In the classroom

I’m Ariel, and I’m 17 years-old. Growing up, I dealt with a lot of things including severe anxiety and depression. This school year I was excited because I had a wonderful boyfriend and a lot of new cute clothes. My sister, who’s my best friend, also had her first year of high school, and I was excited to share this with her! I had the worst summer, so I was ready to start something new.

As soon as I stepped in my first-hour class for the first time, I started shaking. I figured I was just nervous like everyone else, and I took a seat. Throughout the hour, I caught myself turning my head constantly, looking at everyone around me. I caught myself worrying about throwing up in front of everyone or passing out. I was having a panic attack and my thoughts wouldn’t stop. This happened everyday for two weeks. In every class I’d have racing thoughts, couldn’t understand anything, and I’d be so worried about passing out or having a really bad panic attack and having to leave. Well, one day that did happen, and I left class in tears, heart throbbing for no reason at all. My panic attacks were never triggered by anything. I felt like I wasn’t myself, I’d go home and cry everyday. I was never happy anymore, and I felt like my anxiety was taking over my life. These thoughts never stopped, and they kept me up for hours every night, dreading going back into a classroom. I wanted to leave school, but I didn’t want to disappoint my dad, my sister, my boyfriend, my friends, teachers, anyone.

I sat down and talked to my boyfriend, who is also my best friend. We talked about me not going to school over the summer because my anxiety seemed to have gotten worse, but I said I’d give it a go for him and my sister. But after school had started, I told him I didn’t think I could do it anymore. I had this same talk with my mom. She told me something I will always remember: Do what makes YOU happy, not anyone else. Not my dad, sister, boyfriend, classmates, anybody. Sometimes you just need to do what’s right for YOU. You can always finish school on your own time when you’re more mentally stable. You need to make yourself happy sometimes, and that was something I had forgotten about. I left school with the support of my boyfriend and loved ones.

I went from having constant anxiety and panic attacks to barely having any. I plan on working on my education in the future, but when it’s right for ME. I am so much happier, and I’m so glad I put myself first for once. And talking to my loved ones and knowing I had their support helped a lot.

For more stories or fact sheets about difficulties at school, why not check out some of these links...

• Going back to school after the holidays(Fact sheet)
• Starting at a new school(Fact sheet)
• Back To School (Story)