My battle with chronic pain

My name is Sarah, I am 14 years old and I have chronic pain.

It all started when I was 6 and I always got pain but I didn’t know any different so I didn’t say anything. I thought that everyone else was getting the same pain as me and they weren’t saying anything so I just had to deal with it. Every year the pain got worse until October last year when I was admitted in to hospital. I was in a wheel chair and couldn’t walk. I was told by all my doctors to stay in bed and not move but it was extremely hard. I tried standing up every now and then but always fell back down because the pain was too great.

Every day I was going in for new testings and getting all different types of medication that had the worst side effects like depression, memory loss and weight gain. The hardest part of it all was the depression; not that I couldn’t walk or that I hadn’t seen my friends in months. I used to be the bubbliest and happiest person you would ever meet but then when I went in to hospital I got depressed. I didn’t sleep for weeks and spent half the time crying because of how much pain I was in. The doctors never gave me any straight forward answer and my condition left them with more questions than solutions. Some doctors said that I would never walk again and that I would be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life. At that point it was so hard to see a positive side and all my hope was quickly fading away.

All my hopes to make it as a professional singer were gone; I mean who would want to hire a girl in a wheel chair? I thought that this was the thing that was going to ruin my life and it didn’t even have a name. I hated being stuck in a tiny hospital room but every time I went out everyone was staring at me. How did I go from being able to go anywhere and no one even giving me a second glance, to everyone staring at me now that I’m in a wheelchair? I felt alone and like I would never have a normal life. My parents were there the whole time with me, which definitely did make it easier, but I still had no answer; I was exhausted and just wanted to curl up in a ball and shut everyone out. By then I was constantly in and out of hospital but still no one knew what was wrong.

Finally, the doctors settled on the cause of my pain and  I was diagnosed with hypermobility syndrome. After that, I was in placed in 2 week rehab program to help me get mobile. While I was there I met a girl who had a similar condition to mine, but she had it for a lot longer than me. We became fast friends and would stay up till the early hours of the morning talking. She was truly inspirational. Eventually, I was finally able to get out of the wheel chair and my new friend was teaching me how to be happy with myself. She kept reinforcing that my condition was an obstacle not a limit. She taught me that life isn’t going to be perfect and that’s ok, we just work with what we have.

I am now out of hospital and well on my way to recovery. I can walk and even run now, which a year ago I never even thought was possible. I don’t believe I would have made it were I am today without my friend. Sometimes all you need is a friend to talk to and help you get back on your feet again.

For more information on coping with a chronic illness, why not check out some more ReachOut.com fact sheets and stories...

• Chronic illness(Fact sheet)
• Living with a chronic illness forum discussion (Forum discussion)
• I'm No Longer A Victim (Story)