Thinking about having sex?
Deciding when to be sexual with someone else
Being sexual is a very personal way of communicating with someone else. It is a physical way of expressing love and affection. Being sexual is a personal choice and it is not uncommon to take time to make the decision. It may help to know that love doesn't equal sex. Relationships can be happy without being sexual.
Talking about sex with the person who you are sexually attracted to, whether they are a friend, acquaintance, or even your partner, may help you both work out if you want to begin a sexual relationship with them. Try to talk about your expectations, and what you expect from them. If it is relevant don't forget to talk about contraception.
If you decide to have sex remember:
- Sex must be consensual, that means both of you want to have sex - that you are both ready.
- Do it safely, use protection.
Suggestions for safe sex
It is always a good idea to engage in 'safe sex'. This means making sure you don't risk becoming pregnant unless you want to, or catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI's - like HIV and AIDS, herpes, chlamydia, or gonorrhea).
It is a good idea to find out about safe sex and how different STI's are passed on. Using condoms with water-based lubricants and also using dental dams are one way to protect yourself from some STIs. You may like to be informed about how to prevent unwanted pregnancy or STI's before you take any risks. You can do this by:
- Checking out some of the other Reach Out factsheets
- Checking out the Family Planning site
- Talking with health workers at your local community health centre
- Visit your doctor or someone from Family Planning
Saying "No"
Being in a sexual relationship can be very enjoyable and rewarding when that relationship is negotiated and agreed on by both people. Sometimes people think they can demand that someone be sexual with them, or force them to have sex against their will. Remember no-one has the right to force you into sexual contact with them, you have the right to say "No". Don't let yourself be intimidated into having sex with anyone.
When can I legally have sex?
The laws for when you are able to have sex vary depending according to which Australian State or country you live in.
More Information
If you want more information you may want to contact:
Your local sexual health centre, provide a free and confidential service
Family Planning Health, offer information and clinics for young people. FPA Healthline on 1300 65 88 86
Youth Health Service, often have booklets and information about safe sex and other youth health issues.
Other services:
Call the Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service in your state or territory:
ACT
Gay and Lesbian Telephone Help Referral and Outreach Bureau (THROB) - 02 6247 2726
QLD
Gay and Lesbian Welfare Association
(07) 3252 2997 (7-10pm)
Toll free (rural areas): 1800 184 527
SA
Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service
(08) 8422 8400 (Mon- Fri 7-10pm, Sat 2-5pm & 7-10pm)
Toll free (rural areas): 1800 182 233
NSW
Gay and Lesbian Line (02) 8594 9596
(5.30pm-10.30pm daily)
Toll free (rural areas): 1800 184 527
VIC
Gay and Lesbian Switchboard (03) 98278544
(6-10pm daily, Wed 2-10pm)
Toll free (rural areas): 1800 184 527
WA
Youthline (08) 9486 9855 (Tuesdays 1-4pm)
TAS
Gay and Lesbian Switchboard - 1800 184 527
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Comments (Page 1 of 1)
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amy_1
7 months ago
Reply ReportOne of the most dangerous and misleading myths put forward during the sexual revolution was that casual sex is a "harmless equal opportunity pleasure".
A lot of young women go into sex thinking they can have casual sex like a man, society tells them they are "sexually liberated" and everything will be OK as long as they have "safe sex".
But there is a sharp emotional toll for women who agree to sex with a man without waiting untill a strong relationship is formed. Many women struggle to seperate their feelings from sex and end up feeling used, hurt and get discarded like an old rag. Even if you are a woman and you wait a few weeks, chances are you will be discarded after you sleep with a man. Many women get passed around from man to man and wind up very exploited and hurt. A lot of men lie to get sex, they invent a whole different personality.
The message is that we should be trying to MINIMIZE casual sex and sending out the message to young women that they are DIFFERENT to men and have a different biology, instead of pretending men and women are the same. Women are a lot more emotionally vulnerable to casual sex. Period. Girls should wait to have sex untill the man has invested in them, money $ and time! Girls would do bes to wait at least 6 weeks before having sex with a man, no sooner. Sex is not free. Do not pretend otherwise!