Life can't be fixed with a shot of vodka

This is the story of how one girl finally came to the realisation that alcohol was not her best friend.

shots being poured
Alcohol became my best and worst friend.
It gave me confidence, it made me popular, I become emotionless; it provided a barrier from the outside world. Alcohol became my best and worst friend. It led to self-destruction; it became my coping mechanism to get through many tough times.

My grandfather abused alcohol so he didn't have to face his problems. Even though I swore that I would never turn out like him; to some extent I did. I abused alcohol to avoid what was going on in my life.

 

It didn't start well

There was this guy that I thought was gorgeous and I never would have even spoken to him if I was sober. I remember sitting at the park waiting for midnight to arrive and he joined me. That was the first time I had sex. I lost my virginity to a guy I had met at a party and I was drunk.

I was thirteen at the time. Looking back at the situation I could say that should have never happened. I was young and stupid but it seems that I still didn't learn my lesson.

I could write a novel about my experiences with alcohol. But if I had to write a summary this is how I used and abused my new best friend.

I drank at parties so I could be someone else.

I drank to escape the nightmares of being sexually abused by my mother's boyfriend.

I drank to reassure myself that it was ok to stay in an abusive relationship.

I drank to cope with death and loss.

I drank in the hope that one day my life would be better.

I drank because I didn't know what else to do.

 

 

Getting on top of it

I admit that I have not had the best start to life. A lot of things have happened that were out of my control but I have also made some poor life choices as well. Looking back over my teenage years I realise how detrimental alcohol can be. It can provide a temporary fix to deep down problems but by no means is it a solution.

One correct decision I have made in my life is that I did eventually seek help. I did come to the realisation that alcohol cannot be my best friend forever and that I do have to change my life.

I can proudly say that I have just done that. I have logged on to Reach Out when life sucked; I have taken away many tools and resources that I now apply to my everyday life. I have spent many hours in counsellors and psychologists offices going through my life and myself. I have come along way from that thirteen year old in the park and for once in my life I am not ashamed of the person who I am today.

Today I still face problems; I still deal with demons from my past but I have found a better way to get through them and move on. I can gladly say that alcohol has no part in this.

Have you broken up with the bottle?

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Last reviewed: 08 July, 2015
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2 Comments

  • blithe    (812 days ago)

    Hi there 1puddy1.
    Thank you for sharing your story. Congratulations on starting to turn things around for yourself. Do you have a doctor or other support helping you? Having other people to talk to and support you can help lighten the load. If you want to talk to someone, you can try Lifeline on 13 11 14.
    Good luck with it!
    blithe

  • 1puddy1    (813 days ago)

    While it once gave me confidence, that started to slip away. i couldn't even get out anymore. It was all I had left. Two marriages, a home, great career - all gone.
    Then it started to kill me - I would go weeks without eating and would drink from the moment I got up til I slept. It became all I knew how to do - confidence shot.
    I have been to rehab 6 times, the mental health ward four, and hospitals.
    I realized no-one could help me but myself.
    While this is only my second day, I made sure I have no money for another month. Everyone has told me if I continue, I die, and I don't want to die.
    Thanks.