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Depression - types, causes + symptoms

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Depressed mood or depression

Everyone goes through tough times at different points in their lives and feels down or sad. The term depression is sometimes used to describe the normal sadness or low mood people feel if they've had to cope with a stressful event or problem, such as the death of a loved one or a relationship break-up.

Depression is also the name for an illness that is more severe than normal sadness, lasts longer than two weeks, and interferes with other parts of your life, such as work, school or relationships.

What causes depression or a depressed mood? 

Sometimes depression or a depressed mood may have no apparent cause and sometimes it may be caused by a number of factors (by themselves or in combination), such as:

  • Genetics or a history of depression within your family. 
  • Biochemical - In normal brain functioning, neurotransmitters (which regulate mood) jump from one nerve cell to the next, with the signal being as strong in the second and subsequent cells as it was in the first. For people who have depression, the mood regulating neurotransmitters fail to function normally, meaning that the signal is either depleted or disrupted before passing on to the next nerve cell, thus resulting in a lowering of your mood. In non-melancholic depression, it's likely that the transmission of serotonin (which improves mood) is reduced or less active, whereas in people with melancholic and psychotic depression, the neurotransmitters noradrenaline and dopamine are more likely to have failed or be functioning abnormally. 
  • A stressful event or chain of events such as a family break-up, abuse, ongoing bullying at school, rape, a death, a relationship break up, family conflict.
  • Personality style - Certain personality types are more at risk of depression than others. This includes people who tend to be anxious, have low self-esteem, are perfectionists or are shy.
  • Having a baby (called post-natal depression).
  • Other mental illnesses such as schizophrenia.

Symptoms of depression or a depressed mood

People experience depression or a depressed mood in different ways, depending on the type of depression and individual differences. Common symptoms across all types of depression include:

Mood

  • feeling sad, moody or crap
  • feeling hopeless or helpless 
  • feeling numb or empty
  • feeling anxious 
  • feeling guilty and blaming yourself
  • unable to feel good or enjoy things that you do normally.

Thinking

  • being overly self-critical
  • believing you can't cope and that things are out of your control
  • difficulty making decisions and thinking clearly
  • poor concentrating and memory
  • thinking about suicide or ending your life.

Behaviour

  • lack of motivation and energy
  • crying a lot
  • losing interest in activities you usually enjoy 
  • withdrawing from your friends and family or being overly dependent on them
  • increased use of alcohol or other drugs
  • losing your temper more than usual.

Physical  

  • loss of appetite or over-eating
  • changes in sleep patterns - difficulty getting to sleep, waking up in the middle of the night or sleeping for longer
  • headaches or stomach aches 
  • feeling physically sick
  • lack of interest in sex.

Everyone experiences some of these feelings or behaviours from time to time. However, for people experiencing depression the feelings might be more severe and they do not go away over time.

If you are concerned that you are experiencing depression it is a good idea to see your local doctor or a psychologist. They should be able to help you make a diagnosis and provide you with the support for managing your depression.

Types of depression

There are different types of depression, each of them have their own symptoms, causes and treatments.

Non-melancholic depression

Non-melancholic depression (also called major or clinical depression) is the most common type of depression and affects one in four females and one in six males over their lifetime.

Non-melancholic means that the main cause of the depression is psychological factors, not biological factors. This type of depression usually occurs in response to a specific or series of stressful events and usually lifts when the stressful event is resolved or removed, or through learning and developing helpful coping strategies.

Non-melancholic depression can be hard to diagnose because it doesn't have the defining characteristics of other types of depression (such as impaired mental functioning, physical disturbance, or psychotic features).

Symptoms may include:

  • A depressed mood or sadness for more than two weeks.
  • Loss of pleasure, interest and productivity in most things, including social activities, relationships and work, school or uni.
  • Constant low mood over the course of the day.

Non-melancholic depression responds well to different sorts of treatments, including psychotherapies, counselling and antidepressants, depending on the original cause and your personality.

