When a relationship is ending

Getting through a relationship break up

Breaking up may be nobody's fault. It can be hard but sometimes it might be the best thing for two people to make the decision that they cannot grow anymore in this relationship.

People may react differently when a relationship ends. It is not uncommon to feel sad, angry, disbelief, guilt or relief. Managing these feelings may be hard. For more information about managing your anger you may want to check out the Anger fact sheet.

It may take some time to accept that the relationship has ended and to move on from the relationship. Sometimes the ending of a relationship can give you time to learn more about yourself, spend time with your friends and do things that you enjoy doing.

Having someone you can talk to may be helpful. This may be a friend, family member, youth worker or counsellor.

You may also find it helpful to:

Keep busy - Keeping active and doing things you enjoy may help to keep your mind off the break up. You may want to hang out with friends, read a book, go for a run or walk, or listen to music.

Try something new - Sometimes it is helpful to make a fresh start by trying something different. There may be a course you have always wanted to do, for example drama, art, yoga or you may want to start playing sport.

Look after yourself - It may be a difficult time and it is important that you look after yourself. Eating a healthy diet and doing something active may be helpful. It may also help to treat yourself. Do something that you enjoy.

Remind yourself that you are OK - Think about your achievements, your friends, things you enjoy, and the people that have said positive things about you. Check out the Maintaining healthy self-esteem fact sheet for more info.

Talk with someone you trust - Getting some support when a relationship is ending may help you work through how you are feeling. You may find it helpful to talk to your friends, your parents, a teacher, school counsellor, doctor or another person that you can trust. Check out the Who can help you section for more info about how these people can help.

Ending a relationship

Over time your interests may change. You grow apart or you have less in common and it may be time for you to think about ending the relationship.

If you do decide to end a relationship, it may be difficult for both people, and respecting one another may make things easier. Once you decide to end the relationship, it is a good idea to be honest, kind and definite.

You may want to use words that tell the other person what you have been feeling and thinking and what you want for yourself. It is not helpful to blame each other or try to pick out faults.

Sometimes people are just different and getting to know someone during a relationship can show up differences that you didn't know before. Differences are natural and they may not be helping you, or this relationship, to stay strong, happy and healthy.

More information

Other things on Reach Out to check out are Reach Out Central (ROC), an online interactive space where you can test-drive real life scenarios.

Acknowledgement

Thanks to FPA Health for preparing this factsheet.