Starting boarding school

Making the choice to go away to school

There are many reasons why you may go to boarding school. Some situations allow you more choice than others. If you don't choose to go away to school you may be feeling angry about having to leave home.

Deciding to go away to school may not be easy. There may be pressure from your parents to make a decision one way or the other. It is important that you make a choice that is right for you. Some of the things you could do to help you make that decision may be:

• Write a list of all the advantages and disadvantages for going away to school.
• Talk through your reasons with your family.

Leaving home

It is normal to have mixed feelings about leaving home to go away to school. It can be exciting to make new friends, have new experiences, be more independent and become more confident within yourself.

You may also be feeling scared, homesick or lonely. It is not unusual to feel nervous about leaving your familiar surroundings.

Starting at a new school

Starting at a new school can be stressful. There are many things that may cause you to become over stressed. Some of these are being:

• in an unfamiliar environment
• sad that you are not able to hang out with your old friends
• worried that you won't have a group of friends to hang out with
• nervous or worried about your workload
• tired from all the energy involved with starting a new school
• harassed by other students. If this is happening you may want to check out the fact sheet on Bullying - what to do if you are being bullied for more information.

Making life easier at school

It may help to remember that you are not alone, it is likely that other people have similar feelings to you. There are some things that may help you to feel better about boarding school.

Give it time - Big changes often take time to adjust to. Moving away from home and starting a new school is big. Allowing yourself to get used to the change is important. Try to take it one day at a time. It is likely that life will start to get easier as you become more familiar with the school routine and start to make new friends.

Stay in contact with old friends - While you are making new friends, it may help to stay in touch with your old friends. You may like to talk to some of your old friends about how you are feeling about starting at a new school. They may be having similar concerns. Although you are not able to see them face-to-face, it may still be possible to keep in touch via email, ICQ or phone. Keep in mind that friends at home may be a bit slack in getting back to you. Try not to take this personally. It may be because they are still doing similar things and are in their comfort zone so are not as aware of how important their contact with you is. It may help to let them know how much you enjoy hearing from them.

Have something to look forward to - Sometimes it is helpful to plan ahead so that you have something to look forward to. You may want to plan to catch up with friends during the holidays or plan to do something special if your parents are coming to visit you at school.

Get involved - A good way to make new friends is to become involved in activities that interest you. This way you are meeting people whom you have things in common with. You may want to get involved in:

• sport
• music
• debating
• community service.

Organise something at school - Often other people are feeling nervous about making new friends. It can sometimes take someone to suggest doing something to break the ice. You may want to suggest kicking the footy or heading down the street together. If you have a visitor, inviting a few people out with you can be a good way to get to know them better.

Create your own space - Making your space your own can help you to bring a bit of home to school. Posters, your favourite doona cover, books, pictures of friends and family, and ornaments may help to make your space more like home.

Express yourself - Being able to express how you are feeling may help to release some of the tension you may be carrying around with you. There are a number of ways that you are able to express yourself safely. Check out the Express yourself fact sheet for some ideas.

Talk to someone - It may be helpful to talk to someone about how you are feeling. This may be a friend or family member. Sometimes talking to someone who is not so close to the situation may be helpful. This could be someone like a school counsellor, school nurse, boarding master or mistress, or a teacher.

For more information about how these people can help, check out the Getting help section. If you would prefer to talk to someone anonymously you could call Kids Help Line 1800 55 1800 (free call). They have counsellors who are available 24 hours a day.