Melancholic depression

Melancholic depression is a more severe depression than non-melancholic depression and is primarily caused by biological factors. It is an uncommon type of depression, affecting only around 1-2% of the population and roughly the same number of males and females. It can occur on its own (unipolar) or as part of bipolar disorder.

Symptoms include: 

  • slowed or agitated physical movements 
  • slowed or impaired mental (cognitive) processing, e.g. poor concentration and memory
  • insomnia or disrupted of sleep
  • loss of appetite and energy
  • mood and energy worse in the morning (e.g. extreme difficulty in getting out of bed or leaving the house)
  • loss of pleasure, interest and productivity in most things, including social activities, relationships and work, school or uni. 

This type of depression responds best to physical treatments, such as antidepressants, and does not usually go away on its own.

Psychotic depression

Psychotic depression is a severe form of depression and is less common than either melancholic or non-melancholic depression.

The defining symptoms are:

  • more severely depressed mood than other types of depression
  • hallucinations (e.g. hearing voices) 
  • delusions (e.g. extreme or false beliefs of guilt, shame, poverty or illness)
  • more severe psychomotor disturbances.

Psychotic depression does not usually go away on its own. It responds only to physical treatments (such as antidepressant drugs).

Depression + wanting to end your life 

For some people, a symptom of depression may include the feeling of wanting to end their life.

If you are feeling suicidal, it's important that you keep yourself safe - check out the Wanting to end your life fact sheet for more information on what you can do to keep yourself safe.

Try to remember that thoughts about taking your life are just thoughts. They do not mean you have to act on them, no matter how overwhelming they are or how often you have them. They also don't mean that you will always have those thoughts.

Everyone goes through tough times and experience times when things seem hopeless. It is possible to get through these times by creating your own 'tool kit' of coping strategies, which you can use when you're feeling suicidal or when you feel a hopeless outlook on life. 

If you know someone is having suicidal thoughts, encourage them to seek help. Let them know that if you think they will hurt themself then you will have to tell someone. If they are scared about telling someone else you can offer to go with them for support. Check out the If your friend threatens to take their own life fact sheet for more info.

Getting help for depression

 

Lifeline is now online. If you are experiencing a personal crisis, Lifeline can help.

Click here to access crisis support chat now

 

There are a number of things you can do to help you manage your depression. Try to remember that this may take time and there may be good days and not so good days. For more information about some of the ways to help manage depression, you may want to check out the Depression - management and treatment options fact sheet.

 

Other people have made it through - and you can too! Read stories from other people who have dealt with depression and other mood disorders.

 

  • This content was created by Reach Out Australia.
  • Last updated 18 Oct 11

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30 Comments (Page 1 of 6)

Amber080695

2 months ago

Reply Report

Cassie and bee- 


Firstly Cassie, thanks for writing back to me. I really don't think you understand how much it means to me to know that there is someone out there who maybe cares... Or at least thought about me. I feel really alone right now and so disjointed from reality... Like nothing I say is understood or heard... Kind of like I'm speaking a different language.... It's weird.. I'm gonna check those websites out so thank you for telling me about them. But have you ever heard of something called flight? I'm not sure what it is and the school councelor made an appointment for them to come and see me... I'm kinda scared about it because I feeel like I'm just acting pathetic and stupid and like I'm wasting their time that they could be spending on people who need it more than I do. Thank you so much for hearing my voice. 

And bee, thank you for writing to me. You're right. Crying is good, but I don't think it's good all the time. Mostly I don't have a reason to be so upset and I feel stupid because I know that their are people who are so much worse off than I am and they are happy. So I should be fine, but I just feel lost and so unbelievably selfish for feeling these emotions. 

Thank you both,

- amber 

unknownn

2 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Jess,

(I don't mean to sound rude or anything) but if crying is not a weak thing than why does everyone always make such a fuss out of someone when they are crying?

