I might be gay, lesbian or bisexual

But what if I don't know for sure?

It can be difficult to know if you are attracted to someone of the same sex; it differs for all people. It could take a while, and there is no need to rush. Some gay, lesbian, or bisexual people say they "felt different" from an early age. They had crushes on friends, but it took a while to think of themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual. As they grew older they realised that those words fitted in with their feelings.

Others don't discover their attractions until later into adolescence and some into adulthood. If you are feeling confused, you are not alone. It is not unusual to feel attracted to someone you are close to or admire, like a close friend, or a great teacher. None of this makes you gay, lesbian or bisexual. You do not need to be sexually active with other people to recognise your sexuality. Your behaviour is guided by your feelings and your emotional and physical attractions. Trust in those feelings and attractions; they will help tell you who you are. One or two experiences with someone of the same sex may not mean you are gay, lesbian or bisexual either - just as one or two experiences with someone of the opposite sex may not mean you are heterosexual.

Sexuality, like many things in life, develops over time. Don't worry if you aren't sure. Being young is a time of figuring out what works for you. Experimentation and exploration are often part of that. Over time you'll find that you are drawn mostly to men or women - or both - and you'll know then.

Remember a label is something you need to feel comfortable with, you don't have to label yourself today or ever, the choice is yours.

More info

Call the Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service in your state or territory:

ACT

Gay and Lesbian Telephone Help Referral and Outreach Bureau (THROB) - 02 6247 2726

QLD

Gay and Lesbian Welfare Association

(07) 3252 2997 (7-10pm)

Toll free (rural areas): 1800 184 527

SA

Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service

(08) 8422 8400 (Mon- Fri 7-10pm, Sat 2-5pm & 7-10pm)

Toll free (rural areas): 1800 182 233

NSW

Gay and Lesbian Line (02) 8594 9596

(5.30pm-10.30pm daily)

Toll free (rural areas): 1800 184 527

VIC

Gay and Lesbian Switchboard (03) 9663 2939

(6-10pm daily, Wed 2-10pm)

Toll free (rural areas): 1800 184 527

WA

Youthline (08) 9486 9855 (Tuesdays 1-4pm)

TAS

Gay and Lesbian Switchboard - 1800 184 527

 

These services are anonymous, and calls to a 1800 number do not appear on a phone bill. You can chat to someone about your feelings and they can answer many of your questions. They can also tell you about support groups and social functions.

Pick up a gay and lesbian newspaper. Every state has gay and lesbian newspapers that will tell you about what's on and how to access support and social groups. There are also national magazines available, some of which you can subscribe to.

Acknowledgements

Text adapted from "You're not alone", a booklet written by the Gay and Lesbian counselling service (WA) and the WA AIDS council under the "Here for Life" sexuality project.