Helping a friend with a drinking problem

It may be difficult to know what to do if you are worried about someone's alcohol use. It may be particularly concerning if you think someone you are close to is drinking a lot and not telling you about it. It might be especially difficult if you try speaking to your friend about it, and they deny that it is an issue for them.

This fact sheet contains a few tips for what you can do if you suspect your friend has a drinking problem.

Experimentation with alcohol

It is not uncommon to experiment with alcohol, and drinking alcohol may not necessarily lead to problem use. The first time you drink alcohol, it may be a good idea to try drinking in a safe area, where someone can help you if you drink too much.

If you are concerned about your own or someone's use of alcohol there are a number of things you can do like calmly talk to them about your concerns, getting them to call a helpline or someone they trust. Engaging them in a confrontational way may only alienate them.

Helping someone you think is drinking at a risky level

Helping someone who is not ready to change their behaviour may be difficult and the decision for them to get help is ultimately theirs. Sometimes you may get so concerned over someone else's alcohol consumption that you may not be looking after yourself. It is important that you keep yourself safe. It may be helpful for you to talk to someone you trust about what is going on and how you feel. This may be a family member, teacher, school counsellor or youth worker.

Speaking with an organisation who specialises in alcohol and drug issues and treatment may be helpful for working out how best to approach your concerns. The Alcohol and Drug Information Service (ADIS) or Ted Noffs Foundation provide help and information for those who are using alcohol. Check out the links on the left hand side of the page or the bottom of this fact sheet for info on how to contact them.

If you approach the person you are concerned about there are several things you may want to consider before doing so.

Be informed - It is a good idea to have a general knowledge of some of the reasons for drinking alcohol to excess, and how to drink at a low risk level. By doing this you are more able to stick to the facts when talking with your friend. You may want to check out the DrugInfo Clearinghouse (ADF) website for more information on alcohol. Have a look at this fact sheet for more info on Low risk drinking.

Discuss alcohol issues openly - Letting the person you are concerned about know that you are open to listening to them without being judgmental. This may encourage them to discuss their alcohol use with you. Asking them what they think about the way the media discusses and portrays alcohol use may be a helpful conversation starter. If they know you are open minded on the issue and have thought about your own use they may be more likely to feel comfortable discussing it with you.

Talk about low risk drinking - Give the person you are concerned about information about where they can get information about low risk drinking. You may want to check out the Low risk drinking fact sheet for more information.  Have a look on the lefty hand side of the page for related links and organisations that can help.

What to do if someone says they have a problem

Acknowledging alcohol is a problem may be a big step. If someone has come to you saying they have a problem, you may be able to assist them by finding out what help is available in your local area. Your local doctor, counsellor, hospital, community health centre, Alcohol and Drug Information Service (ADIS - listed at bottom of fact sheet) or youth worker are people who may be able to help. Check out the Yellow Pages, the DepressioNet Healthcare practioners, the Telstra White Pages or the beyondblue Directory of Medical and Allied Health Practitioners for details of these people in your area.

The Who can help you section is a great place to go too.

Looking after yourself

Sometimes it is sensible to seek help and advice yourself if someone's behaviour, due to an alcohol problem, is impacting on your life. You may feel overly anxious or protective of the person with a problem or their behaviour towards you may be threatening or violent.

Remember you can seek support and advice for yourself. A counsellor, doctor or youth worker are people who may be able to help you. Check out the Who can help you section for more information about how they can help.

For contact details for ADIS check out more information below.

More information

Alcohol and Drug Information Service Numbers in each Australian state

NSW
Alcohol and Drug Information Service (ADIS) - 02 9361 8000 OR 1800 422 599

ACT
ADIS - 02 6205 4545

VIC
Direct Line (Drug Advice) - 1800 888 236
Family Drug and Alcohol Help 1300 660 068 or 03 9573 1730

QLD
ADIS - 07 3837 5989 OR 1800 177 833

TAS
ADIS - 1800 811 994 or 03 416 1818

SA
ADIS - 08 8363 8618 OR 1300 131 340

WA
ADIS - 08 9442 5000 OR 1800 198 024

NT
ADIS - 1800 629 683 or Darwin 08 8922 8399 or Alice Springs 08 8951 7580
Amity Community Services - 1800 684 372

DrugInfo Clearinghouse 1300 85 85 84

Family Drug Helpline
This is a Helpline you may want to call if you have a family member with drug problems. They provide education programs, free booklets, support groups and telephone support. Call 1300 660 068 OR National (03) 9573 1780.

Acknowledgement: AER Foundation