Overcoming physical isolation

Hi aejk,

Hi everyone,

I am so glad that I found reachout. I am a socially isolated person, the trouble with me is that I want to meet new people at school (I'm 16 years old) but I am not the sort of person that gets really, really nervous and sort of stressed when trying to make new friends. It also does not help that I live on a mountain (about 40min drive into the nearest suburb) and am physically isolated as well as socially.

Another problem with the distance from home to any commercial buisness is that I can't get a first job as my parents would have to drive me all the way there and back frequently. I know for a fact that that will cause big problems at some point. Unfortunately I dont want to leave getting a job too late otherwise in the future employers will not be impressed if someone my age (in the future) has no work experience. But on the other side of the argument I am nearly terrorfied of having more responsibility in my life as I have my plate full with with school work, worrying about my family and my OCD. I guess this is just how life is, still if anyone out there had advise for me I would be thankfull to hear it.

As I said, reachout is an amazing site and it is very comforting to know that I am not alone with all of my problems.

Hi I am socially isolated......As I am very choosy on  who I let been near me, as I have met nasty predators out their taking advantage of my setbacks and that I did not like at all!

I only open too family and a buddy who has been scanned by my parents as decent good willed and caring . As my parents say, if they don't pass the test of time, they will not come near me at all my decree and my parent's decree.

I spend most my time alone until I meet my buddy again. As I do not trust other people as far as I can kick them. I had alot turma whist younger and it wreaked me mentally, that is why I am stuck on those Psych meds in the first place!!!! There is so much mental pain a brain can take until it break down, the  question of how and when!

Hey, Uh im kinda knew to this 'reach out' thing but iv been recomended by many people to try it out. anyways, lately ive been been feeling very lonely. i dnt know y, i mean im a very sociable person and im friends with pretty much everyone in my year at skool n im not old enough to get a job, bt i jst feel like i dnt have my 'special' friend to myself that i can tell EVERYTHING 2. i thort i did, bt shes jst changing a lot now, n i do hav other friends bt they can get a bit too much to handle at times!!! so uh, anyone got any ideas of how i can stop feeling so lonely?

Hi there,

I just wanted to say what a great job i think RO are doing here in helping people in need.

I guess i'm one of these people although i like to think my problems are not that serious in the grand scheme of things. I feel isolated alot of the time and occasionally feel a bit depressed about it.
I know I've got great family and friends around me but i have trouble opening up to people and making new friends. I stick to myself at university and tend to keep my feelings bottled up.

Because I'm an introverted person I find it challenging to talk to people about how I'm feeling and I know this is affecting me and my well being as well as my family.

I like to think i've taken a step in the right direction towards being a happier person by joining this site and seeing that i'm not the only one and there are people that have been through worse then me.

Thankyou so much for your help, I'm trying to sort things out in a positive way!

Hi there friends333,

 It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. Communicating and getting along with our familys can be a challenge for all of us at times. I suggest that you have a look at some of our fact sheets with great tips on how to talk to and get along better with your family: http://au.reachout.com/find/issues/family-friends-relationships/communication

This fact sheet is also really handy and has some great tips on how to manage anger in a healthy way: http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/anger

If you think you may have depression then you need to speak to somebody about it. Speaking to someone will help you organise your thoughts, get things into perspective and release tension. A professional will be able to help you come up with strategies to help you work through everything you are experiencing.

A really good place to start is your GP or school counsellor, they are specially trained to deal with a wider range of issues. Here are some fact sheets with some more info about going to see your GP or school counsellor: http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/local-doctor-or-general-practitioner-gp, http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/school-counsellors

If you don't feel up to speaking to someone face to face why not try kids help line on 1800 55 1800. Thier services are 100% confidential and anonymous and they are super freindly and happy to chat about any issue no matter how big or small it may seem. So why not give them a go? calls are free from a land line or pay phone :) They also have web and email counselling here: http://www.kidshelp.com.au/teens/http://www.kidshelp.com.au/teens/

