Bullying

What is bullying? It’s a word that gets used a lot to describe a whole lot of things. Find out what bullying is, and get the facts on what different types of bullying look like. It can affect you in a lot of different ways, and it’s hard to figure out why people are doing it to you. Find out what to do about it.

This can look like…

  • being harassed or abused
  • being excluded
  • having rumours spread about you
  • people posting stuff about you online
  • being dominated by someone

What is bullying?

Bullying is when people repeatedly and intentionally use words or actions against someone or a group of people to cause distress and risk to their wellbeing. People who do it usually have more influence or power over someone else, or want to make someone else feel less powerful or helpless.

Bullying is not the same as conflict between people (like having a fight) or disliking someone, even though people might bully each other because of conflict or dislike.

The sort of repeated behaviour that can be considered bullying include:  

  • Keeping someone out of a group (online or offline)
  • Giving nasty looks, making rude gestures, calling names, being rude and impolite, and constantly negative teasing.
  • Spreading rumours or lies, or misrepresenting someone (i.e. using their Facebook account to post messages as if it were them)
  • Messing around that goes too far
  • Harassing someone based on their race, sex, religion, gender or a disability
  • Intentionally and repeatedly hurting someone
  • Intentionally stalking someone
  • Taking advantage of any power over someone else
Bullying can happen anywhere. It can be in schools, at home, at work, in online social spaces, via text messaging or via email. It can be physical, verbal, emotional, and it also includes messages, public statements and behaviour online intended to cause distress or harm (also known as cyberbullying).

Types of bullying

Face-to-face bullying (sometimes referred to as direct bullying) involves physical actions such as punching or kicking or direct verbal actions such as name-calling and insulting.

Covert bullying (sometimes referred to as indirect bullying) is less direct, but just as painful. It means bullying which isn’t easily seen by others and happens out of sight, such as excluding people from groups or spreading lies or rumours. Because it is less obvious, it is often not noticed by other people.

Cyberbullying
 occurs through the use of technology like Instant Messaging or chat, text messages, email and social networks or forums. It’s similar to offline bullying, but it can also be anonymous, it can reach a wide audience, and sent or uploaded material can be difficult to remove. Most people who cyberbully also bully offline.

How can bullying affect you and others?

Bullying affects everyone in different ways. But there are common feelings that come up when you are being bullied. 

How bullying can affect individuals includes feeling:
  • guilty like it is your fault
  • hopeless and stuck like you can’t get out of the situation
  • alone, like there is no one to help you
  • like you don’t fit in with the cool group
  • depressed and rejected by your friends and other groups of people
  • unsafe and afraid
  • confused and stressed out wondering what to do and why this is happening to you
  • ashamed that this is happening to you

Bullying can have a negative impact on everyone – it is not just a problem for victims and bullies. If you see or know of others been bullied you may feel angry, fearful, guilty, and sad. You may also feel worried that the bullying could happen to you.  

When bullying isn’t stopped or challenged by anyone it can create an environment where bullying is accepted and where everyone feels powerless to stop it.

Why do people bully others?

People bully for different reasons. Those who bully persistently are likely to do so in order to dominate others and improve their social status. They may have high self-esteem, show little regret for their bullying behaviour and not see bullying as wrong.

Other people may bully out of anger or frustration, they may struggle socially and could have also been victims of bullying.

What can you do to stop bullies?

If you know or see someone who is being bullied, find out how to stop bullying. If you are being bullied, you should talk to someone you know well and trust; they will give you much needed support and will often have suggestions you hadn't considered for helping with the situation.

If you feel safe and confident, you should approach the person who is bullying you and tell them that their behaviour is unwanted and you won’t put up with it. If you are being bullied while at school, it is a good idea to seek help from a friend, or to talk to a teacher or counsellor to see if they can help. If you are being bullied at work, check out the info on workplace bullying.

Know your rights. You have a right to feel safe and to be treated fairly and respectfully. Bullying is a serious problem with serious mental and physical impacts. Find out about your rights when you’re facing harassment.

The Australian Human Rights Commission (1300 656 419) has a complaint handling service that may investigate complaints of discrimination, harassment and bullying.

This fact sheet was developed in partnership with the Australian Human Rights Commission, 2011. Facts included from the National Safe Schools Framework

What can I do now?

