Give and take

It took him a while to understand what it meant to be gay, so he kept his feelings from the world. This is how he realised that if you give support, you'll get it back.

man comforting boyfriend
It's hard to tell anyone, you're always scared that they are going to hate you or call you a fag.
I knew I was gay from when I was about 12, maybe 13, but didn't tell anyone until two days after I turned 18. Those 5 years were really hard as I tried to understand who I was and what being gay meant, as well as trying to comprehend why so many people found it so awful. It's hard to tell anyone, you're always scared that they are going to hate you or call you a fag. Something that is even harder on you is if you let your feelings and thoughts bottle up inside you. You get to a point where you just want to burst.

I went to an all boys' Catholic school and it wasn't uncommon for me to get called poof or fag every now and then. But it wasn't a major issue, I didn't really let it affect me all that much.

When I went to university it was a different story. A lot of my really good friends went to the same uni as me and I felt that by not telling them I was gay, I wasn't as close to them as I could be. I wasn't being entirely truthful. Although I found it really hard to break the ice and finally tell some of my friends, I made a decision that I wouldn't let anyone's opinion or reaction affect me. If they chose to accept me for who I was then good for them, if not, then they weren't very good friends. Luckily the first few people I told were great and still remain my best friends today.

It's a great and an amazing feeling to have people say that they love you for who you are. Something that I found funny in my whole coming out experience was that many people knew I was gay before I'd told them and were simply sitting back and waiting for me to feel comfortable to share it with them. I found that people are very accepting, especially your friends. I just make sure the people I hung around with and people who I shared things with were loving and caring people.

I think the most important thing I learnt in my coming out is that if you actively support others for who they are, then they wont hesitate to love you and support for who you are when you need it most.
Last reviewed: 16 February, 2014
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