Rollercoasting

By: Young Person

When Jordan turned eighteen she thought the world would change. 'Now I am actually free'. The only problem was, she didn't feel any better. In fact, she felt terrible. Jordan had waited years for this day but nothing had really changed It was such a huge let down. At least she didn't have to use her fake ID anymore.

Coming down

'It's just paranoia'. She told herself. 'I'm just having a really bad comedown', Jordan remembered all the drugs she dropped a couple of days ago. Could they be the problem??? Everyone talks about the three day blues, I guess this is what they mean. She remembered back to the great party at the Subway club and wondered now whether partying all the time was worth it. It was a miserable contemplation. Jordan decided she hated the rollercoaster she had been riding for the past year, she just didn't know how to stop the ride.

Jordan had been feeling even more depressed lately, and the ridiculously high pressures of HSC and her own expectations hadn't helped matters in the least. All she wanted was to feel normal again. Just normal emotions like happy and sad, seemed so foreign. It had been so long she couldn't remember even what they were like. Quite often Jordan felt so bad she couldn't even leave the house. The only thing that she had looked forward to were the drugs and now she no longer had that, the good had worn off and was now replaced by the opposite effect, they now made her feel worse!

I neeeeeeeed heeeeelp!!!!!!! She cried to herself. There was no-one there to tell. Eventually cried herself to sleep.

Out of sheer desperation Jordan told her mum how she felt. The relief was huge, just knowing that the burden of her feelings were shared by someone else who cared made some of the weight lift. It didn't change how she was feeling but things seemed like they could possibly improve now.

Jordan's mum didn't react that well at first, she had no idea about the drugs and definitely had no idea about the tough times Jordan was going through. After a long talk however Jordan's mum began to understand and they talked about some of the things Jordan could do to get through the tough times. They decided to speak to their family doctor first who gave Jordan the number of a psychiatrist.

Jordan was scared, was she crazy??? What would happen??? Would he make her lie on a couch? The psychiatrist talked to her about how she was feeling and the possible effects of the drugs she had been taking. She still felt like a bit of a freak but Jordan felt confident she could be helped.

After seeing the doctor a couple of times Jordan wasn't finding him particularly helpful. She felt like he didn't quite understand, she wanted to talk to someone younger and possibly a female. When she told the psychiatrist she was surprised, he wasn't offended at all and gave her the number of another psychiatrist who was a friend of his. After seeing her a couple of times Jordan really felt that this psychiatrist understood.

With the help of her psychiatrist and the support of her friends and parents, Jordan began to feel better. She still felt down now and again but at least she didn't feel psycho. She thought 'I'm still the same Jordan, minus the misery!'

Jordan just turned 19. She thought about the roller coaster she had been riding over the last couple of years.

If she had some advice for other people it would be 'there is help there. Not everyone can help, its not their fault and its not yours either, don't get put off, you're worth it, not because you're special but because everyone is special, and everyone deserves a chance at a happy life. I mean if you get a cold or whatever, you get help, what they don't tell you is that if you feel down, you need help too!'