Thanks Jess,
-Bee

x.jess

2 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Bee,

I reckon you've raised a lot of good points there--showing emotion can be a really good and really positive thing. A lot of people (I know I definitely do) get caught up in the whole crying is weak thing--it's not. I've heard that crying can actually make you feel better because it releases a whole bunch of happy hormones.

Also, a lot of the times, emotions don't always have reasons--they just are. Unfortunately, they sometimes do have a life of their own, so it's important to have a GP or someone you trust to chat to and keep perspective. Friends can be good, and sometimes they don't understand--but you can explain the issue to them. You can tell them a bit about what it's like--when I tell my friends what I'm going through, I often tell them it's like being underwater, or it's like floating--it puts it in more tangible terms, but everyone has a different technique.

I hope this helps, and remember, Bee--it's totally okay to be confused, just always remember that there are people around who you can talk to!

Take care,
Jess (:

unknownn

2 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Amber,

I know how you feel, it's terrible. most of what you say is right down to a key how I feel...

Someone once told me that it was good that I cried, cause I was showing emotion.. I'm not sure what the point was but anyway. & then today I was told by a teacher that she often cried over somethings, & this came from one of the teaches which I thought was the happiest, strongest & most resilient. Again 'm not sure of the point of that exactly so yehh...
But I totally get what you mean by not being able to control your own emotions, & then making things up to try & justify the reason for how your feeling, I know myself I quiet often do that so your not alone on that point.

Also friends can be great for support, but unless they themsel have goen through what you are, they really don't understand.

I hope what I've said helps in any form of way... (rather confused myself about everything right now so yeh...) Bee

Cassie :)

2 months ago

Reply Report

Hi Amber,


It's not pathetic of you to write here at all- in fact it takes courage to share what's going on for you so good on you for that. I read what you wrote and I'm someone :)

The emotions you're feeling sound really tough and it sucks to feel so down and lonely :( When someone has depression there doesn't have to be a reason or a 'big' reason. Being upset and crying doesn't make you pathetic at all. 

I know it may be hard to see this right now, but things don't have to be this way and they can get better. There is help available. Could you go to a GP or school counsellor or an adult you trust? Though it's hard reaching out for help, it is worth it. When I went to my GP, they were able to refer me to a psychologist for help- maybe that can happen for you too. Otherwise there is also Kids Help Line (1800 551 800) with counsellors you can talk to on the phone for free or eheadspace.org.au which offers counselling through an online chat. 

Take care of yourself and I hope you're able to reach out for help. Things can get better.

-Cassie

Amber080695

2 months ago

Reply Report

I feel so pathetic writing on here but I don't know what else to do anymore. I can't cope. I feel so lost and I cry all the time. Mostly for no reason at all, and when I know the reason it's usually that I feel so pathetic and worthless for not being able to control my emotions. It got to the point where I even make things up to try and justify reasons why I might be feeling the way I am. In ways it's good because it makes me feel okay for a little while, but then I just feel so stupid for having to do things like that. Who does that? Sometimes I feel so empty and Emotionally numb, to the point where I get angry at myself for not feeling anything. Sometimes this goes on for days. I tried cutting to make myself feel something. Anything, but that also worked as a relief for those times when I had so much emotion built up that it was overwhelming an I wanted to feel any pain to distract me from the pain that I had inside. I've never felt a hurt like this before and I don't even know why. I tried talking to my best friend, and she listens but I know she doesn't understand, and she can't help so it's not fair to burden her anymore. I know no one will read this and I feel so stupid for doing this, but I don't know what else to do. I was never this person. This isn't me and I don't know how to make this go away. 

gphelps

3 months ago

Reply Report

Hey broken angel,


If you're concerned about yourself it's definitely worth talking to someone about. You don't have to feel this way and you can feel better, and reaching out for help is the first step in getting there. Good on you for finding ReachOut and taking that first step :)