Last reviewed: 27 February, 2013
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18 Comments

  • Kitty_234   (1 days ago)

    Bullying sucks and stuff, but you can't always look at the victims point of veiw. i get that it hurts them and makes them feel bad but you have to wonder what the bully is feeling. i used to bully people, not badly, but it was still bullying. The reason i was doing it was because i was so angry at the world for hurting me so much and i wanted to take back from the world by hurting someone else. In a way it was also a way of trying to ask for help. so i think there should be a page on the bullys perspective.

  • Doris   (3 days ago)

    Hey Melinda. Thanks for raising that interesting point. It is true that a bully may also suffer from low self-esteem thus belittle others to feel empowered. It is important to talk to someone (a friend, a teacher, a parent or a professional) if you are worried bullying is occurring. Most of all, if you see or know someone is being bullied, let them know you are there to support them all the way. Letting the victim know s/he is not alone will definitely help build their self-esteem to stand up to the bully. On the same note, the bully with a low self-esteem prob also need some TLC and a reality check and some therapeutic intervention may be the best option.

  • Melinda Walker   (4 days ago)

    I believe more than anything we need to teach the victims of bullies that the bully is weak and pathetic and rather than having high self-esteem they actually have very low self-esteem because the only way they can make themselves feel better is by making others feel worse. A person will healthy self-esteem or high-self esteem does not need to do this. We need to be teaching all our kids to empower themselves, to respect and value themselves and to know that being nasty, mean or bullying another person is only ever about making the bully feel better and the victim feel worse.

  • gail   (38 days ago)

    Hey tyker12345, Sorry to hear that you've been being bullied, that's a horrible thing to experience. Try to keep in mind that the bullying isn't a reflection of you or your worth though. Have you read about how to stand up against bullies? There's a factsheet here that you might be interested in checking out: http://www2.au.reachout.com/How-to-stand-up-against-bullying Also, feel free to head over to the forums - just click on the forums tab on the top right. There's loads of young people that you can connect with who have been through similar things and might have some strategies to help you out :) Take care!

  • tyker12345   (45 days ago)

    hey been bullied for about 3 years now gets me down sometimes ):

  • tyker12345   (45 days ago)

    hi im feeling down11

  • mischiefmanaged   (59 days ago)

    Hey need_help, I am SO sorry to hear about your experience with bullying. I can relate a lot to some of it. I went to an all girl's school and bitching and gossiping was a regular part of everyday life and it's REALLY awful especially if you are a constant target. :( And yep, sneaky bullying is the WORST! You know it's happening but you can't defend yourself or do anything about it because it's hidden so well. I am sorry to hear the assistant principal hasn't been helpful at all - have you spoken to anyone else at the school about what is happening? Maybe the school counsellor or your year level coordinator or even your favourite teacher? Talking to your school counsellor could also give you some great advice on how to cope with the bullying. It's important to remember to be nice to yourself and that the things the bullies are saying are not true. Maybe see if you can try and surround yourself with positive people at school and do some positive things to help you feel better when the bullying is getting you down. You might want to check out the http://bullyingnoway.gov.au/ website for some tips on bullying. And remember that Kids Help Line are always available to have a chat: http://www.kidshelpline.com.au 1800 551 800 (available 24/7 on the phone). You might also want to check out the ReachOut.com forums to get some more tips: http://forums.au.reachout.com Take care of yourself and I hope things improve soon! MM.

  • need_help   (59 days ago)

    I've been bullied for 6 years now but about 5 by the same girl. she is never physical it's always behind my back and very sneaky. but she never stops! I've basically been called every name under the bloody sun and i'm quite irritated. I have gone to the assistant principal and that barely did anything. she got off on a warning. Now, I'm 16 and we're supposed to be more mature than that. I don't need this going into year 11. My friends have always heard her and some popular girls bitching about me in free periods and in classes that I'm not in. I recently did my English Oral SAC on Bullying and Suicide and I cried when I started telling them about my story. Somehow they found out and the bitching has gotten worse. No one can really do anything because of how sneaky they are. My best friend was in their class last week and she had a go at them. I can't stand up for myself and I'm not really a physical person despite some things I say. I don't understand why I'm always the target. My mum says it's just jealousy because I'm rather skinny and smart. But I just want it to stop...

  • ruenhonx   (72 days ago)

    Wow Aquestria you are truly going through a very difficult time and being bullied is a horrible experience. It seems as though you are actively trying to get help and that shows your strength. Unfortunately you cannot change people but you can change how you deal with people. Taking care of yourself is so important, doing things you love and finding coping strategies to help you deal with the bullying is so important. Also dont give up trying to get help because you deserve to feel safe and happy. If you need to talk more please come to the forums we are here to support you.

