Overcoming physical isolation

Always easy to give advice, and read all this stuff, get involved and talk to people, but how do you start, when you're not the talkative type, to charm people off their pants.

I have a job I dont particularly care for, and I dont make friends easily. Am just the quiet type.   Is there a way of meeting people without having to go to a pub?

Edited by moderator 12 months ago

Hey there tinkerbelle :)
Great name!
Good question about meeting people - it can be extremely hard to meet people but I think the trick is to find something that you love doing -and then have a look for clubs or groups who are running a particular activity etc. Or you try the other way around - have a look on Google for clubs/groups in your local area and see if any of them interest you. Local libraries often have a community noticeboard with various things going on in your local area.
What do other people think? What have you done to overcome isolation?

Getting involved and starting to talk to people can be a huge first step - so starting with something that's not so overhwleming...like talking online for example. We have great forums on RO.com that you should have a look at :) They are open all the time too :)

In the InfoBus section of the forums we had a group on feeling isolated that you may want to have a read of to see the things that people suggested to help with this. Hope you check it out!

thank you charlotte, I will check out the forums, and hope they give me some motivation.

socialising as a "nerd" as many callz it, is so dam hard!!! any nerd tips? :(

Hi everyone i need some help, im suffering from Depression, Anxiety and Schizophrenia. i do see a Social Worker and Psychiatrist and some others but i never feel any better.i just need some advise from somebody that is or has gone through these experiences because im only 17 i dont to bugger up my life now.

Edited by moderator 8 months ago

I don't know if the reply button worked or not but this is for Lonley_Depressed_Teen. Hey, im 17 too and was really depressed an detached. Here are some good easyish tips that worked for me. Listening to music (but not sad stuff. only happy uplifting songs) and I started learning a piano which is a great past-time and constructive distraction. Also socializing more breaks the cycle (easier said than done) but a great way to start is too be very nice to about 4 different friends and says nice thing about them to others (so if then words reach theirs ears from others they will respect you more). If you get invited to a party or a situation that has alcohol, only go if your felling good. NEVER EVER start drinking while feeling even slightly bad because the drinks make these feeling stronger. Watch a comedy (such as Carl Baron's - whatever comes next. This is hilarious!) Studying is also a great way to forget about problems and if you study very well then good grades will make you feel on top of the world and people around you will both respect you more and be inspired by you. Another good tip is to get a job! This tip is the hard one but it has great benefits. The job will give you some money and force you to meet new people. If you ever have a bad experience at work don't think too much about it because you will end up associating it with the job and you will then hate the job!! if you already have a job that you hate the line up another one. (only quit once you start a new job!). Meeting new people helped me overcome my anxiousness and made me feel more valued. I really hope these tips help out just a bit or even a lot and remember  try to make your experiences and memories good ones!

Edited by moderator 5 months ago

 Hey spud. read what I said to Lonley Depressed Teen about the partying. I was/still am a nerd. The biggest thing that 'nerds' like us need to know about socialising, is what to talk about. dont talk about computers or games or school work (in detail). Find common ground! Do this by asking questions such as... What school/uni do you go to? are you enjoying it? what subject do you do (don't ask closed questions, ie. yes-no answers)
also dont be afraid to talk about yourself, even if they didn't ask you a question because if your talking it means they don't have to and this makes people feel more at ease. (but don't completely dominate the conversation!!) The biggest thing that will surprise you is that once you've befriended a couple of people, your shyness will largely disappear and speaking to new people whether its girls or boys, will feel like talking to current friends or family. It becomes a breeze. (oh and by the way, if you dont have it, facebook is a goodish starting point even if you hate the idea.)

i feel very isolated n sad .... ive been talking to kidshelpline for 2 years ... n me and her had a falling out ..... another counseller told me her real name n when i spoke to my counseller i said she has a cool name n she was angry i knew it ...... and now made me very sad :( now im too upset to ring khl anymore and im not in a good state now .. emotionally mentally .......  (Mod edit, please see House rules)

Edited by moderator 4 months ago

Hi Tina,
 
It sounds like you are going through something really tough and no one in this world should ever feel alone or like they are going through something alone. That is not ok.
 
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling isolated and sad, maybe you could have a look at this info bus session on isolation to see the conversation between other young people who have had similar feelings and how they have gotten through it.
 
Here is a link :)  http://au.reachout.com/connect/forums/info-bus/info-bus-feeling-isolated
 
We also have an awesome space here on our forums where you can chat to other young people who are having similar issues.  Maybe joining in the conversation here could help you feel a little less isolated.  I have noticed you have already given some members some helpful advice and it really seemed to make a difference :)
 
You can see our forums here:  http://au.reachout.com/connect/forums
 
I'm sorry to hear that you have fallen out with your KLH counsellor but I do think it is important you talk to someone about how you are feeling.  Maybe you could give KLH another chance and ask to speak to a different counsellor or give lifeline a call on 13 11 14.  
 
If you do feel like you are in immediate danger of ending your life - please call emergency services on 000 straight away.
 
Please don't give up, we know from your previous post how strong and brave you can be and we promise that you are not alone in  this you just need to connect with people who will listen to you and help you with what you are going through.
 
Take Care
 
Roisin - RO Crew

Roisin thanks alot for replying to me ... coz i need alot of help right now ... ive tryed ringing khl again to speak to superviser n none is available ... and ive sent 3 emails for someone to get bk to me and noone has......  :(  thinking ill give up ....... theyve messed my head up alot... even singing lessons ive started doing is being effected .. i was 10 mins into the lesson n i started crying and couldnt continue ......   i will check out the forums u gave me ....  trying to be brave but  too hard ... i really liked my counseller tooo thats why its harder to deal with ...... now im bk to myself again .. i dont have anyone else ... i cant trust people , so its gets very lonely and gets harder n harder so socalise . i havnt been out with anyone in a year now .... im with myself all the time ...... sad life ...... just in this year ive had two friends kill themselves and one of them i found .... and plus the sexual assult stuff...and 3 suicide attempts ..... great year so far .... im trying Roisin....hard when i have myself only tho .... i wish khl cared but looks like they dont anymore ..... x

Hi Tina,
 
I am sorry to hear that things with KLH arent working out for you but It is important that you speak to someone about how you are feeling.  There are loads of services out there that can help you. I stongly suggest that you take a look at the who can help you  section of our site here:

http://au.reachout.com/find/getting-help/who-can-help-you 

It has lot's of information about how to get the best possible help to suit your individual needs. It's really worth a read.  Remember if you do feel like talking to someone about what you are goin through why not try lifeline on 13 11 14, they are really freindly and you can call anytime 24/7.

 
I'm so excited to hear that you are thinking about joining in our forums.  If you are unsure of where to start why not pop in and say hi in the introduction section here:
http://au.reachout.com/connect/forums/welcome-housekeeping/introduction-space

Or you could check out our most popular thread here:
http://au.reachout.com/community/forums/chatterbox?page=4

The young people in there are really freindly and supportive :)
 
Take Care
 
Roisin RO Crew.

Edited by moderator 4 months ago

"How can people be so alone in a world when it is filled with over 6 billion souls?"

I love that quote Ollie! 

Hey Tammiie

Re: "How can people be so alone in a world when it is filled with over 6 billion souls?"