A lot of people find a good place to start it their school counsellor or GP, who can help you work out what exactly is going on for you and what they can do to help support you. It can be a scary experience talking to someone about this kind of thing for the first time, but there's a helpful factsheet about GPs here which might help relieve some of the anxiety :)

If you're not up for talking to someone face to face yet, there's services like Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) and Lifeline (13 11 14) who can be really useful in helping you talk things through and help you find some strategies and skills to manage what is going on for you. They both also have online counselling, as does eheadspace. Headspace centres can be a really good place to start too if you have one near you - they're especially designed for young people and are staffed with doctors, counsellors, social workers etc.

Hopefully that gives you some ideas of places you could get some support... Do you think you'd try any of them?

Take care & let us know how you go!

Gail

broken angel

3 months ago

Reply Report

i think i could have melancholic depression. should i get help?

Randomness

4 months ago

Reply Report

Hey unknownn, 

I know I've written A LOT here but as I was writing I thought of a lot of things to say (I have a habit of writing a lot whatever I'm writing!), and I hope some of it is helpful to you! I've been reading through the comments here and there have been some good ideas suggested. If photography is something you really enjoy then keep doing that when you feel down and it might make you feel better. When you have been feeling down for so long, it's often not an easy thing to stop. You have to find what works for you that makes you feel better, things like photography and other things you enjoy. 

I don't know if you've thought about this, but there might be a reason, something that triggered you to feel down all the time, and this might be an issue you have to address and by looking at the reasons you feel down and dealing with those might help you to feel better. These reasons might be something you need to talk to someone like a counsellor about to help you work through them, and also talk to the counsellor in general how you have been feeling down lately. If you don't know why you are feeling down, then just talking to the counsellor about how you have been feeling down could be helpful. It's great that you've been thinking about talking to someone and I encourage this. You've said you've had a bad experience with a counsellor before. Remember that sometimes a counsellor might just not be the right the person for you, so then you should try a different one to see if they are better. It may take several tries to find the right person. Where you go is up to you. You could find someone through your school, different to the counsellor you already tried. You could also try online or telephone counselling through KHL or Headspace. Like you said, it was good talking to headspace online to get stuff off your chest and it may help you further to talk to them again about how you've been feeling lately and they can talk through effective strategies with you to help you and enable you to deal with things better. Another good place to start is a GP. They can create a mental health plan for you and can connect you with a variety of resources and work through a number of different strategies to find what is most effective for you. I know you keep going to different GPs for physical checkups and stuff but it might be a good idea to settle in with one GP and the next time you go, talk to them about your mental health as well as just your physical health. Health is often considered to be just physical illness, but what many people don't realise is that mental health is an equally important aspect of health and you should attempt to treat this just like you would any physical illness. You said there's a long wait to get into a GP, but waiting and going is better than not going at all. You've been struggling for so long and for your sake it's time something was done about it, and if it takes an extra few weeks to get help, then who cares. At least you're getting help and compared to how long you've been struggling with this, the wait will probably be worth it. 

It's natural not to know what to say and who to ask and how to ask for help, but finding help is the best thing you can do. It's not all stupid not knowing how and lots of people experience the same thing. It's ok to be scared. Most people who go through this when they are finally seeking help feel scared and don't know what to say, and this is totally ok, and the person you talk to will probably expect you to be scared and not knowing what to say because this is a common reaction, so don't worry about that. You don't have to know exactly what to say when you see someone, it's the fact that you're there that's important. The person you talk too will probably ask you questions about how you've been feeling and know ways to help you to be able to talk about what has been going on for you. It's up to you to decide where is the best place for you to go, and I know this can be difficult and confusing knowing the right place but anywhere is a good start. If you see someone at school then that's great, if you use KHL or Headspace then that's good to. If you go to a GP then that could be really helpful because they can connect you with a variety of resources. Remember that if the first person you talk to isn't helpful, then perhaps they just aren't the right person for you, so try someone else. You know best what resources are available in your area and what you have the best access to, so try one of these options. Remember if you don't know what will be best, trying something is better than doing nothing. Don't let fear stop you either. Being scared is normal but talking to someone is probably one of the best things you can do and once you are talking and getting things sorted out, you won't look back. 