  • Aquestria   (77 days ago)

    Im being bullied and from where i am feels like everyone is bullying me :( i don't know what do to do. Im being Harassed every where and every day! At home at school over the phone on the internet. I've told so many people and tried to get help but it just won't stop! I have loads of rumours going on about me when no one knows me and i don't have any friends :( i have people saying stuff about me to my face like "ew look at her she is sooo gross! i mean look at that face!" i haven't done anything and i don't know what to do I'm always getting bullied for my name to. I've had my parents and my parents friends call up my school and complain but nothings happening. Everyone in my class just uses me they'll act like my friends and try and get money off me. Right now i am sitting near a group of people in my class and other class's they know I'm here and all they're doing is ignoring me and saying mean things about me like I'm not there! Please help! :( i don't know what to do.

  • Lightuptheworld   (109 days ago)

    Hi stillnotok. Well done on reaching out and looking for help, that can be a tough thing to do. Sorry to hear you're dealing with bullying and going through a hard time at the moment. Have you spoken to a teacher or your school principal about the bullying? (Or if you're being bullied at work a manager?) It's important to get help from those who can help you work out what to do in your situation, support from family and friends and also others who can help with the emotions you might be going through. Talking to a school counsellor, your doctor or a psychologist about what you're dealing with, especially your self harm is a really good idea as they can help you work out other coping mechanisms and give you advice. You might also like to check out the ReachOut fact sheets on self harm: http://au.reachout.com/What-is-self-harm (it has some really great tips and I've found it useful in the past) and also how to stand up against bullying: http://www2.au.reachout.com/How-to-stand-up-against-bullying. Youth Beyondblue also have a factsheet on bulling you might like to check out. It's really important to know that you're not alone there's always people who can help whether that's in person, Kids Help Line/Life Line, Headspace either online or in person or on the ReachOut forums just to name a few. Take care and keep reaching out to people!

  • stillnotok   (110 days ago)

    I'm being bullied and self harming because of it... and nothing's being done about it. I don't know what to do...

  • ruenhonx   (218 days ago)

    Hey yvette, thanks for your comment. Yes I agree with everything you've said I actually worked at this job and my manager was such a bully and people were scared to even come up to her and when some of us decided to stop it and go to the CEO we pretty much got tossed out, and 2 weeks later we were let go. It is really sad that bullying continues and no one does anything about it. You are right, there needs to be more in place and hopefully in the future things will improve.

  • yvette   (220 days ago)

    Sadly not enough is being done about bullying,in the work place some bullying behaviour is considered assertive,the person doing the bullying knows whom to target and it usually is someone who is vulnerable and shows their vulnerability,bullies know how to suck up to people who have power and ingratiate themselves with them,so that when they target someone they are more likely to get away with it,I worked in a profession where bullying was part of the structure,bullies were regarded as assertive and they usually got promoted which gave them more power to torment others with impunity sadly it is still rooted in that profession and very little has been done about it,when attempts are being done occasionally, they are shelved in the too hard basket.Lots more needs to be done against bullying in school and the work place.

  • gail   (221 days ago)

    Hey dontknowwhattodo, It's good to hear that reading this factsheet cleared things up for you - sometimes it can be a but confusing trying to draw the line between bullying & normal friendship dramas. Finding some new friends sounds like a good idea - you don't deserve to be feeling dominated or like your best friend is doing the wrong thing. Hanging out with some fresh faces is a great idea :) Let us know how you go! x

  • dontknowhattodo   (222 days ago)

    This made me realise that what is happening to me is actually bullying. At first I was unsure but now after reading things like: - being dominated by someone - messing around that goes to far I know that what she's doing is wrong. Time to find a new bestfriend!

  • Lightuptheworld   (230 days ago)

    Hi Sapphire. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Well done for speaking up and getting help though, that can be a rather tough thing to do. Sorry to hear that you're still experiencing some bullying- do you have someone you can talk to about it? Take care, LUTW

  • Sapphire   (246 days ago)

    I was bullied for a long time, actually since day 1 in Prep. But now I understand that it wasn't my fault. I spoke up, and it sort of stopped but it still is going on. But if anyone else is being bullied out there, know that it WILL be stopped, and that there are others out there just like you. Talk to a school counsellor about it, and most of all, tell the teachers until they do something!