The family and Christmas

Helping to understand other people's reactions

Christmas and the holidays can be a busy time. It might be that:

• people are working longer hours at work to get things finished before starting the holidays

• Christmas adds financial stress

• it is difficult to find time to get all the Christmas shopping done in time

• people are going to various family, work or social events and functions.

 

Everyone reacts differently to these things, and sometimes people react because they are stressed and tired. For example, Christmas can be a time when families argue more than they usually do, over what may seem like petty things (this might be particularly the case with extended family who you only see once or twice a year).

See more of the fact sheets in the Managing family relationships for additional info on conflicts and resolving arguments. Trying to understand people's reactions might help you to manage how you deal with Christmas stress. Respecting each other's space might help you to get along better with those you are spending Christmas with. It is also a good idea to make sure that you can take time out. This can include things like going for a walk, listening to some music or ringing a friend.

If you are finding that things are getting on top of you, it might be helpful to talk to someone about how you are feeling. This might mean talking to the person or people involved to see if you can work something out together. Sometimes, people may not be aware that they are making you sad or angry. If you are going to talk to them, it is a good idea to do it when you are both feeling calm. See the Telling someone big news fact sheet for more suggestions.

You might prefer to talk with someone who is not so close to the situation. See the Samaritans website, listed in the Related links on the left-hand side of this page.

Spending Christmas away from the family

Spending Christmas away from home can be lonely. It might be helpful for you to plan to do something a bit different to help make the time more enjoyable.

If you are not spending Christmas day with family, you might want to plan something else to do. If you have friends who are in a similar situation, you might want to spend Christmas together. Another idea is to volunteer to help with a Christmas lunch. Church groups or organisations like the Salvation Army and St. Vincent de Paul often put on a Christmas lunch and are often looking for volunteers. Look up your local phone book for details of the Salvation Army, St. Vincent de Paul, or your local church group.

Dealing with a split family

If your family is split, it might be that you have to separate your time between your mum's and dad's place. Sometimes it means going away, and being away from friends over Christmas. It might also be a time when your mum and dad seem to be fighting, which can be hard for you. It might help to remember that the reason parents react how they do is not your fault.

 

Some ideas for helping to get through this time

Work out a Christmas plan - it might help to talk with your parents about how you are going to split your time at Christmas. If your parents live close by, you might want to do lunch at one place and dinner at the other (swapping each year). If you live a little further away then you can swap whom you spend Christmas with each year.

 

Take time out - spending time with someone you see very little of can be tough. It is also hard to stay in a place you may call 'home', but is not complete with all your stuff. Taking time out might help you to have more fun. You might want to chill out listening to some music, go for a walk or talk to a friend.

More Information

See the Related links on the left-hand side of this page.