Problem-solving

Problems are a normal part of life. You can think of them as a challenge - like a puzzle to be solved, or you can think of them as a burden that you are powerless to resolve.

Your willingness and ability to solve problems has a huge effect on the way you feel, and largely determines whether or not you become frustrated, despondent or depressed. In some cases the solutions are pretty obvious - you know what you need to do to fix the problem. In other situations, the solutions are not clear and you will need to consider lots of possible options before you can find the best one.

When you're confronted with a problem there are ways to deal with it. Read on for more information.

How being faced with a problem might affect you

When faced with a problem, it is not uncommon to feel:

• overwhelmed
• stressed or anxious
• annoyed and frustrated at yourself or others
• down or depressed
• excited by the challenge
• confused
• angry
• pressure or expectations from yourself or others
• physically sick, including headaches or migraines
• distracted and finding it hard to concentrate
• tired - sleeping too much or not enough.

If you are experiencing these feelings, it is important to look after yourself. Take time out to do something that you enjoy. Even though you may not feel like it, exercising and eating well can help. 

Having tools to help you make a decision can help you in reaching a successful outcome. If you are finding how you are feeling is affecting your day to day routine, it is a good idea to talk to someone you trust. This may be someone like a friend, school counsellor or family member.

Be solutions focused!

Working through a problem one step at a time can make you aware of lots of possible solutions. This increases your likelihood of getting what you want and helps you to feel more in control.

Sometimes it is helpful to get ideas from other people, such as family members and friends, although in the end it's up to you to decide what action to take.

Whenever you're feeling bad, it is a good idea to ask yourself:

'What is the best thing I can do to resolve this problem?'

If there is an obvious solution, then just do it. If there is not, you may need to take some time to sit down and brainstorm some possible options.

Remember that for most problems it is possible to find partial or complete solutions. The challenge is to look for the best solutions and put them into practice.

Using step-by-step problem-solving doesn't always lead to perfect solutions, but it increases your likelihood of resolving the problem - partially or completely. It might also help you to feel more in control.

Problem-solving in eight steps

When you do something towards solving a problem you usually feel better, even though in some situations there's not much you can do.

Going through the steps of problem solving might be difficult at first, but will become intuitive with practice.

Step 1: Define the problem

Be specific, as vague descriptions lead to vague solutions. Sometimes you'll find that a whole lot of problems are all tied in together. When this happens, try to separate them so you can work on each problem separately.

For example: 'I hate my school' can be broken down to:

• 'I get upset when people in my class make fun of me'
• 'I get annoyed when Mr Simpson picks on me'
• 'I feel tired because I don't get enough time out from studying'

These are three individual problems, which, although related to each other, are best dealt with separately.

Step 2: Work out goals for each problem

Remember the question to ask yourself is 'What is the best thing that I can do to resolve the problem?' Try to focus on the things that you can do, rather than what you would like to happen.

So, for example, thinking: 'I would like all the painful people in my class to disappear' is not a realistic goal because it's not within your control. However, 'I would like to have lunch every day with Emmy and Jo' is a realistic goal because it is more likely to be within your control. Similarly, 'Get rid of Mr Simpson' is not a realistic goal, but 'work out a strategy to help me cope with Mr Simpson without getting upset' is more feasible.

Step 3: Brainstorm lots of possible solutions

Be creative! Come up with as many possible solutions as you can think of. Some of your ideas may be 'way out' - remember you are not judging or evaluating how good or bad your solutions are at this stage.

For example, some of the possible solutions for dealing with annoying people in your class might be: totally ignore them, be rude back to them, be nice towards them regardless of how they speak to you, talk to one or two of them and tell them how you feel, change schools, tell your year coordinator or school counsellor, speak to the principal and ask to change classes, hit them over the head with a hard object, ask your parents to contact the parents of the main culprits, etc.

Try to come up with as many different strategies as you can think of, and don't try to evaluate them at this stage.

Step 4: Rule out any obvious poor options

Look for all the idea on your list that are unrealistic or not likely to be helpful and cross them out.

For example, hitting someone over the head might get you in trouble - would it really be worth it? Rule out any obviously poor choices.

Step 5: Evaluate your options positive + negative consequences of each remaining option

Now you become the judge. Go through the options that are left and write down the 'pros' and 'cons' of each.

For example, being rude back at the other students might help you let off steam (positive), but it might also make the situation more unpleasant (negative).

Being nice towards them in spite of their put-downs may make you feel frustrated (negative) but it might change the way some of them respond to you (positive).

Explaining to the others that you don't like the way they are treating you might make you feel embarrassed (negative) but at least they will know how you feel (positive).

Step 6: Identify your best options

Once you've considered the positives and negatives for each possible solution, it's time to make a decision. Go through the options and pick out the ones that seem the most practical and potentially helpful.

There may be one option that stands out as better than the others. If there are a few possible solutions you might be able to implement all of them. For instance, with the above example you may decide to talk to the people who are hassling you and explain how you feel and what you want. If it happens again you may then decide to go to your year coordinator to discuss the problem and perhaps ask to change classes.

Step 7: Implement the best options

Now it's time to put your ideas into practice. For example, you might approach one of the girls in your class who makes nasty comments about you and use an 'I'-statement to tell her how you feel and what you would like. For example: 'Making jokes about me in front of the class upsets me. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't speak about me in that way'.

You might even write down the things that you plan to say, so that you have it clear in your mind. If this doesn't work your next action may be to go to the year coordinator to talk to him or her about the problem (again, you can write down in advance what you plan to say).

Step 8: How did it go?

The last step is to review how things went. So you tried it out, what happened? Did it change the situation or do you need to try another approach? If your current approach worked then that's all you need to do. But, if you didn't get what you wanted, then it's usually helpful to try a different approach.

What about if you can't fix the problem? Developing coping strategies

Although problem-solving usually helps us to find solutions, in some situations, in spite of our best efforts we still cannot fix the problem. If you have tried a number of strategies and none of them have worked, it may be time to focus on coping strategies. Check out the Can't fix the problem? Developing coping strategies fact sheet for more info.

Try it out

Is there a situation that you don't like? If you can change it, try working through the steps towards finding a solution to your problem.

If not, check out the Can't fix the problem? Developing coping strategies fact sheet, and see how you go accepting the situation. What can you say to yourself to accept the situation? What sorts of things can you do to get on with your life in a positive way, in spite of the situation?

Remember that problems are a normal part of life, and that we usually feel better when we do something towards resolving our problems rather than just dwelling on them.

It is often helpful to go through step-by-step problem solving, using the eight steps described. But, if you can't solve the problem, it is helpful to change the way you think about it - to practice acceptance, and move on with life in a positive way.

Let us know how you go.

 

Acknowledgement:

This fact sheet comes from:
Taking Charge! A Guide for Teenagers: Practical Ways to Overcome Stress, Hassles and Upsetting Emotions.
By: Dr Sarah Edelman and Louise Rémond
Foundation for Life Sciences (2005)
www.fls.org.au