Keep reaching out

Roisin - RO Crew

I feel lonley and detached all the time when I'm around my family. Theres nothing to say to them, nothing to connect with. Sometimes i feel so frustrated i just want to yell and scream. Its like I'm not there at all and it drives me insane. I get so angry but I dont say anything and I just keep getting more annoyed and frustrated all the time and no one even looks at me twice. I feel really lonley and depressed and have no idea what to do!

tinkerbelle im going thru the same exact thing man so true wt sylvia plath wrote its just like living under a bell jar

When I'm at uni, I'm fine even if I'm a half hour bus trip away from the CBD. At least there IS a bus timetable that runs every hour.
When I'm home, it's different and I feel alone even when with my mum and my sister, they drive me up the wall, my mum treats me like a kid, my younger sister treats me like shit even though my mum has lectured her before about how fragile I can be.
being at home in this town just leaves me feeling cut off from all my friends, I just wanna leave home and go live in a slightly bigger town where I can actually get a job, where I can actually have some sort of social life, just so sick of my mum criticising me for not wanting to drive, I choose not to drive because she get's nervous when I do and that makes me nervous and I'm more likely to stuff up, she criticises me for not going out and getting a job.. not like there's a lot available for me here.
when I hear people from the next town over complaining about that town being a hole I think "you're luckier than you think you are, at least you can walk to a friends place" or I might think "yeah well at least you don't live in my home town, that shit is depressing".
Isolation makes me feel emo and makes me rage a little bit

Hey everyone.

The online discussion/ info bus on isolation that I mentioned above has been prosponed.  I will post here when we have a set date.

Sorry for any inconvienience

Roisin - RO Crew

Hey lula,

There is no such thing as being too old for ReachOut.com.  Our information is targeted at young peple aged 14- 25, so not all of it will be relevant to you.  However the issues we adderess are issues that effect all age groups and you are more than welcome to use the site.

There are similar site to reachout.com that are specifically aimmed at adults, maybe you would like to check these out too.  Here is a link to a directory of e-health services from beyond blue, it has allot of very worthwhile links: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=107.1203

All the best
Roisin - RO Crew

hey-lost in life,

Your not alone and i really can relate to your question about gaining self confidence! I think if you can work up the courage to step out of your comfort zone, even in the smallest of ways then that is a big step forward. Feel good about doing that and, when your ready then take another step, i know its really hard but you will get more confidence - bit by bit and feel better about yourself. Try being nicer to U and focus on the positive's. Your obviously intelligent, so think of all the good qualities you have.

All the Best of luck to you and dont be so hard on yourself  lost in life!!

P.S. I'd like to know how old is too old to join in the forums etc...  I do feel welcome to comment and I feel like a "young person" and im not old - but "older" , i'm experiencing many similar issues in my life as others who comment. It helps me 'big time' and i log on to RO nearly every morning.
 I'd like to say i think you guys are obviously helping lots of people and its great for many of us who dont have anyone to speak to who would understand  just where were at.  :)

Hey there lost in life.

Welcome to RO :)

RO is a peer support community for young people going through a toughh time.  There are heaps more convos going on in our forums here: http://forums.reachout.com/

I really am sorry to hear about how lonley you feel, I it would be a good idea to talk to some one about it, like a school counsellor or Kids help line on 1800 55 1800.  These professionals are really freindly and will work with you to help you work out why you feel so lonley and help you come up with strategies and things you can do so that you do not have to feel this way any more  :)

If you feel like your confidence or self esteem is a factor in why you feel so lonley why not check out these fact sheets with information and easy tips and steps you can take to work on getting more confidence.  Here are the links: http://au.reachout.com/find/getting-help/help-yourself.

Also it would be awesome if logged in for our online conversation about isolation that we are having in the forums on the 9th of December.  This is a conversation that will be run by a psycologist with other young people about tips for overcomming isolation.  even if you are not feeling up to commenting you should totally come along and read the ideas that everyone come up with.  It starts at 8.30 WAtime (10.30 AEST)

Hope to see you there and in the forums :)

Take care
Roisin - RO Crew

To be completely honest i have no idea how this reach out website thing works. Am i allowed to just post random comments about how i feel anywhere on this website and hope that somebody can answer my cry for help?

