How to not talk yourself out of a good time

Going to a party where you hardly know anyone is nerve-wracking for most of us.

But, the good news is, there are some basic and very practical ways to handle it. Plus, it gets easier with practice.

• Goal-directed thinking: Behave and think in ways that will help you achieve your goals for the situation.  Recognise that your current way of thinking might be self-defeating (i.e. it doesn't make you feel good or help you to get what you want). Check out the setting goals factsheet for tips.
• Smile, keep eye contact and be friendly: You are more likely to be friendly to someone who smiles at you, so try it yourself!
• Prepare conversation topics: Thinking about what you might talk about with new people can really help the conversation and minimise any awkward feelings. For example, you might talk about recent movies you've seen, or ask how they know the host.
• Ask questions: Most people love talking about themselves. Armed with some basic open-ended questions, you can't go wrong! - i.e. questions that require more than a yes/no response, such as 'what's your favourite movie and why', 'what was the highlight of your week and why'.
• Go easy on the drugs and alcohol: it's a depressive, it dulls reactions and thinking, and might make you feel out of control and prone to bouts of embarrassing behaviour.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt: They most probably don't think you're a loser...and assume the best of yourself too.