I hope some of the stuff I have said here is helpful and hope something works out for you. Be brave and never give up! There's always a light somewhere amidst your darkness. It might be hiding around the corner where you can't see it, but it's still there and just waiting for you to find it and turn it on. 

unknownn

4 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Gail,

im sick of always going downhill, how do i stop it? i should probably talk to a counsellor or someone but i just don't know how... it sounds stupid but i don't,

gphelps

4 months ago

Reply Report

Hey unknownn,


Photography sounds really good! It sounds like you're really enjoying it which is great. Maybe it's worth taking a look back at that page every now & then would be a good idea to jog your memory & get ideas?

It's good to hear that things are feeling alright at the moment - and I think it is normal to be up & down to some extent, but if it's bothering you a lot or you find that you're struggling with everyday life, it's definitely worth chatting to someone about. There are people out there who can help you & you don't deserve to be struggling when you don't have to.

Hang in there :)

Gail - Community Builder.

unknownn

4 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Gail,

I dont know, everything is just so confusing..

I'm not really sure who to tell, i don't want to tell someone who wont be able to support or help me, or who will judge and treat me differently

I used to love drawing and art, but now I don’t, my drawings never come out how I want - and that only makes me feel worse.

I'm getting into photography quiet a lot, I'll take about 100 or so photos then a week or two latter I'll choose another area or feature piece…

Reading through that page has given me a few ideas, some I'll most likely do, and others not so much.

I'm feeling good now, but I know latter on it wont be so. Is it normal to be up and down over the day, like be up and feeling good one minute but then a while latter feel like crap?
wishing things would go back to normal - what ever normal is...

gphelps

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey unknownn,


It's really good that you can acknowledge that feelings don't (and won't) last forever, even if it's hard to reconcile that with what's going on for you at the moment. 

People can be confusing like that, when it's hard to tell whether they care or not. I think generally people do care, but they don't know what to do or how to express that. Other than friends, is there anyone around that you could talk to? I know you haven't had great experiences with your school counsellor, but what about a teacher or another trusted adult? Sometimes it's easier to speak to adults because they seem more reliable & sometimes even more predictable than friends. 

It's good to hear that writing used to make you feel better - at least you know there is something with the possibility of making you feel a bit better, even if it's not working right now. What about some other kind of creative outlet? Sometimes when I'm struggling to find the words to write, it can be helpful to draw or paint (even though I suck at it) just to get some of those feelings out. Do you have any other hobbies or anything that you might be able to do to help distract you or express some of what's going on for you? If you're not sure about what kinds of things you might like doing, there's some examples in the summer care plan here. Obviously not everything will apply to you, but having a read might help prompt some ideas for you. 

What do you think about this stuff? Does you think any of these things would help you?

Remember to look after yourself - that's the most important thing.

Gail - Community Builder

unknownn

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Gail,

i know it doesn't last forever, but i have a feeling that nothing will pick up for a while that i'll be in a constant low mood for ages...

i haven't really told anyone (except one of my friends who has bad depression and other problems), and eveyone else just seems untrusting, like they don't care. im so confused, they'll seem like they care one moment but then they turn around and act as if they dont..

when im down i usually write things down when im down (if im alone otherwise i just space out), it used to be it and i'd feel better by writting it all out, but it doesn't seem to have any effect anymore...

gphelps

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey unknownn,  


I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling so bad at the moment. Sometimes life does just feel like it's a constant struggle, but it's important to remember that no feeling lasts forever. Like you said, just five days ago things felt completely different. I always think about life in terms of mountains & valleys, & as much as the valleys suck when we're in them, we need to get through them in order to experience the next mountain. And usually, we'll come out of a valley with more self awareness & skills & capacity to face the world & our lives.

