much hack at myself with my worrying and I then end up how i've ended up with this other guy. But part of the problem is, most the time i dont know how i feel or I dont know what I want or have to do, I just never know and always feel clueless in a way. My heart is yearning for him, because he really did make me smile and feel like I have something to smile for, but my mind is warning me, that what if? It is always what if, it is always reminding me of the reality, when my heart just wants to focus on the fantasy.
Lately has been harder, because I had conviced myself that within a few weeks after breaking it off with me, he would forget me and be over it. But to this day, he says he misses hanging out with me, but Im just convincing myself he means as friends, he misses talking to me, and we occasionally talk, it is just hard to be his friend when he takes away my ability to talk. Literally. But the other day he says he misses me in general. And stupid me, I didnt ask exactly what he meant, and so i became confused, and then i was asking what to say and what my friend thought of it all, and she was asking her guy friend so it was from a guys perspective. I was majorly tearing myself up that night, i was shaking and I started to cry, I Never cry, this is a fact, only a few times have i cried, and that is in private most of the time, sometimes i cant cry even whne i want to. He makes my heart beat really fast, even when im not talking to him or if i see him, it is like.. it just randomly happens, Im suddenly aware of my heart beating, like it feels like it is thumping and either going really fast or slow or it is just beating too hard. Sometimes it feels like i cant breathe but I can, just the feeling of lack of air i guess.
But yeah im getting so off topic here aha. So yeah my friend said her guy friend says that it takes a guy a lot to admit he misses someone, but im not sure how he meant that 'he misses me in general' my friend told me to ask, but at that point the conversation went sort of dead between him and I {this is over msn, sad I know}
didnt want to just randomly ask, because i always think too much before i speak to him. Then my friend was telling me I have to tell him what im feeling, everything because he deserves to know, but i just cant, I feel weak, im not strong enough to admit my feelings, and i don't know how to express them. Lots of people have told me to, and I will, even if it is ages from now, I will one day, if he carries on confusing me. It isnt just saying he misses me, it is the way he always looks at me, apparently he always looks or 'stares' as my best friend says, at me when he or i walk past each other. He has started hugging me again, liek hello and goodbye, and that just messes my train of thought up, but i like it... for some reason, mmmm.. so after this majorly long (yet again) essay, the answer is I have no idea to anything. All i know is that I do miss him, I always did even when it was good between us, I always missed him. Always.
And I guess you are right about the family stuff, It just sometimes is hard because I've been so used to us being so close, we used to be so tightly together as a family, and now it just has fizzled. I always feel so much happier when my two brothers come over, even with their girlfriends, because then it feels like a family again :}
Thanks for listening
Libby