Reaching out for help

By: 16 year old female

My life was almost perfect. My Dad was on a high income, my Mum worked for pleasure, I had an awesome younger sister and we had plenty of money. We lived in a small town and I had a few friends. Life was easy and I was happy.

When I was 9 my mum and sister were in a car accident. My sister who was 5 was killed and my mother was almost killed and transported to the hospital in the city. She was in there for a couple of weeks. In the meantime my dad and I went up and stayed in the capital city. My father cried the whole time and I was scared. The stability in my life was gone.

Mum got out of hospital and we went back home, had the funeral and then one night my mum and dad had a particularly loud argument. I had just had a shower and mum came and got me and said we are leaving. So I walked out in my pyjamas not realising that leaving meant forever.

A massive court battle later Mum had custody of me and she met a guy. This guy was scary and loud and a lot older. He would yell a lot. Mum married him and she moved interstate with him where they bought a property. Life became a nightmare. He would make me work on the days that I didn't have school. He would sexually abuse me if Mum was at work and he wouldn't do anything for me. I never told anyone what was happening until recently because I was too scared to. By the time I was 13 I was depressed. Within a year I had started self-harming and had shown signs of the beginning of an eating disorder.

No one noticed that I was depressed. Everyone said it was attention seeking. I remember one time I was out on our school oval and we had just walked across it. I was dizzy from the walk. I ended up lying down and one of my friends looked and me and told me I was making it all up. That was when things started to get serious.

My first suicide attempt landed me in hospital over night. I was sent to a major town nearby for a mental assessment and I was labelled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The second attempt almost killed me. I was in hospital for a week. The mental health team said there was nothing wrong with me. The third time landed me in hospital for 2 nights and I was labelled with Depression and Anxiety.

Not once did anyone offer or want to give me help. I would have continued on as I was until one day I decided I was going to live and enjoy it! Asking for help would have been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But it proved to be worth it. I started off with baby steps, finding online support such as Reach Out! and a few other support web sites. I found RO! the most supportive because it has an awesome, loving atmosphere and other people my age going through almost the same thing.

The people on RO! encouraged me to go and talk to someone about what was going on. I went and told one of my teachers that I wasn't coping too well and she referred me to my school nurse. The school nurse was great and she referred me to a psychologist almost immediately.

I realised now that people really do care and that people really do want to help. You just have to want it and until you are ready for help no one is going to offer but they will still be there. Getting help would have to be the best thing I have ever done. Sometimes I still struggle but I know that I have support and I can easily reach out for help!

For more info on issues raised in this story, why not check out some other ReachOut resources...

• Getting help(Fact sheet)
• Conquering depression and self-harm(Story)
• Child abuse - how to get support(Fact sheet)