Have you spoken to anyone about these thoughts & feelings? You said in an earlier post that you've used eheadspace before & that they helps you get some stuff off your chest, is that something you'd consider doing again? It's really important that someone knows what's going on for you - not just so that they can help you out with ideas & strategies, but also so that you're not facing this alone. You say that not many people would care if you disappeared - but they would. There are so many people in this world who care about you & want to be able to help you, it's just sometimes hard to see that when you're stuck at the bottom of a valley.

I know when I'm feeling overwhelmed, it always helps me to take some time out for myself & chill out & remember what is important to me. For me, this usually means taking half an hour or so, grabbing my journal & going outside, & writing a list of things I love & that make me smile. Making an effort to remember the things that I do actually enjoy in life always helps me to balance out the things that I don't enjoy so much. Maybe this is something you could try? Again, this is sometimes hard to do when you're in a negative headspace, but making a conscious effort to focus on the good can sometimes be helpful.

I think that maybe logging onto eheadspace & having a chat to them would be a good idea for you, & they might be able to help you a bit more with ideas for what to do from here. There's some good tips in this factsheet too about how to look after yourself when things feel crap. If you are feeling unsafe or as though you might do something to yourself, please call Lifeline (13 11 14), Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or 000. There are brighter times in life to look forward to - remember that feelings are fluid & they do not last forever. They come & go, & sometimes it sucks but we need to get through the valleys to get to the top of the mountains.

Hang in there, let us know how you are.

Gail - Community Builder

unknownn

5 months ago

Reply Report

and to think 5 days ago life seemed great...

i dont know how to, what to do, im just so over my life being such a struggle... so over it.. just want to disappear ! [not that many would care anyway]
i cannot live like this anymore :(

gphelps

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey unknownn,


It sounds like things are feeling a bit better at the moment which is great! Even though you're not really interested in seeing your school counsellor or gp, remember that you can always use eheadspace or the Kids Helpline online counselling - like you said, they're great for getting stuff off your chest & they can help you with changing the way you think too.

Thanks for letting us know how you are :)

Gail - Community Builder

unknownn

5 months ago

Reply Report

thanks Gail and Randomness,
i have thought of going and seeing the consellor at school, (the old one we had) but i can never rbing myself to, and cause we are linked in with the other govenment high school in town, shes onyl there half the time, so its hit and miss....

i have used the online counselling at headspace before when i was down and it helped to get stuff off my chest :)

and i don't want to go to a gp in town, its almost impossible to get in, and i always go to a different one each time i've needed a check up (physical stuff, not mental issues.. [sounds so insane saying that])

im on a good par now, but i think its cause im slowly changing the way im thinking [most of the time it works]

gphelps

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Laura Jayne,


First of all, good on you for finding us and for reaching out for support :) It's really awesome that you've been able to identify that there might be something going on for you, & that you're interested in getting help with it. 

There's heaps of places you can get support - your GP is always a good place to start, they can help you assess what's going on for you & either start treatment or refer you to someone else who can help you if you decide together that that's the best idea. If you're not up for seeing your doctor just yet, a lot of people start online (like how you've found us here) by using the online counselling services available through KHL or eheadspace. You can also use telephone counselling with Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Lifeline (13 11 14) - they have trained professionals who can talk through what's going on for you & give you some ideas for things to do from here, or link you in with local services that might be able to help you out.

There's some more information experiences of help seeking over in the forums that might give you some ideas about what to expect in seeking help. The forums are a really good way of meeting other people that are having similar experiences too, so feel free to hang around if you're interested :)

Hope to see you in the forums, & good luck with seeking help! Let us know how you go,

Gail - Community Builder.

laura-jayne

5 months ago

Reply Report

I think I may have (Non-melancholic) depression. I have most of these symptom. What should I do to get help? Thanks.

