Tsunami

I first heard about the Tsunami on the radio. I woke up and heard that a huge wave had hit Asia and caused terrible damage. 

All day I thought about all the poor people who had died and lost people they loved. I cried and felt so small. It felt like the whole world was hurting and I couldn't do anything. I am on a disability pension so I can't really afford to send lots of money, but I realised that if everyone gave even just one dollar that would be a lot of money. So I sent what I could to the red cross and it made me feel a bit better that even though it was only a little bit, it would all add up and help.

My parents were supposed to go to Thailand for a family reunion the next day. I was so happy they had not been there. In the afternoon my parents came to visit. They sat down on the sofa and didn't say anything, they just looked at me with sad faces.  That was when I heard about my family who lived in Europe. They were already there. They had gone early to have a warm Christmas. My grandfather, his wife, my 3 aunts and 3 uncles and my 5 cousins. I cried so hard that I threw up.

My parents stayed with me for the next few days and we kept phoning the special number to find out if our family was ok. And we called all their friends and neighbours. No one had heard anything. There was lots of praying and crying and waiting. Every time the phone rang we were hoping it was my grandfather ringing to say 'everyone is ok'.

But when the phone call did come it wasn't my grandfather, it was a voice I didn't know telling me news I didn't want to hear. They have now all been confirmed dead. I can't even begin to explain what it's like to have half my family gone in one single moment. It's like having your whole world ripped out from under your feet. My mum lost her whole family, including her twin sister. She says it feels like her whole history died and that she has been cut in half. 

I've lost people that I loved very much before, and it's never something you get used to. But to loose 13 people all at once is almost too big to know where to start grieving. So I'm sort of still numb. I've spent the last few days trying to come to terms with what has happened. I have been writing letters to each of them, telling them how much I love them and that I will never ever forget them. I'm not sure what I am going to do with the letters yet. But just writing them has helped. 

I am not well enough to fly to Europe for the funerals. So I've written a song and tomorrow I am going to record it and send it so it can be played at the funerals. And my family and friends here are holding a service here in Sydney so we can say goodbye.

Those days I spent waiting to hear something where horrible. My heart goes out to the thousands and thousands of people still waiting to hear from loved ones.

I know from the past that healing takes time. It's happens slowly. You have to find a way to honour each person in your life and learn to go on with your life and carry their spirit with you.  But right now, I'm just going to take it one day at a time