Learning to reach out

By: Young Person

Sometimes things get tough in my life... as they do in everyones at some point or another. When things get really tough, I have a habit of digging my heels in and proclaiming independence... all I want to do is go it alone... "I am not weak - I don't need others in my head shouts at me... but I have found that sometimes its important to not to go it alone.

I have a habit of hiding. When things get tough, I hide from the people I care about so that I don't hurt them, or burden them, or something... I don't want my stuff causing them to feel bad... so its just easier to hide from it all, from all the pressures and stressors of people... and somehow it seems the safe option.

I suppose I have always seen myself as a burden for some reason. I was the youngest in the household, the one needing care and attention when others really needed it more ... so I got good at just being me... not being helped by anyone, keeping things to myself, not talking, just dealing with things independently. I just didn't want to hurt them.

I am starting to learn that when you are really down, or your life just goes crazy, its sometimes important to reach out to understanding people even when its easier just to distance yourself and hide. I have a couple of people I can reach out to, and I know that they have people they in turn can talk to about things. Sometimes it is more comforting for these people if I honestly tell them what is going on, than if I just hide from them entirely.

To me the whole "not going it alone" thingy is a real challenge, but learning to let people know what is really going on helps to keep me safe and helps decrease the loneliness that goes along with the self imposed isolation of going it alone... and understanding people can help me through those really really tough times when it seems nothing is going to.

For more tips on how you can reach out to family and friends, why not browse through some of our fact sheets and stories...

• Guy talk: How to support a friend in need(Fact sheet)
• Support from friends + family(Fact sheet)
• My call for help(Story)