I’m lonely. I don’t know why. I don’t know how.  I have family around me all the time, but yet i still find time to feel alone.  I know how to make friends I have read all comments about joining groups and meeting new people. That’s easy said than done. I have very little self confidence and often stand around with my head facing the ground when new people speak to me.

I guess my question is, is confidence the key to killing my loneliness? And if it is how do you gain confidence in yourself??

I've just joined up with you guy's and its "great" to read that i'm not alone. I totally isolated myself for about 6 yr's and it was hell.

It is a long road back. I did the gographical and moved to get away from the drugs. Sure, i've been clean now for 11yr's, 5 yrs ago i moved back to Melb but i find myself falling into the same old traps of isolating myself, only cause i dont know where to go - socially. I go through stages, some days i feel strong and others not so strong, At times i just dont feel safe enough to get 'out there'.

I'd like to say i think RO is GREAT and i want to check out this info bus, once i find out how to find it! ha

Its just so so good to NOT feel like im alone. Thanx for listening.

Peace

this reachout site is amazing... i live in darwin with my dad... my sisters used to live here as well but they got sick of how we were living. i've been feeling alone ever since mum left when i was around ten but i couldn't express what it was that i felt, i just thought it was just anxiety over school or not wanting to let either parent down when they needed me... which seems to happen alot. i just wanted to say thankyou to whoever got the ball rolling to make this site. i now feel that i have somewhere to express what i feel without people thinking i'm joking, or without being joked about. and i wanna say i love you guys and girls, the helpers and the people who need help. i know for sure that i'm not the only one with these feeling building up inside me.

Hey Tammiie

Re: "How can people be so alone in a world when it is filled with over 6 billion souls?"

I love that quote Ollie! 

"How can people be so alone in a world when it is filled with over 6 billion souls?"

Hi Tina,
 
I am sorry to hear that things with KLH arent working out for you but It is important that you speak to someone about how you are feeling.  There are loads of services out there that can help you. I stongly suggest that you take a look at the who can help you  section of our site here:

http://au.reachout.com/find/getting-help/who-can-help-you 

It has lot's of information about how to get the best possible help to suit your individual needs. It's really worth a read.  Remember if you do feel like talking to someone about what you are goin through why not try lifeline on 13 11 14, they are really freindly and you can call anytime 24/7.

 
I'm so excited to hear that you are thinking about joining in our forums.  If you are unsure of where to start why not pop in and say hi in the introduction section here:
http://au.reachout.com/connect/forums/welcome-housekeeping/introduction-space

Or you could check out our most popular thread here:
http://au.reachout.com/community/forums/chatterbox?page=4

The young people in there are really freindly and supportive :)
 
Take Care
 
Roisin RO Crew.

Roisin thanks alot for replying to me ... coz i need alot of help right now ... ive tryed ringing khl again to speak to superviser n none is available ... and ive sent 3 emails for someone to get bk to me and noone has......  :(  thinking ill give up ....... theyve messed my head up alot... even singing lessons ive started doing is being effected .. i was 10 mins into the lesson n i started crying and couldnt continue ......   i will check out the forums u gave me ....  trying to be brave but  too hard ... i really liked my counseller tooo thats why its harder to deal with ...... now im bk to myself again .. i dont have anyone else ... i cant trust people , so its gets very lonely and gets harder n harder so socalise . i havnt been out with anyone in a year now .... im with myself all the time ...... sad life ...... just in this year ive had two friends kill themselves and one of them i found .... and plus the sexual assult stuff...and 3 suicide attempts ..... great year so far .... im trying Roisin....hard when i have myself only tho .... i wish khl cared but looks like they dont anymore ..... x

Hi Tina,
 
It sounds like you are going through something really tough and no one in this world should ever feel alone or like they are going through something alone. That is not ok.
 
