Sexual assault

What is sexual assault?

Sexual assault is a crime. It can be hard to accept that someone you care about has deliberately hurt you. It's not just about hitting. Abuse can also include using force or fear to make you do things that you don't want to do.

Forcing you to have sex when you don't want to, or forcing you into having sex by making you think you will be harmed if you don't, is a serious criminal offence.

• 'Sexual assault' in everyday language is a general term, which includes rape, but also other offences such as indecent assault.
• The definitions and labels for sexual offences differ slightly - in some states sex without consent is called 'rape', in others it is called 'sexual assault', 'sexual intercourse without consent', or 'sexual penetration without consent'.

Why do people sexually assault others?

Sexual assault is not about offenders getting pleasure from sex, but rather about them asserting power and control over someone else. Some offenders have been abused themselves, but this is not always the case and there is no evidence that being a victim/survivor of sexual assault means that a person will become a perpetrator.

Sexual assault is a crime and is never justified. It is never the fault of the victim.

How sexual assault might affect you

Everyone reacts to sexual assault differently. It can have a range of immediate, short-term and long-term effects on physical and emotional well-being. Effects can include:

• Shock and denial - eg "Has this really happened to me?", "Why me?"; an inability to accept that it has really occurred.

• Fear - Of the offender, of getting close to other people, of being alone, or of having to deal with the medical, legal or social consequences of the crime, and of being rejected because of the experience.

• Silence - Being unable to talk about the assault, to describe what it means or feels like; afraid of being judged.

• Anxiety - Being unable to relax or feel safe.

• Depression - Feeling sad and as if things are hopeless.

• Guilt and blame - A feeling of "Why did I go there/allow it/not fight back?".

• Low self-esteem - Feeling unworthy, not confident or deserving, feeling ashamed and dirty.

• Isolation - Wanting to be alone, closed off from family and friends.

• Nightmares + flashbacks - Images and memories of the assault intruding on daily life and sleep.

• Mood swings - Going from anger and rage to tears and despair.

• Loss of confidence - In work, in study, in social and intimate relationships.

• Loss of trust - Within social or family relationships.

• Being afraid or uncomfortable about sexual relationships.

Communication

Communication is important for all relationships. Surveys report that guys in particular are anxious about communication. Many feel that they need to have a few drinks before they are able to talk to girls. Sometimes they might need help to find more positive ways to handle shyness and the fear of rejection.

Without communication there can be no real relationship. If communication is poor or not valued, negotiating the boundaries of the relationship will be difficult, if not impossible. Poor communication can lead to conflicting expectations, especially about sex. Sex without consent is sexual assault - there is no room for confusion.

Stay safe + play it safe

Most violence against women occurs within a relationship - that's why learning how to build healthy relationships is so important. But trouble can happen outside relationships with strangers or people you don't know well.

Think about the things you can do to keep safe and out of trouble. This might include:

• Plan to go out and hang out in a group.
• Go with people you feel safe with and who you know have your best interests at heart.
• Look out for yourself and your friends - good friends make sure that their friends are safe and make safe choices.
• Have some transport plans to make sure you can get there and back safely.
• Let someone know (parents, brother/ sister, housemate) where you are going, and when you'll be home. If your plans change let them know.
• Alcohol and sex can be a dangerous mix. If you are not in control of yourself, you won't be able to control the situation.
• Remember if you are so drunk that you don't know if the other person is consenting - stop. It could be rape. When you know that the other person is so drunk they may not be capable of giving consent - don't do it - because this would be rape.
• Avoid being alone and isolated with someone you don't know well. If you start to feel uncomfortable, go with your feelings, and get to a safe place as fast as you can.

Agreeing to one type of activity such as kissing doesn't mean there is a 'green light' for other sexual contact - remember it's ok to change your mind and say "no" at any stage.

You shouldn't stop being careful just because you know the person you're with - you may not know them as well as you think.

Sexual assault + the law

Sexual assault is a crime. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted either recently or in the past, then you have a right to report it to the Police.

If you decide to report an assault to the Police then an officer trained in talking to victims of sexual assault will take your statement. They may also ask you to have a medical examination, which is where a doctor or health professional makes sure you're physically okay and takes evidence (check out the Taking care of your sexual health fact sheet for more about what happens).

Where to get help

Finding the right time and courage for you to talk about these issues is important. Relationships are a key part of our lives.

Call the confidential 24 hour National Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault helpline 1800 200 526 to talk with experienced counsellors. You can also call the 24 hour Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (free call from a landline).

For emergency situations that require immediate and urgent assistance call 000.

Callers who are deaf or have a hearing impairment can call through the National Relay Service on 1800 555 677 and quote 1800 200 526

More information

Confidential Helpline - National Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault helpline
1800 200 526

State and Territory Crisis and Service Numbers

ACT
Domestic Violence 6280 0900
Sexual Assault 6247 2525
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78

NSW
Domestic Violence (DoCS) 1800 656 463
Sexual Assault (Syd) 9819 6565
Sexual Assault (Rural) 1800 424 017
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78

Northern Territory
Domestic Violence 1800 019 116
Sexual Assault (Darwin) 8922 7156
Sexual Assault (Alice Springs)8951 5880
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Mensline Australia1300 78 99 78

Queensland
Domestic Violence 1800 811 811
Sexual Assault 1800 010 120
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78

South Australia
Domestic Violence 1800 800 098
Sexual Assault 1800 817 421
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78

Tasmania
Domestic Violence 1800 633 937
Sexual Assault (Southern) 6231 1811
Sexual Assault (Northern) 6334 2740
Sexual Assault (Nth West) 6431 9711
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78

Victoria
Domestic Violence (Melb) 9373 0123
Domestic Violence (Rural) 1800 015 188
Sexual Assault 1800 806 292
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78

Western Australia
Domestic Violence 1800 007 339
Sexual Assault 1800 199 888
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78