Having a hard time with friends

Sometimes friendships aren’t what you expect. When friends could be friendlier or if you think things are getting nasty and you might be being bullied, there are a couple of things you can do that might help you feel a bit better.

This can help if:

  • Your friends don’t want to hang out anymore
  • It feels like your friends don't  notice you
  • It seems everyone else is busy, except you
person leaning against graffiti wall
Friends can be both awesome and difficult at the same time. It can be really tough to find good friends, particularly ones you can trust and rely on. One thing you can be sure of, though, is that everyone has difficulty with their friends at times, and it’s not uncommon to feel like they just don’t get where you’re coming from.

When friends could be friendlier

There can be a whole range of reasons that you feel like your friends don’t care about you. Maybe they’re incredibly busy, maybe you’ve grown apart, or maybe they weren’t the right choice for a friend in the first place.

It’s important that during the process of making a friend, you get to know the person really well before trusting them. That way, when it comes to caring about you and noticing how you’re feeling, there will be enough of a relationship history with you and your friend that it’s likely they’ll do this naturally.

If they really don’t seem to listen to you or take into account your feelings, it’s likely that they aren’t a really good friend to begin with and it might be worthwhile starting to look around for a new group of mates.

Things are getting nasty

There is a time when ‘my friends don’t care’ turns into ‘my friends are purposefully hurting my feelings.’ When this line is crossed, things turn serious. If it feels like your friends are actively trying to exclude or ignore you, it definitely might be something a bit more toxic. If your friends go out of their way to make you feel bad you might actually be being bullied. After all, there’s no single type of bully, and sometimes a bully can be the person you trust the most.

Stuff you can do

If you feel like you care about the relationship enough to speak up about how you’re feeling there are some things you can do which might help:

Talk to someone about it. It doesn’t have to be your friend, but it could be a parent, teacher or counsellor. Someone who might be able to give you some advice on what to do next.

Write down what you’re feeling. If you’re not sure how you feel about anything or you’d like to work out exactly why you’re feeling down, writing about it can help.

Find some new people to hang out with. You don’t have to cut off your current friendships, but it might be worth looking around for more people to hang out with. Split your time between your old and new friends and see if you can get the best of both worlds.

What can I do now?

Last reviewed: 04 March, 2016
Did you find this article helpful?

You have already rated this article

Add a comment

Read the commenting guidelines: keep ReachOut.com safe and respectful