Cassie :)

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey unknownn,


You deserve for what you say to be heard and validated and it's unfortunate your school counsellor wasn't able to offer that. It can take a bit of a search when it comes to counsellors and psychologists- I saw two different school counsellors when I was at school and am currently on my third psychologist. It's not uncommon that people have to try a few people before they find the right one to help them, and that's okay. It's like anything else, for example shoes. Sometimes you have to try on a few before you find the right style and fit.

It's not stupid to be down for no reason. There doesn't have to be a specific reason that people are unhappy or possibly have depression. 

What you're going through isn't 'nothing' and it sounds like things are really tough for you at the moment. I'd encourage you to keep on trying to seek support. Help is out there, whether for big problems or small problems.

Take care,
Cassie

gphelps

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey unknownn,


It sucks when you go to see someone & they don't respond how you expect or in a way that would be helpful. Were you able to talk to your school counsellor about what has been going on for you? I guess one of the hard things with seeing someone is that it's sometimes really difficult to express what we're going through, but it's also hard for the counsellor to understand if we're not able to tell them what's happening for us. For a lot of people it's helpful to write things out so that when they see their school counsellor/doctor/whoever they can just hand over a piece of paper & start from there rather than trying to voice their concerns - would this be something you would consider doing?

There's also other people you can talk to aside from your school counsellor - like Cassie said above, your GP is always a good place to start, or there are services like Kids Helpline & Lifeline that offer free, anonymous counselling - you can also link in with an individual counsellor & continue to have contact with them, rather than speaking to different people every time you call or log on. 

Everyone feels low sometimes, even when there's no easy cause to identify. It's really important that if you're finding it hard to cope with everyday life, you find someone that you can talk to about what's going on for you. It's not stupid - people feel this way all the time. 

Hang in there :)

Gail - Community Builder

unknownn

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Cassie
he pretty much just asked me if i had ever been to a counsellor before then started going on about the school certificate, he was no use (but at the time i didn't believe that there was anything wrong with me), and he just fobbed it off as nothing.
right now, i feel as though life is the lowest its been my whole life, and nothing half stressfull is happening.. i feel so unsure of how i am really.. its so stupid to be down for no reason... just over life..

gphelps

5 months ago

Reply Report

Hey Jennifer101,


It sounds like things haven't been going so well for a while now, but like you said in your comment to el, you are never alone in this & there are always people that you can talk to. Good on you for finding Reachout & for taking the first step in letting someone know what's been going on for you :) It's been a few months since you posted here last when you said that you didn't really feel able to talk to anyone about what was going on for you - did you ever contact Kids Helpline or Lifeline like the others suggested?

KHL & Lifeline are both amazing services that offer free, anonymous counselling. For a lot of young people it's hard to know what to say or where to start, but the people that work for these services are trained in helping you figure out what's going on - & if you're not up for talking about anything 'serious', they're always willing to just chat! There are plenty of people around that care about you & are able and willing to help. Like you said to el, talking absolutely does help. There's some more information on the people you can go to help for here. 

Like Roisin has said to you before, it's important to remember that what you're going through is a real, important experience - it's not weakness and it's not your fault. Depression is serious, & it is VERY good at convincing people that they're 'pathetic & useless', like you said you've been feeling. I think giving either KHL or lifeline would be a really good next step in getting some more help for what's going on for you - & if you're not up for talking on the phone there are also online counselling services available through KHL or eheadspace.

Remember if you are feeling unsafe or like you might take action on some of the suicidal thoughts you've been experiencing, it's really important that you call someone & let them know what is going on for you - whether that's a friend, a family member, one of the services I've talked about, or 000. Suicide is never the answer - things can always get better, even if they feel hopeless at the time. 

