Nervousness in Music Exams

By: Emily

Uncontrollable fingers

I awoke with a great fear. Today was the day of my Grade 7 Music exam. I remember it so well, then again how could I forget. In my last lesson before the exam, I had gone blank. My fingers just became little demons with lives of their own banging on the keyboard. My teacher was angry, telling me I hadn't been practising. I was disappointed, because I knew it wasn't true.

After that, I kept practising non stop, over and over, for hours. I was half dead, and feeling really bad. When I arrived at the exam building, I saw some little kids learning to play "Mary had a little lamb" . There, I remembered the reason why I had started organ lessons- to enjoy the music, and play cool songs. After twelve years, I had already well accomplished that goal.

Walking in the doors felt like walking into a morgue. There were other candidates waiting, and none said a word. Everyone was looking at their pieces intently. The wait was long, nerve-wracking and awfully quiet. Then the door opened and a man with a beard poked his head out and called my name. I could have imagined it was a doctor's surgery. The door closed and I was trapped. The room became a blur. The fluorescent lighting made the white keys seem unbearably bright.

I played four scales and my pieces. My fingers sped out of control, going really really fast. I didn't even try to control them. I was too tired. In the middle of these arpeggios, I heard a loud, "Hey!" I leaped from the stool, my hands quaking with fear. For one wild moment, I thought the examiner was going to kill me. I was really thinking illogically. The exam had made me go mental- that happens to everyone sometimes.

That was the end. I left the room.

I was still agitated afterwards. I couldn't calm myself down. All night my fingers convulsed in the rhythm of the arpeggios and the pieces played in my head. It played in different keys and at different tempos. I knew I'd screwed up bad.

Eventually I got out the old keyboard in my bedroom and began to play. I let my fingers dance about on it. This time they do not only hit the correct notes, but they hit them with style. I was enjoying this. I relaxed, imagining there was a huge audience of familiar and encouraging faces. I felt fully relaxed for the first time in days. In my head the exam faded into nothingness, for I already knew I could play well.