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling isolated and sad, maybe you could have a look at this info bus session on isolation to see the conversation between other young people who have had similar feelings and how they have gotten through it.
 
Here is a link :)  http://au.reachout.com/connect/forums/info-bus/info-bus-feeling-isolated
 
We also have an awesome space here on our forums where you can chat to other young people who are having similar issues.  Maybe joining in the conversation here could help you feel a little less isolated.  I have noticed you have already given some members some helpful advice and it really seemed to make a difference :)
 
You can see our forums here:  http://au.reachout.com/connect/forums
 
I'm sorry to hear that you have fallen out with your KLH counsellor but I do think it is important you talk to someone about how you are feeling.  Maybe you could give KLH another chance and ask to speak to a different counsellor or give lifeline a call on 13 11 14.  
 
If you do feel like you are in immediate danger of ending your life - please call emergency services on 000 straight away.
 
Please don't give up, we know from your previous post how strong and brave you can be and we promise that you are not alone in  this you just need to connect with people who will listen to you and help you with what you are going through.
 
Take Care
 
Roisin - RO Crew

i feel very isolated n sad .... ive been talking to kidshelpline for 2 years ... n me and her had a falling out ..... another counseller told me her real name n when i spoke to my counseller i said she has a cool name n she was angry i knew it ...... and now made me very sad :( now im too upset to ring khl anymore and im not in a good state now .. emotionally mentally .......  (Mod edit, please see House rules)

 Hey spud. read what I said to Lonley Depressed Teen about the partying. I was/still am a nerd. The biggest thing that 'nerds' like us need to know about socialising, is what to talk about. dont talk about computers or games or school work (in detail). Find common ground! Do this by asking questions such as... What school/uni do you go to? are you enjoying it? what subject do you do (don't ask closed questions, ie. yes-no answers)
also dont be afraid to talk about yourself, even if they didn't ask you a question because if your talking it means they don't have to and this makes people feel more at ease. (but don't completely dominate the conversation!!) The biggest thing that will surprise you is that once you've befriended a couple of people, your shyness will largely disappear and speaking to new people whether its girls or boys, will feel like talking to current friends or family. It becomes a breeze. (oh and by the way, if you dont have it, facebook is a goodish starting point even if you hate the idea.)

I don't know if the reply button worked or not but this is for Lonley_Depressed_Teen. Hey, im 17 too and was really depressed an detached. Here are some good easyish tips that worked for me. Listening to music (but not sad stuff. only happy uplifting songs) and I started learning a piano which is a great past-time and constructive distraction. Also socializing more breaks the cycle (easier said than done) but a great way to start is too be very nice to about 4 different friends and says nice thing about them to others (so if then words reach theirs ears from others they will respect you more). If you get invited to a party or a situation that has alcohol, only go if your felling good. NEVER EVER start drinking while feeling even slightly bad because the drinks make these feeling stronger. Watch a comedy (such as Carl Baron's - whatever comes next. This is hilarious!) Studying is also a great way to forget about problems and if you study very well then good grades will make you feel on top of the world and people around you will both respect you more and be inspired by you. Another good tip is to get a job! This tip is the hard one but it has great benefits. The job will give you some money and force you to meet new people. If you ever have a bad experience at work don't think too much about it because you will end up associating it with the job and you will then hate the job!! if you already have a job that you hate the line up another one. (only quit once you start a new job!). Meeting new people helped me overcome my anxiousness and made me feel more valued. I really hope these tips help out just a bit or even a lot and remember  try to make your experiences and memories good ones!

Hi everyone i need some help, im suffering from Depression, Anxiety and Schizophrenia. i do see a Social Worker and Psychiatrist and some others but i never feel any better.i just need some advise from somebody that is or has gone through these experiences because im only 17 i dont to bugger up my life now.

socialising as a "nerd" as many callz it, is so dam hard!!! any nerd tips? :(

thank you charlotte, I will check out the forums, and hope they give me some motivation.