Why do I feel attracted to people of my own sex?

Same sex attraction

Young people often ask, "Why am I attracted to people of the same sex?" People very rarely ask, "why am I attracted to people of the opposite sex?" One of the great things about human beings is that they are different. Part of that difference is a variation in the people we are attracted to.

Society often looks for a cause to something that is different so that it can be "fixed" Being attracted to someone of the same sex is not something to be "fixed" just as being attracted to someone of the opposite sex is not something to be "fixed".

Being gay, lesbian or bisexual is natural and healthy and the vast majority of psychologists and psychiatrists consider it unethical to try to change a person's sexual orientation.

We live in a world that often fears difference. They equate different with wrong. This prejudice is the same as racism and other forms of discrimination. Being attracted to people of the same sex is only part of who you are.

I don't fit a stereotype

Gay, lesbian, and bisexual people, like all people are diverse. They are all ages, come from all cultures and religions and work in all professions. The fact is that myths and stereotypes exist because of ignorance and assumptions. Some people fit the stereotypes and some don't. Trust your feelings and be yourself.

There are many misunderstandings about sexuality and sex. We often hear and see stereotypes of gay, lesbian and bisexual people.

Stereotypes like all gay men have anal sex, lesbians hate men, gay men dress like women or behave like women, and AIDS is a gay disease. These are all stereotypes and are all wrong. Think to yourself whether you would believe those stereotypes if they were said about heterosexual people.

Being gay, lesbian or bisexual is not defined by how you look, where you go or the job you do. It is defined by how you feel and who you are attracted to. Trust those feelings and be yourself.

More info

Call the Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service in your state or territory:

ACT

Gay and Lesbian Telephone Help Referral and Outreach Bureau (THROB) - 02 6247 2726

QLD

Gay and Lesbian Welfare Association

(07) 3252 2997 (7-10pm)

Toll free (rural areas): 1800 184 527

Open Doors: 3 Julia St, Fortitude Valley, QLD 4006

Ph: (07) 3257 7660

Email: opendoors@opendoors.net.au

Provides drop in service for LGBTI youth (Wed 1:30-6:30pm, Friday 12:30 - 4:30pm), a reconnect (LGBTI homeless youth reconnection program), Young & Proud (18-24 peer mentoring program), Jelly Bean (>24 Trans & Gender Diverse Peer Mentoring Program), provide advocacy and limit food/personal hygiene products for LGBTI youth. 

SA

Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service

(08) 8422 8400 (Mon- Fri 7-10pm, Sat 2-5pm & 7-10pm)

Toll free (rural areas): 1800 182 233

NSW

Gay and Lesbian Line (02) 8594 9596

(5.30pm-10.30pm daily)

Toll free (rural areas): 1800 184 527

VIC

Gay and Lesbian Switchboard (03) 98278544

(6-10pm daily, Wed 2-10pm)

Toll free (rural areas): 1800 184 527

WA

Youthline (08) 9486 9855 (Tuesdays 1-4pm)

TAS

Gay and Lesbian Switchboard - 1800 184 527

These services are anonymous, and calls to a 1800 number do not appear on a phone bill. You can chat to someone about your feelings and they can answer many of your questions. They can also tell you about support groups and social functions.

Pick up a gay and lesbian newspaper. Every state has gay and lesbian newspapers that will tell you about what's on and how to access support and social groups. There are also national magazines available, some of which you can subscribe to.

Acknowledgements

Text adapted from "You're not alone", a booklet written by the Gay and Lesbian counselling service (WA) and the WA AIDS council under the "Here for Life" sexuality project.