Telling someone big news

How can I tell someone something big?

When something happens, you may experience a range of feelings, which might make it hard to tell someone what has happened. You may be feeling embarrassed, sad, worried or confused about the situation.

It may be scary having to tell someone about a situation because the people you are telling may have set values and beliefs about the issue. Being unsure of how people react may also make it hard to tell someone what is going on for you.

All these thoughts and feelings are normal. It may be important to let people you trust know what is happening. They may be able to help you and support you. You may also feel a sense of relief after telling someone.

Things to consider

Having support - Having someone you can talk to about your situation may help. Speaking with a counsellor, youth worker or your local doctor may help you to work out how you are going to tell family and friends. It is important that you also look after yourself after you have spoken to your family and friends.

Choosing when to tell - Timing can be an important part of telling someone big news. If possible, try to choose a time when people are relaxed. Try to avoid telling people during an argument and avoid using your news as a weapon. If you tell people during an aggressive or defensive moment, you may end up getting a bad reaction and distancing them.

Having knowledge about the situation - It may be useful for you to have an understanding of the situation before you let anyone know. Knowing your options about the situation can help you answer questions and help you avoid stereotypes.

Understanding your feelings - Taking time to work out how you feel about the situation and your needs for the future can make it easier for you to tell someone else. It is not always easy to know how you are feeling and a counsellor may be able to help you sort through some of your thoughts.

Coping with reactions - Everyone has a different way of coping. Some people may be confused and need time to work out how they feel, others have no problems with what you have told them, some may be relieved that you were able to tell them and some people may be upset or angry.

Try to remember that if people react unfavourably it is because they were unprepared for the news and they may need time to think. In time, they may be ready to ask you questions, listen to answers and acknowledge the feelings. It may also be important to explain things to them a few times as they may not have heard it the first time.

Acknowledging your feelings is also important, it may be helpful for you to speak to someone about how you are feeling. Kids Helpline (1800 55 10800 - free from a landline) or Lifeline (131 114 - cost of local call from a landline) have counsellors who are available 24 hours.

More info

Check out the fact sheets listed on the left side of the page.