I'm not the smartest

Everyone told him he was not the smartest guy in the world. Here's how he laughed in the face of self-doubt.

boy reading while leaning against shelf
I looked at myself, and feel a sense of shame, a sense of uselessness.
Five years ago, a guy took an English book from me and said, "I bet my little brother's English is way better than yours!" And... I believed him. 

Four years ago, a guy said to me, "You? A doctor? Far out! Look at your results! *laughter*"And... I believed him. 

Three years ago, a girl told me, "Look! If I don't know how to answer this question, there is no way you will be able to answer it as well." And... I believed her.

All my life, I achieved results that were only fairly good, and over time my results gradually dropped. With my best friend passing away and me falling into a dark pit, I was a successful failure. 

Devastated

High Distinction and Distinctions were never in my dictionary. I thought I was stupid and will never ever achieve big. I looked at myself, and feel a sense of shame, a sense of uselessness.

I didn't get accepted into the course I wanted. I was devastated. My dad told me, "You have two choices. One, do Uni preparation course; or two, take up an easier course".

Changed my life

I thought for a very long time and finally made the decision that changed my whole life. I flew over to another city, enrolled into a pre-University course and passed with flying colours.

Of course, it wasn't that simple. While doing my course, it was difficult. I struggled but I did not give up. I was determined that I was going to show to everyone that I could do it. The greatest force that kept me moving was my mum's undying support and a few of my best friends. They never looked down on me and they were supportive all the way through.

I was very determined. I just kept pushing myself. Over and over again the situation convinced me to give up but I did not! I told myself, I am going to start a brand new life.

Exams came and go and results were out. I was nervous. It was my first exam ever since I started my brand new life.

And I did it.

Everything is up to me

I looked back into my life again. All the criticism that I have received, is now not only an encouragement for me to do better, but something that tells me that no one can make you who you are.

I've learnt that no one will be able to define me. Everything is in me. Everything is up to me. Whatever I choose, whoever I want to be, it's all up to ME!

I may not be the smartest person in the world but I am determined.

Last reviewed: 16 February, 2014
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2 Comments

  • ruenhonx    (1419 days ago)

    Hey powerm0142 I don't think I'm the smartest person but I do get some pretty good marks at uni and sometimes I don't always get them, I guess it just depends on what I like and what I don't. I think it's important to know when you need help and to ask for it. There are so many ways at uni that you can find help, speaking to a lecturer, tutor or a counsellor to help you. It might also be that you are not passionate about your course so speaking to a career counsellor to find what you enjoy. Changing your thinking is also the biggest thing, having a CAN DO attitude is a great approach and also building coping strategies to help you cope when you are struggling. If you come onto the forums, I'm sure other people will offer you other options. I hope this helps.

  • powerm0142    (1423 days ago)

    if you believe you are not the smartest person what other different options do i have to change my thinking so that i believe i am smart and that i can do any uni course i want