Listen and learn, please

Youth Ambassador Tim writes about an experience that changed his life.

This story begins in year 11. I was becoming an increasingly bad student and got into smoking pot and skipping school more and more. When I was there, I would be disruptive or muck up someway. I didn't really care about anything. I was just cruising through school, hanging out with more and more people who were against school and always up for drugs, having a good time and especially at the expense at others. Looking back now, I find it hard now to picture what I was like. I had no idea about who I really was, what I was doing here and where I was going. I didn't care about life at all and I didn't think I had anything to live for at all.

Someone upstairs must have been looking out for me because on the 21st December, 2001, I was invited up to get drunk at a beach in Terrigal with my girlfriend's friends from her school. We planned to pass out on the beach and come home the next morning. I knew my Mum wouldn't let me go, so I lied to her giving her fake details of where we'd be.

Everything was running smoothly, my girlfriend picked me up in her newly bought car, I stole alcohol for her and I at the bottle shop (almost getting hit by a car as I did the runner), we got to our  secluded beach, got pissed and had our fun. As the night went on, the others were having heaps of fun and I wasn't really part of the group so I decided to walk back to my girlfriend's car to sleep. From what I remember, I must have been ridiculously drunk. I have only vague memories of what happened next.

I got into the front seat of the car, not the back. I was bored so I turned on the radio. I wasn't really that tired, so I decided to see what her engine sounded like. I revved it a bit and thought; 'Hey, I am a great driver, I will just reverse the car'. 'Okay, I will just do this one three point turn and I will go to sleep'. 'Oh, I will just drive the car down the street and back'. 'Oh, I am such a good driver, jeez I am driving well considering I drank a whole bottle of Bacardi, I mustn't be that drunk'. I drove 'rally style' up and down the street as fast as I could. The second time I came back up the street, there was a cul-de-sac, so I had to turn around. I was going about 70km/h and tried to do a three point turn. I went to put my foot on the brake but hit the accelerator and smashed the car into the front of a house.

It turned out I wrote off the car, lost my girlfriend, spent the night in Gosford Police Station, after being fingerprinted and got kicked out at 6am to find my own way home. After I had told my parents and received some massive disciplining, I had to go to court. I don't think it would have gone as smoothly if both my divorced parents and my best mate had of been there. To this day I am so very thankful for them all being there despite them being more disappointed in me than ever before. 

What changed me for good was what happened after the crash. After going to court once, it was recommended I attend a 7 week 'Traffic Offender's Program'. Each week we had to complete assignments about what had been taught. One week we had an ambulance officer come in and present a video of actual crashes, as the emergency services arrived. I won't go into the shocking and gory details but, it sure worked imprinted on me because the footage has stuck in my mind ever since. Every time I get into a car, especially a friends car, I get a bit anxious and nervous.

I am thankful that this happened, and that I am here now telling you about it. I was heading down a path of drugs, self-destruction and possibly death. I woke up to the world and who I really was. I am a real person with emotions, feelings, values, beliefs and dreams. What is best is I have a reason to live. I live for life itself and how great it really is.

I was forced to rebuild my life from the ground up. I had to regain my parent's trust and respect. This experience may appear to be negative, but that had to be the biggest learning experience of my life and has defined me forever. I am so happy for who I am now and where I am going. I know now that life is about learning and you learn so much from your mistakes. I wouldn't have chosen this experience if I had the choice, but that is what it took to shake me into reality. Now that it has happened, I wouldn't change a thing. But take it from me, save yourself the pain my family and I went through.

Listen and learn, please.

Making mistakes isn't necessarily a bad thing, if we use them to learn and grow. Check out some of the other stories and resources about this on ReachOut.com

• Drink driving (Fact sheet)
• Finding yourself (Video story)
• Rollercoasting (Story)