The family + Christmas

Helping to understand other people's reactions

Christmas and the holidays can be a busy time. It might be that:

• People are working longer hours at work to get things finished before starting the holidays.
• Christmas adds financial stress.
• It is difficult to find time to get all the Christmas shopping done in time.
• Going to various family, work or social events and functions.

Everyone reacts differently to these things and sometimes people react because they are stressed and tired. For example, Christmas can be a time when families argue more than they usually do, over what may seem like petty things (this might be particularly the case with extended family who you only see once or twice a year).

Check out the fact sheets on the left side of the page for more info about resolving arguments. Trying to understand people's reactions might help you to manage how you deal with Christmas stress.

Getting some space at a busy time

Respecting each other's space might help you to get along better with those you are spending Christmas with. It is also a good idea to make sure that you can take time out. This can include things like going for a walk, listening to some music or ringing a friend.

If you are finding that things are getting on top of you, it might be helpful to talk to someone about how you are feeling. This might mean talking to the person or people involved to see if you can work something out together. Sometimes, people may not be aware that they are making you sad or angry. If you are going to talk to them, it is a good idea to do it when you are both feeling calm. Check out the fact sheet on Telling someone big news for more suggestions.

You might prefer to talk with someone who is not so close to the situation. Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 (free call from a landline) or Lifeline 13 11 14 (cost of a local call from a landline) have counsellors who are available 24 hours a day and the call does not show up on your phone bill.

Spending Christmas away from the family

Spending Christmas away from home can be lonely. It might be helpful for you to plan to do something a bit different to help make the time more enjoyable.

If you are not spending Christmas day with family, you might want to plan something else to do. If you have friends who are in a similar situation, you might want to spend Christmas together.

Another idea is to volunteer to help with a Christmas lunch. Church groups or organisations like the Salvation Army or Smith Family often put on a Christmas lunch and are often looking for volunteers. Check out your local phone book for details of the Salvation Army, Smith Family, or your local church group.

Dealing with a split family

If your family is split it might be that you have to separate your time between your mum's and dad's place. Sometimes it means going away and being away from friends over the holidays. It might also be a time when your mum and dad seem to be fighting, which can be hard for you. It might help to remember that the reason parents react how they do is not your fault.

Some ideas for helping to get through this time:

Work out a Christmas plan - It might help to talk with your parents about how you are going to split your time at Christmas. If your parents live close by, you might want to do lunch at one place and dinner at the other (swapping each year). If you live a little further away then you can swap whom you spend Christmas with each year.

Take time out - Spending time with someone you see very little of can be tough. It is also hard to stay in a place you may call 'home', but is not complete with all your stuff. Taking time out might help you to have more fun. You might want to chill out listening to some music, go for a walk or talk to a friend.

More information

Check out the fact sheets on the left side of the page.