Sex

Q&A: I watch a lot of porn

Q: "I want to have sex, I think about it a lot, sometimes it's annoying, like I know I shouldn't be doing that but I end up doing it. I watch a lot of porn....for the past few days, every day. It can be because I feel lonely and I don't have a girl in my life. How can I deal with this mentality?"

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...try to balance your porn-watching with other things in your life.

A: Thinking about sex and watching porn is very healthy! It helps you work out what you like and don’t like, what turns you on, how your body works, and can be some of the best sex education available! However, it’s important to remember that porn is fantasy and does not show the reality of sex – both in the ways that women behave and in the ways that men seem to be able to ‘perform’. These actors are professional porn stars, and most real sex is very different.

It’s interesting that you say “I know I shouldn't be doing that but I end up doing it”. These feelings of guilt and shame are very common, but remember that sexual thoughts are part of our human nature and developing bodies. We’re not really taught about it, but the hormones that race through our bodies during teenage years work to make us more sexual. If you are a boy, you start getting erections more often (sometimes at awkward times!), ejaculation begins and you might find you’re thinking about sex a whole lot more. So there’s many reasons you might want to watch porn.

Lastly, remember that many girls watch porn too! While they may not talk about it, many experience the same sexual thoughts and feelings as you. You’re definitely not alone, but try to balance your porn-watching with other things in your life. If you’re worried that porn might be taking you away from other things you enjoy (like hanging out with friends, sports or hobbies), then you might think about talking to a counsellor about it.

 

Each month we ask you to send in your questions about all things sex, sexual health and contraception.

Responses are written by Giverny Lewis, a 25 year old with a Masters in Sexual Health, who currently works in the area of HIV and sexual health. Giverny is not a GP or medical professional. Any specific sexual health concerns should be raised in direct consultation with your health professional.

Last reviewed: 16 February, 2014
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3 Comments

  • Ben-RO    (228 days ago)

    Hey @PeteDaDogg I don't think it's a problem with your consumption of porn. It seems to me like you are pretty comfortable with your sexuality and know what you enjoy. It sounds to me like your partner does not quite understand this aspect of you and isn't too comfortable with it. Relationships can be tricky like that, there will always be differences and communication is key to resolving them!

  • PeteDaDogg    (229 days ago)

    I am in love with my penis, love porn and only worry about it when my partner uses it as a tool against me (in arguments etc). I can do without it, but love to have a good wank, make movies and know when to turn it off and go to work etc.I am not sure if I am addicted as I can go without when it isn't there. I was just following up on a recent situation with my 4th wife. She is straight as and cannot understand it. It's hard to explain and I don't like to share as she criticises it and that turns me off, humiliates me and ends any sex play. Just venting.

  • Milkshake    (1342 days ago)

    How do you deal with excruciating feelings of loneliness, worthlessness and frustration because of your lack of a sex life? It's as if my sexual needs don't matter in the sense that I'm not able to fulfil them anyway. And last but not least, being lonely and lacking confidence diminishes greatly your chances of attracting girls, and changing your situation for the better.