Just one more thing - reading your comment I noticed that you've made quite a few negative comments about yourself, which is a really common thing for people that are struggling with their mood. I thought you might like to check out this thread on the forums, it's all about taking the time to recognise our strengths rather than our weaknesses (which are so easy to focus on). There's a heap of other good threads over in the forums around learning to feel better about ourselves, or you can always just hang out with us in the Chatterbox if you want :) Everyone is really supportive & sometimes it's good to know that other people are going through similar experiences, so it'd be great to see you over there!

Hang in there Jennifer101, let us know how you go :)

Gail - Community Builder

Cassie :)

5 months ago

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Hey unknownn,


It sounds like your teacher is looking out for you which is great. Though it certainly can be scary, going to the school counsellor for the first time. I was terrified the first time I was sent to my school counsellor!

How did the visit to the school counsellor go? It's okay if you didn't click with him/her and sometimes unfortunately people may not be as helpful as we'd like them to be. If you may have depression, it can be really good to get help so that you're able to receive the proper support and treatment. A GP is a good place to start- the first point of contact for me was a GP who was able to refer me to the right people. Or if face to face help seems a bit too much for now, there is always Kids Help Line who offer webchat and both Kids Help Line (1800 551 800) and Lifeline (13 11 14) offer phone counselling.

Take care and I hope you're able to keep reaching out for help.

unknownn

5 months ago

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reading this fact sheet makes me think that maybe my teach was right at the start of the year when she sent me to the conselor cause she though i was depressed...
i do have some of the symptoms of melancholic depression...

Randomness

6 months ago

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It is easy to feel alone, but remember that you are never as alone as you think. Although sometimes you can't see it, there is always someone out there that cares! 

rainbowzebras

7 months ago

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I feel so alone...

Jennifer101

5 months ago

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Hi El,
I know exactly how you feel.
I am in the exact same situation, I only harm myself differently,
I know it sounds ridiculous but talking helps.
Although, there is always something that you just can't say, that is the great thing about Reachout.
You can say whatever you want and no one will judge you, and you can get the help you need.
I feel exactly like you do, pathetic and useless.
I hate myself and see no purpose in me living.
Unlike you, part of the reason is to make my family suffer for making my life so miserable. I know it isnt their fault but i can't help but blame you.
I doubt that this has helped,
I am usually quite useless and nothing i say is ever important.
Although, i hope you at least feel that you are not alone any more.
Talk to me anytime you need to,

el

9 months ago

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I don't know whether I have depression or not. I do fit into a lot of those symptoms- A LOT, but I can't tell if it's just me jumping to conclusions? I don't know. I just want an explanation as to why I'm like this.
I get upset every now and then, but then, at times, it can become really overwhelming and everything just feels horrible and I kind of lose the will to live. I don't cut regularly, but I have before. It's kind of a punishment for myself, for being so pathetic. It feels good.
I hate myself, more than anything in this world, and the only reason I've held on for so long is because of my family, and how I know they'd be upset. But what will happen if we ever lose touch, like so many other families? What will I do if my parents or siblings die? They are literally the only things I care about, but I still treat them like dirt, because I don't deserve to be here. I don't know why I do. I don't know why I'm here, I don't have a purpose.
I have a friend who knows some parts of this, but I don't like telling her anything because I know it'd be horrible to get hit with all this information. She can't help anyway, so I don't see the point in upsetting her.
I can't tell my family, because they'd think I was just being a drama queen. Perhaps I am, but I do think about suicide often. Sometimes even get up to go do it, but then end up in tears. I wish I was strong enough to do it, but I can't do that to my family. I wish I never existed so I didn't have to upset anyone in the first place.
It's become an everyday thing just putting up with these depressed moods, and it's ruining my life. I can't think of anyone I can go to who wouldn't judge me, or freak out and tell someone else. I don't want to be a trouble maker. I just want to die :(
I'm useless and pathetic, please help me.

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