This is the story of how one girl finally came to the realisation that alcohol was not her best friend.
Alcohol became my best and worst friend.
It gave me confidence, it made me popular, I become emotionless; it provided a barrier from the outside world. Alcohol became my best and worst friend. It led to self-destruction; it became my coping mechanism to get through many tough times.
My grandfather abused alcohol so he didn't have to face his problems. Even though I swore that I would never turn out like him; to some extent I did. I abused alcohol to avoid what was going on in my life.
It didn't start well
There was this guy that I thought was gorgeous and I never would have even spoken to him if I was sober. I remember sitting at the park waiting for midnight to arrive and he joined me. That was the first time I had sex. I lost my virginity to a guy I had met at a party and I was drunk.
I was thirteen at the time. Looking back at the situation I could say that should have never happened. I was young and stupid but it seems that I still didn't learn my lesson.
I could write a novel about my experiences with alcohol. But if I had to write a summary this is how I used and abused my new best friend.
I drank at parties so I could be someone else.
I drank to escape the nightmares of being sexually abused by my mother's boyfriend.
I drank to reassure myself that it was ok to stay in an abusive relationship.
I drank to cope with death and loss.
I drank in the hope that one day my life would be better.
I drank because I didn't know what else to do.
Getting on top of it
I admit that I have not had the best start to life. A lot of things have happened that were out of my control but I have also made some poor life choices as well. Looking back over my teenage years I realise how detrimental alcohol can be. It can provide a temporary fix to deep down problems but by no means is it a solution.
One correct decision I have made in my life is that I did eventually seek help. I did come to the realisation that alcohol cannot be my best friend forever and that I do have to change my life.
I can proudly say that I have just done that. I have logged on to Reach Out when life sucked; I have taken away many tools and resources that I now apply to my everyday life. I have spent many hours in counsellors and psychologists offices going through my life and myself. I have come along way from that thirteen year old in the park and for once in my life I am not ashamed of the person who I am today.
Today I still face problems; I still deal with demons from my past but I have found a better way to get through them and move on. I can gladly say that alcohol has no part in this.
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