Long distance relationships

Being in a relationship with someone is tricky when there are a whole heap of kilometres that lie between you. Fortunately, even though long distance relationships are hard, there are some tips you can use to help make it work.

Read this if:

  • You spend your days longing for your far away partner
  • You’re not so sure if a long distance relationship is up your alley
  • You’re considering a long distance relationship and you want to make sure it works

What is it?

A long distance relationship refers to a relationship with a partner who doesn’t live in the same place as you, and who you probably don’t get to see very often. It’s hard to make it work sometimes – but it is possible. So, don’t throw in the towel; there are happy couples all over the place despite the many kilometres that lie between them. Read the following handy tips to help keep your relationship healthy.

You might have to work to make it work

There are some handy tips to ensure smooth sailing across the Relationship Sea:

  • Be confident in your relationship. So there’s a bit of distance between you and your partner. What of it? You’ve got this! Stay positive and believe that you can make it work.

  • Keep your jealousy in check. If your partner lives in a different place to you, they’ll be making new friends and forming new social networks but don’t let your imagination get the best of you. Just because they mention an awesome new friend they made, it doesn’t mean they’re in love and planning to elope.

  • Stay in touch. If you can’t see each other, the next best thing is chatting regularly. Stay up to date in each other’s lives to avoid feeling as though they’ve disappeared completely. Schedule a regular time to chat online or over the phone. If there’s a time difference, figure out when works for both of you and make that your regular time. 

  • Trust is a must, in order for your relationship to stay robust. Make sure you’re completely honest with your partner. If it looks like you’re hiding something, your partner will get suspicious, and we all know how that story ends. 

  • Lay everything out on the table. Everyone chooses to do long distance differently. You might agree to talk everyday, once a week or once a month. You might decide that you don’t want to be exclusive whilst you’re living apart. You might agree that sending texts at 3am on a Saturday morning is not allowed. Whatever it is – make sure you’re both on the same page. Get some tips on communication to make it easier. 

  • Make plans. We love to plan because it gives us something to look forward to. Plan a trip to go and visit your partner, or arrange a dinner date via Skype next Friday night. Reservation for two, 8pm?

  • Find the up side. Yeah, long distance relationships can be a real pain, but there are good things about them as well. You get all the support and love from being in a relationship, but you’ve still got lots of time to spend with your friends and to do the things that you want to do. Figure out what the up side is for you. Long distance doesn’t have to make for a long face. 

  • Be there for them without actually being there.  Even though your partner is living far away from you, they’re still going through all of the everyday ups and downs that they always went through. Make sure they still feel supported and cared for even though you can’t physically see them. Checking in regularly via phone or Skype and sending a nice virtual hug every now and then should do the trick. 

  • Surprise them. Some people love surprises. From a random text telling you ‘you’re awesome’ to a delicious pizza unexpectedly delivered to your doorstep – surprises never get old. Surprise your far away partner to keep things interesting.

What can I do now?

Last reviewed: 09 May, 2016
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  • Ben-RO    (321 days ago)

    @OmNomPineapples I am sorry that the long distance relationship has been so tough and i really love your "date night" idea! If you ever need to talk a little more about this we'll always be ready to chat over on our forums - http://forums.au.reachout.com/

  • OmNomPineapples    (325 days ago)

    I've been in a long distance relationship for over half a year now and it's tough, but I'd feel even worse if I wasn't their partner. I'm always holding onto the hope that things will get better and I truly believe they will. My partner has some mental health issues which make it harder, especially while trying to comfort them. We have a TV show we watch together too and it does help a lot having "date nights" over skype when the new episode comes out and then freaking out about it afterwards.

  • ohheylisa    (801 days ago)

    I've been in a long distance relationship for a few months, and it's definitely really hard to stay connected and keep the feelings up, so I can only try to imagine how you feel after two years. I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling so great about it anymore. Something that works for me (and for a lot of other people, from what I hear!) is picking a tv show to watch together while you're on skype, or watching separately and then talking about it after. Then you have something to chat about and look forward to doing together, since you can't physically be together.

    It's also really tough if there isn't and end-date to the long distance or a plan of seeing each other that you can look forward to, and know that you'll be together again soon, so if possible, maybe you could plan a time to get together (even if it's pretty far into the future). Good luck!

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