The real me

I have never stayed in one school, or one town for any longer than a year or two. My dad is in a job that requires him to move - to different countries. Every few years my family would move, and i would be stuck in a new school, new environment, new people. My problem was the new people. I was always so worried about friends, whether or not people would like me - I was worried that i might end up with nobody, no friends. Without knowing it, I created a facade of myself that was completely different to the real me.

I had no idea I had done this, until about a year ago - I'm fifteen now. I had kept up this facade all through my primary school years. Most of my personality was supressed so that other people couldn't see, and only the socially accepted bits I would show, so that people would like me and be friends with me. I had been meeting people and making friends on this false basis. I have now been at the one school since year seven, and kept this facade for three years after that because it had become a part of me, even though I didn't know it.

A while ago one of my very close friends (one of the people I have known for four years - the oldest friend I have) said to me that i need to be myself. It seemed that they knew me well enough to know that i wasn't being my self. They had seen me over four years, and had seen most parts of me at different times, and seen that i don't show it all the time. So they said I should be myself more often to start with. I did that. I enjoyed it. Recently (over the past year) I have begun to be comfortable with myself, and have shown more of myself to eople. More recently than that I realised that this had been happening. I noticed that i was making more friends, getting to know people better, getting to know  my current friends better, and trusting people. About a month ago I discovered my facade. About 29 days ago I got rid of the facade. I don't need it. I really, really like who I am. Other people know who I am now too. And they like me. I'm happier than I ever have been.

I guess the moral of my story really is that you should be yourself.  In the end, you shouldn't worry about what other people think about you, and whether or not they'll be friends with you. If If you're not yourself with others, you'll never find a true friend - someone who knows and loves you for you. And if you still think no one will like you if you're yourself, then you just haven't found the right person.

For more info around learning to be yourself, why not check out some more fact sheets and stories on ReachOut.com...

• Social anxiety(Fact sheet)
• Self esteem - feeling OK about who you are (Fact sheet)
• Learning to be yourself (Story)