Separation

It's weird the things that you get used to. The things you learn to depend on, routines to expect. For me, it was the every other week that my parents would fight.

I guess you just get used to waking up in the middle of the night hearing them screaming at one another, it makes you feel safe in a strange way, that everything is the same and won't change. It wasn't until I began staying at friends houses that I began to have an idea that perhaps not everyone's parents acted this way.

When I would visit friends houses, seeing their parents having a normal conversation without it dissolving into an argument seemed so alien. But still, I don't think anything could have prepared me for the reality of my Mum's announcement that she and my Dad were separating.

I just felt empty. And alone. I could be in a room full of people I knew, with friends, and still feel alone, like I was the only person in the entire world in this situation, having these feelings.

For a long time I felt like it was my fault, that my parents had stayed in an unhappy marriage for my sake. It took me a long time to even admit to my friends that my Dad didn't live with us anymore. Eventually when it no longer became a secret, I was amazed at how many of my friends had been through, or were going through the same situation.

I thought that I would be an outsider, but it was the complete opposite. I found myself being able to help my friends through the same situation I had been, and help them to realise the same things that I had, that it is never your fault.

It's strange the way things turn out. I originally thought that my parents' separating was the worst thing in the world - but it has honestly turned out to be one of the best things that has happened to my family and myself.

My brother and sister and I have never been closer - and I've never seen my parents happier. The time we spend with each of them is precious and spent having fun. As my parents have moved on from one another I have new and wonderful people in my life that inspire me everyday to be a better person.

My parents still don't speak, but what is important is the time we spend with one another and the knowledge that they both love me and that they are happy - that it what has and continues to make me happy everyday.

Are you struggling with a family break up? Why not check out a few more ReachOut stories and fact sheets...

• Family break up(Fact sheet)
• Custody issues in family breakups (Fact sheet)
• Being separated from my Mum(Story)