Living with diabetes

By: Young Person

He looked at me and smiled, the way adults do when they have to say something you don't want to hear.

"Remember we took some test yesterday?" I nodded.

"Well, what we found when we did those is that you have what is known as diabetes." I nodded again, less enthusiastically.

"So were going to show you how to manage it from now on so that you can spend as little time as possible in hospital." I stopped nodding.

At first I didn't believe it, and thought that after a few days in hospital the diabetes would go away, like a cold and I'd be better. But after a few days when it didn't go away I began to realise that it was actually going to hang around. I responded by being angry with everyone who wasn't diabetic, I felt like it was one big conspiracy and that all the doctors where out to get me.

In hospital I started learning about how to take the insulin, about how to change my diet and about what to expect as a diabetic. But when I got home I had to look after myself, and that's when it got scary. I felt like I had been thrown back into the world and told to fend for myself or this big horrible monster called diabetes would get me.

The medication made me dizzy and my skin always felt dry and tight, my eyes always stung and I gained a lot of weight. It felt like everywhere I went people could tell I was medically different, and they would whisper to each other "Where is that girl, you know, the diabetic"

The only way I could feel in control was to learn about the disease and how to look after myself. I was still shy about my disease and when I wanted to talk to a doctor, I used to ring up the medical centre and pretend I was doing a school project on diabetes. But my doctor saw straight through it and let me ask what I needed without making me uncomfortable. Luckily my Uncle is also diabetic and when my mother told him about me he offered to answer any questions and to talk if I needed it. And I did need it. So I rang him and asked him everything I could think of. He gave me a list of books to read and I found them in the library and did my own research.

In learning about diabetes I was able to make choices for myself, and I grew to accept it. I could understand what was happening to me and it wasn't as scary. Learning the facts meant that I stoped jumping to conclusions, and I also realised that from the outside there is no way anyone could know unless I told them. I became more confident and when I needed to see a doctor I wasn't intimidated by the medical jargon.

Now it's something I take in my stride, I'm just a normal person whose body needs a bit of help to do its job.